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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be tearful and upset?

112 replies

minxthemanx · 07/03/2016 16:58

Mother's day yesterday. No flowers, no small gift . One small card between the 2 DS (age 14 and 9 so old enough to sort it themselves). They'd written: love from.. Name. No message. Dh gave me a bowl of cereal for breakfast in bed, and had booked pizza express for tea. But shouted and slammed doors in the afternoon when I asked him to turn laptop down a bit (dh2 and I watching DVD, dh sits next to us and puts laptop on loudly. Arse. ). So I refused to go to pizza express, and told them all what i thought of them. My mum has sent me flowers today and I've been tearful ever since. Am I over reacting? I run round like a blue arsed fly for this family.

OP posts:
harshbuttrue1980 · 07/03/2016 17:04

You got a card and the offer of a meal out. What would have made you happy? Diamonds? YABU - and spoilt.

LifeofI · 07/03/2016 17:04

yabu

fastdaytears · 07/03/2016 17:05

Yabvu

I love pizza express

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/03/2016 17:07

YABU. Sounds perfectly normal.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/03/2016 17:07

Is this about Mother's Day or is this about being underappreciated in general?
If its just MD then I would say you overreacted.

If its about being underappreciated in general then that is a much bigger issue.

londonrach · 07/03/2016 17:07

But they did bother! You had a card and a meal. Yabu

CombineBananaFister · 07/03/2016 17:08

I don't always sympathise with those who moan about gifts but in your case it sounds indicative of a larger issue of feeling underappreciated in general, not just on one day? If so, stop running round like a blue arse fly for them - people will treat you how how they've come to see you (skivvy?!?) not nice but true.

So YANBU if you don't do this a lot and it was the thoughtless stick that broke the camels back, but YABU if you do this often.

Puffins12345 · 07/03/2016 17:08

You got a card and a meal out, I'd be happy with that! TBH, like you say, the kids are old enough, so not really DH's issue (even though the 9 year old probably needed help) you moaned about the meal out because of DH, what about the kids? I don't know, I think you're being a bit U

CombineBananaFister · 07/03/2016 17:09

x-post Chazs Blush am a bloody slow typer

PirateSmile · 07/03/2016 17:09

You got pretty much what I got, and I was thrilled!

SleepyBoBo · 07/03/2016 17:10

Sorry, yabu. A card, breakfast in bed and dinner sorted sounds like a pretty normal Mothers Day to me. Refusing to go to Pizza Express sounds quite childish actually, seems you cut off your nose to spite your face.

Buckinbronco · 07/03/2016 17:10

Seriously? I can't believe the answers you've had! Crappy shared card from teenagers plenty old enough to buy 1 each (and a present) then got shouted at? Why would you want to go to pizza express with them? I'm on your side OP. They suck at Mother's Day

Original poster
minxthemanx · 07/03/2016 17:10

Just a message; thanks Mum. It felt very cold. Ds1 didn't want to go out for dinner and had huge paddy, ds2 barely looked up from his iPad all day. When I tried to have a cuddle with him, Dh ruined it by shouting and slamming doors. Didn't exactly feel the love, put it that way. When it was time to go out for tea, DS 1 was having his tantrum, Dh was busy watching James bond and kept saying "in a minute." Felt like I was a big inconvenience.

OP posts:
CaptainCrunch · 07/03/2016 17:10

In the name of jiminy fucking cricket not another mothers day strop thread. There are a million of them already.

Yabu on two counts, (1) being an arse about your gifts and pizza express and (2) starting a boring, whiney thread about it.

ghostyslovesheep · 07/03/2016 17:10

I think you need some perspective - it's Mother's Day - both your kids remembered - you got a card and lovely food

Okay maybe you wanted more of a fuss - so next year say so - but for this year I think you are over reacting a tad!

SaucyJack · 07/03/2016 17:12

YABU on the Mother's Day fuss.

YANBU for thinking that your husband is a stroppy child over the volume.

(And I shall refrain from making smart arsed comments about your second husband)

whois · 07/03/2016 17:13

I don't think you're being U. God people are so horrible about mothers feeling under appreciated!

It's obviously not about the pizza express location, and about feeling like no one appreciates what you do in a more general sense.

Katenka · 07/03/2016 17:14

Yabu. You got what a lot of people got a card and a meal out.

I got a similar breakfast in bed and didn't manage to stay there for it. The rest of the day was like normal. If you kids usually spend time on their iPad I don't see why they wouldn't do that.

What did you want to do for the day?

Your dh was an arse, but it sounds like there is a lot more going on in the house. None of you sound happy.

To be still crying over today is very unreasonable.

Refusing to go out and telling them all what you think of them sounds harsh. What did you say to your kids?

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 07/03/2016 17:15

I never get the moaning about "running round after them", surely its all part of choosing to be parent?

You got a card, breakfast and a planned meal out. What more did you want?

Original poster
minxthemanx · 07/03/2016 17:16

Neither of the kids rembered. Dh bought a card and they wrote their names in. Nobody wanted to go out for tea, atmosphere was very strained, so I said I didn't want to sit in restaurant with everyone in a mood. Like I said, it all felt very cold.

OP posts:
Katenka · 07/03/2016 17:17

It's obviously not about the pizza express location, and about feeling like no one appreciates what you do in a more general sense.

But why is Mother's Day such a big deal for showing that. If you family shows no appreciation all year round. Why do people think they will squash all into one day.

The under appreciation needs dealing with. But if it's gone on 365 days why would Mother's Day be so different.

People put so much pressure on it 'if they put on a good show today I will put up with this shit another year' is not the way to live.

Jesabel · 07/03/2016 17:17

I wouldn't want to go for a meal with DP if he had been shouting and slamming doors. That's not normal behaviour in my world.

Katenka · 07/03/2016 17:18

I never get the moaning about "running round after them", surely its all part of choosing to be parent?

I said this to dh yesterday.

Original poster
minxthemanx · 07/03/2016 17:22

OK. Thanks for your thoughts, those that bothered to be polite. It's obviously a bigger issue than mother's day, and feeling a bit taken for granted. I sent my Mum a bouquet and card, as always. 99p bunch of daffs and thank you Mum, would have meant the world.

OP posts:
Cutecat78 · 07/03/2016 17:22

I also agree it's part of being a parent.

I was not bothered about expensive gifts from the kids I don't really want them spending their money on me (it's their dads and mine days this week too).

Two of my teenager came home early from their dads, went and got meat, veg and wine and made us all a roast.

I couldn't have been more chuffed.