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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you all to help calm me down re dd's vaccinations

101 replies

Givinguph0pe · 24/02/2016 17:09

Dd is due her 8 week jabs tomorrow. Since she was born I've suffered terribly with ptsd, pnd and extreme anxiety - particularly around dd being ill.

I know she has to have the vaccines but the idea of taking my tiny helpless baby along to be jabbed by something which may make her ill is making me feel incredibly anxious already. I took ds and didn't worry but everything has been different this time round.

Please tell me how she will be ok after the jabs. I know the risk is greater not having them but it just feels awful taking my healthy baby for something which might harm her.

OP posts:
buntingbingo · 24/02/2016 17:18

She will be absolutely fine. We are so so lucky to live in a country where we have these vaccinations.
It's natural to be worried about her but you know it's for the greater good.
When its all over get cosy and have lots of cuddles and kisses for both of you. Just focus on it being over and done with.

outputgap · 24/02/2016 17:19

Oh bless you. It's just the anxiety talking, and it's great that you kind of know this already yourself. Good for you.

She will be fine. At the very worse she will get a temperature. And that is it. And you will be protecting your beautiful precious baby against forms of meningitis, whooping cough, tetanus and other horrible illnesses that I can't remember. She would be so grateful to you if she could make the assessment herself.

Are you getting any help with the anxiety, pnd and ptsd, my love?

ZappDingbat · 24/02/2016 17:21

Oh hope, have a hand hold.
It's sounds like you are having a really rough time. Flowers

It also sounds like you believe it is the right thing to have your DD vaccinated. I agree with you. Is there anyone who can go with you to hold your DD while the actual injections are being given? You could go into the room and go through the consent form and hear the aftercare advice and then leave the room while the actual jabs are being done.

In 99.9% of cases the worst side effects are a temp and being a bit grizzly for a few days. Paracetamol/Calpol is advised after the first and third lot of jabs. You prob have some in already due to older DS but it's worth making sure, to remove the stress of having to get some afterwards.

Where the injections are given it may go red or a little hard lump may appear. This is completely normal and just a sign that the baby is developing immunity.

The other thing to be aware of is that your DD may get loose stools after the rotavirus vaccination. That's the medicine given orally. You need to be really careful with hand hygiene and disposing of those nappies so no one else gets poorly from it.

While this all sounds a lot to put up with, not all babies get all or any side effects. To help you balance it in your mind, try to focus on how you are doing what you believe to be best for her, in preventing these horrible potentially fatal illnesses.

I really hope you have a kind empathetic tomorrow. And I hope your DD gets through without any side effects.

ZappDingbat · 24/02/2016 17:23

Meant to say a kind empathetic nurse...

Original poster
Givinguph0pe · 24/02/2016 17:38

I just find it so stressful making these decisions.
Dd was ill when she was born and had a drip and lots of blood tests and she screamed and screamed and so I feel awful putting her through anything else.

OP posts:
anniroc · 24/02/2016 17:42

She will be fine, and probably won't be ill, bar feeling a bit sore. It's worse when they're older tbh - we had to hold ds (5) down to give him the meningitis B jab Sad

Maudofallhopefulness · 24/02/2016 18:09

Vaccinations are to prevent serious illness. The jabs will be over in seconds. Wipe the tears away, give DC a cuddle and have Calpol ready just in case. Mine never needed it.

lavenderdoilly · 24/02/2016 18:42

Had post natal ptsd myself. My Dd is 8 now. Be impressed with yourself that you recognise how it messes with your judgement. Your baby will be fine and you are doing a good thing. I hope you can find good support if you don't already have it.

schlong · 24/02/2016 20:08

She DOESN'T have to have the vaccines. It's your informed choice. It's not because you're anxious that you're wobbling. It's because you're a sentient human being.

Cue foaming at the mouth militant pro vaccination onslaught. Yawn.

ScoutsMam · 24/02/2016 20:13

My DD spent a week getting bloods and stuff too when she was born. Was awful to see and I totally see where you're coming from.

I chose to have DD vaccinated, and she took it like a champ. Barely registered with her. If you decide you do want to go ahead she'll have forgotten it in minutes.

specialsubject · 24/02/2016 20:15

yes, it is the informed choice of the OP who is able to assess relative risk despite her anxiety. I take off my hat to her.

so many want everything to be 100% safe - NOTHING is 100% safe because we all die.

