To be tearful and upset?

[minxthemanx]

Mother's day yesterday. No flowers, no small gift . One small card between the 2 DS (age 14 and 9 so old enough to sort it themselves). They'd written: love from.. Name. No message. Dh gave me a bowl of cereal for breakfast in bed, and had booked pizza express for tea. But shouted and slammed doors in the afternoon when I asked him to turn laptop down a bit (dh2 and I watching DVD, dh sits next to us and puts laptop on loudly. Arse. ). So I refused to go to pizza express, and told them all what i thought of them. My mum has sent me flowers today and I've been tearful ever since. Am I over reacting? I run round like a blue arsed fly for this family.

And from me ' . And also some

I don't think you were over reacting.

You do so much all year and all you wanted was some happy, family time to celebrate for one day - which you didn't get due to your dh behaving like a twat.

Was ds1's meltdown something to do with his brain injury? It's not usual behaviour for a kid that age.

Next year can you plan to do something nice with your mum without the rest of them?

Its a misconception that splitting a family up is a bad thing though, sometimes parents remaining together is way more toxic to children as they will sense atmospheres & they will know if things are not right, regardless of the smiles you plaster on. You are modelling to your children what a healthy adult relationship is & this may be the model they use for themselves later on.

Have a think & put yourself & your children first & work out what you want, do you really want to be with him for another x amount of years...if you do then great, if you don't then post in Relationships where its less bitey...

Minx, you have a husband problem and a over-invested-in-what-your-children owe-you-for-being-born problem, but not a mother's day problem.

You potentially need to be able to take a look outside the box and understand what your needs are and why they are not being met in your present situation.

YANBU

Next year go and do something for yourself. Plan it ahead of time and warn them all that you will not be around. Perhaps go and spend the w/e with your mum, who does appreciate you.

OP - yes you have a husband problem. Your dc will no doubt be picking up cues from your DH as to how to treat you too - if he's shouty and unappreciative, they will pick that up.

I got homemade cards, chocs, a home made cake and a mug, and flowers. I also got taken to my mum's for a meal there and driven home after

Not much, or a lot, depending on your point of view -but thoughtful all the same, and they marked the day for me. Which was nice.

We do all make a fuss over each other on MD, FD, birthdays etc. It's what families do IME.

I certainly didn't interpret your post as wanting diamonds, but then, AIBU can be a harsh arena.

Dh is beginning to accept his behaviour isn't normal and we've talked about aspergers. Are at the early stage of trying to figure it all out. Tis a bit of a strain on top of ds1 medical/emotional problems but I normally cope with it all. Think I just got over emotional this year, and instead of "thanks mum" I got dh behaving like a prat and ds1 throwing a wobbly. Next year I'll plan ahead! Thank you for listening everyone.

Yanbu. I think some mummies should take a time out and go fold some knickers or something. How rude some of you are. Nothing wrong with showing a bit of love, kindness and appreciation

Choceclair, you made me smile! X

YANBU. At all!

A basic card and a trip to Pizza Express (they might well have taken you to MacDonald's for all the thought they put into it!) is not what I would call appreciation.

for you.

YANBU, OP. Please don't make an effort for the arse on Father's Day. The posters telling you YABU sound bloody miserable.

IF YOU'RE SICK OF MOTHER'S DAY THREADS DON'T READ THEM AND DON'T COMMENT.

Dimwits.