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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Your wife should be your +1

122 replies

Gattabianca · 09/02/2016 13:31

Background: DH likes watching football and goes often. I don't especially like it but occasionally go with him. I haven't been recently as he goes with his family so hard for us to get babysitter when they are all at football.
He's got friends in other areas who support the same team, so in the past he's been to watch games with friends in other cities.

Last week he told me he's going with a friend to watch a game in London. I said I'd travel down with him and take our little boy to do something nice in London. All fine.

Yesterday, I found out from his mum (who he offered the ticket to first but she can't go) that he's been given 2 hospitality tickets from a client, including lunch, seats in a box and free bar all afternoon.

AIBU to think that he should have asked me if I wanted to go?

I had a cheap day out in London planned but, in light of what DH is doing, WIBU to take our son somewhere lovely for lunch and put it on his credit card?

OP posts:
DontCareHowIWantItNow · 09/02/2016 13:35

YABU in this case about the ticket. You admit you don't like football and his friend does.

YANBU to take your son out though Wink

theycallmemellojello · 09/02/2016 13:37

Everyone's entitled to have outings without their DP! I often go with friends to stuff without inviting my DH, and I wouldn't feel obliged to ask him if I got a free ticket somewhere. I don't see why he'd ask you if you don't like football.

deregistered · 09/02/2016 13:40

No you are being mean - don't ruin this for him even if you keep 'joking' about putting lunch on his credit card. Just because you've found it involved food and booze you are stamping your feet. You don't want to go, let him go and enjoy it!

Original poster
Gattabianca · 09/02/2016 13:43

I like free bars!!

We both do loads of stuff with friends separate from each other. The problem is not that he's doing something without me, it's that he's doing something that I would love without asking me, or even telling me that he was doing it!

OP posts:
RosaDiaz · 09/02/2016 13:44

I'd watch football if it meant a free bar all afternoon!
He knows it's completely different to just watching a game and doesn't want you to go for some reason. Give him dc & go out somewhere fancy

Nottodaythankyouorever · 09/02/2016 13:48

He knows it's completely different to just watching a game and doesn't want you to go for some reason.

Why!! It is logical. OP doesn't like football and friend does.

talk about trying to look for things that aren't there

Shutthatdoor · 09/02/2016 13:50

it's that he's doing something that I would love without asking me

It isn't something you love. It at the end of the day is still cebtred around a football match which you don't like. Hmm

I seriously can't see the issue.

SaucyJack · 09/02/2016 13:51

I dunno. I suppose it depends on your usual lifestyle/entertainment budget.

If you two never get to go out out together, and this really would be a massive treat then YANBU.

If you go out most months together somewhere naice, then YABU.

BaronessBomburst · 09/02/2016 13:52

But you're not interested in the football. You just want the food and the booze. YABU. Let him go with someone who will really appreciate the full package and you can get drunk with him another time. Confused

Terribleknitter · 09/02/2016 13:53

It's not that different, if you end up being bored to tears with a free bar available you'll just end up bored to tears and drunk!
It's a waste to give a ticket like that to someone who doesn't even like football, YABU.

Original poster
Gattabianca · 09/02/2016 13:53

Exactly Rosa. I wouldn't be bothered about going to a normal game but I definitely do want to go to this. He knows that, which is why he hasn't told me.
I was being serious about taking DS out for lunch somewhere nice.

OP posts:
theycallmemellojello · 09/02/2016 13:54

But it's more fun to watch a game with someone who is actually enjoying it too and not just necking drinks from the free bar. And you would still have to actually watch the game between trips to the bar! It would not occur to me that someone who didn't enjoy football might enjoy it when there was a free bar, it probably didn't occur to him.

JohnLuther · 09/02/2016 13:55

He hasn't done anything wrong, you don't like football.

Arfarfanarf · 09/02/2016 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Gattabianca · 09/02/2016 13:59

We never, ever go out together. Not because we can't afford it .just because there never seems to be time. he keeps saying we should do more stuff as a couple, then has the perfect opportunity to do something nice just the two of us and takes a mate instead.
We may not have been able to get a babysitter, in which case I wouldn't have gone anyway, but it would have been nice to be asked.
I don't hate football - like I said I go occasionally, I'm just not bothered about it like he is.

OP posts:
HelpfulChap · 09/02/2016 14:00

When I had top tier corporate tickets for my team (worth around £500 a pop) I took my DW.

So I have a bit of sympathy with the OP.

Costacoffeeplease · 09/02/2016 14:00

Of course yabu - why would he ask you to go?

Goingtobeawesome · 09/02/2016 14:01

Talking about putting stuff on his credit card is immature.

Tell him you would like to go with him, ask him why he doesn't want you too.

DoJo · 09/02/2016 14:01

I can see how watching a match with someone who is interested in it would be more fun for him. I cannot see how the addition of a free bar could change a football match from something you 'don't especially like' to 'something that [you] would love' and 'definitely do want to go to'. Perhaps he wasn't aware that you set so much store by free food and booze...

Inertia · 09/02/2016 14:02

I'd be a bit cross about not getting the full story to be honest.

CottonFrock · 09/02/2016 14:03

Honestly, OP, as someone without the faintest interest in football, but whose circumstances have meant I've spent a fair bit of time in those stadium boxes - they're utterly grim unless you're interested in the game. It's not a nice bar that happens to be inside a football stadium, it's a glassed-in space crammed full of people shrieking and howling at the pitch. The food is rarely particularly good, and the whole experience is centred on the game.

Honestly, would you go and sit in a football bar thronged with roaring supporters jumping up and down at a TV screen, just because the alcohol was free? Because that's pretty much what this is, only with the pitch down below as well as TV screens.

IShouldBeSoLurky · 09/02/2016 14:03

Football in corporate hospitality is still boring and shit football. YABU.

MardyGrave · 09/02/2016 14:03

This isn't the perfect opportunity though really is it? This is one of his biggest hobbies, and you'd just be there for the free stuff. The point of these vip days is to be 'immersed' in the football, chatting over your meal about the game/players etc.

If he had tickets for a Michelin hotel experience, then I'd feel a bit snubbed if my husband didn't want to go with me, but this is a football experience.

LazyDaysAndTuesdays · 09/02/2016 14:03

the perfect opportunity to do something nice just the two of us

It isn't just the two of you and you don't even like football!

Filmstar01 · 09/02/2016 14:05

The issue for me would be that his mother told me! I'd be a bit put out that he didn't ask me as I could enjoy a day out like this even though I don't like football. I'd pick it up with him and ask him to treat you and your son for your day out too! You'll have a nice day making memories with him I'm sure!

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