BTW the baby doesn't need a smallpox vaccine because the disease has been eradicated. We should all thank whatever deity we believe in (or none) every single bloody day for that. Here's to the day when more diseases are in that category.

specialsubject · 24/02/2016 20:15

BTW schlong are you vaccinated? just askin', as they say....

schlong · 24/02/2016 20:33

Since when did it become a given that anxiety disorders induce reluctance to vaccinate? That's mad and dangerous cultivating of groupthink. I know let's vaccinate against anxiety that way problem solved.

OP remember it's perfectly within your rights to decline or delay the vaccs.

Fugghetaboutit · 24/02/2016 20:47

You will have to hold her very tightly as they inject into the thigh on either side. I used my boob to calm my ds down and had it ready which really helped - if you breastfeed of course.

If you have watched the video of the baby with whooping cough gasping for air I'm sure you will want these vaccinations. Or the pictures of that poor child covered in a huge rash from meningitis before she died.
My dd will have them in two weeks and I can't wait until she is protected from horrible diseases.

Also, with ds he didn't have any side effects, just a raised temp and slept for literally 20 hours straight after, just waking to feed it was bliss! Most break I've had since tbh Grin

StonedAndDethroned · 24/02/2016 20:48

I also have anxiety and had terrible PND.

You say your DD was ill when she was born and had to have a drip and blood tests etc. That could help you here, because she's already survived worse.

My DS survived being 10 weeks early, 8 weeks in neonatal care, drips, tubes, blood tests, injections, a lumbar puncture etc etc so when it came to his vaccinations I thought "we've been through worse, this is nothing in comparison" maybe reframing it that way could help you cope?

Also, it will be uncomfortable for her but less so than a bumped head or a nettle sting or any of the other minor things she will face at some point. And it will only hurt for seconds.

Thanks
Fugghetaboutit · 24/02/2016 20:49

I can imagine all these unvaccinated children growing up and being really pissed off when they find out their parents didn't vaccinate them and put them at risk. I would be.

Outmyself · 24/02/2016 20:55

A moment of pain for a lifetimes gain.
Think how terrible you would feel if your baby caught a disease that you could have prevented.

schlong · 24/02/2016 20:56

I can imagine all these vaccinated children growing up and being really pissed off when they find out their parents vaccinated them and put them at risk. I was. My dc won't be. Keep up now.

OP vaccs aren't compulsory.

Trooperslane · 24/02/2016 21:00
Confused Schlong and others, wind your neck in. You are not helping the op. She hasn't asked for a vax debate and yawn yourself.

Op, deep breaths. Truly, it's over in a second. You know that from your DS. Could someone else take her in then boob/bottle in straight away?

Thanks for you.

Fugghetaboutit · 24/02/2016 21:00

Why would anyone be pissed off at being vaccinated? Ridiculous. 'You protected me from measles and meningitis?! Fuck you, Mum!' Hmm

Trooperslane · 24/02/2016 21:01

Listen to stoned too.

If she's anything like dd, she'll look confused then go to sleep for s few hours peace at last

VoldysGoneMouldy · 24/02/2016 21:04

OP it's the anxiety talking, and I promise you it will be over in seconds. A hand hold here. x

Those of you anti vaxers that think this is a good place to spout your views, you should be ashamed of yourselves. The OP has made her decision, and her mental health is making it difficult for her - you're effectively picking on someone's panic and using it as a platform. Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

insideout · 24/02/2016 21:09

Can you take someone with you? With my 1st i felt really anxious but its over and done with really quickly. Baby will cry ( probably for about 30 seconds ) then forget all about it! Also make things easier on yourself keep her in baby grow-easy access to legs.

Trooperslane · 24/02/2016 21:09

Keep us posted op. Hand holding too.

Brummiegirl15 · 24/02/2016 21:10

My beautiful DD was 8 wks last week and she had her jabs. Yes she cried and it was horrible. But she had calpol and cuddles was calm fairly quickly.

She was a bit grizzly and clingy and had a raised temp but regular calpol meant it came down, next day she was fine.

I'm incredibly grateful that we have vaccinations, and yes it cussed a moment of upset, but falling ill and having many needles and tests is way worse.

Faye Burdetts parents would have given anything for the men B vaccine and I'm so grateful my baby girl could have it and I'm not scrabbling around desperately trying to find stocks