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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too be annoyed at this parent...

127 replies

Confusedmomma · 31/01/2016 08:24

So I'm arranging a birthday party , and in my childs class there are 4 child with the same hyphenated name L-M. Except one of the 4 her mother decided she was a special snowflake and her first name is 3 names all hyphenated L-M-E.
So as I'm writing the invites in a rush I accidentally write them all as L-M , no big deal right?
Well on Friday , the mother pulls me and says my child would attend your childs party but it seems you've given us the wrong invite. It's says L-M not L-M-E , and I'd like an invite with her correct name on and just walks off. Is it me or is she being a bit dramatic? I have a double name and have no problem having my name shortened , my mother never did. Am I right too be a bit annoyed or was I wrong for not putting her daughters full name?

OP posts:
IndomitabIe · 31/01/2016 08:26

If she just walked off, leave it. You've invited the child, if she wants to cut her nose off to spite her face, so be it. One fewer indulged darling to put up with.

Some people are weird.

Sirzy · 31/01/2016 08:27

If there are 4 children with the same name maybe she genuinely thought it had been given to the wrong child. Just apologise for the mistake and clarify that it was her daughter you were inviting.

Katenka · 31/01/2016 08:29

She was unreasonable to ask for one with the full name.

But would it have hurt to put her actual name on it?

Ds name is a shortened version of a long name (along the lines of Chris, not Christopher) the school started writing the long version on everything and I had to point out that wasn't his name.

Now all the parents use it. He had loads of Christmas cards to a different name to what he has and party invites. I just grit my teeth but it is annoying. That's not his name. Not the parents fault, though.

Some people don't mind shortened versions some people do.

I would have just wrote her name.

KoalaDownUnder · 31/01/2016 08:32

So her name is, say, Lily-May-Evie and you just wrote Lily-May? Confused

I don't think she needed to be rude about it. Probably going to be par for the course with three hyphenated names.

NightWanderer · 31/01/2016 08:32

Um, the OP said it was an accident. I accidentally spelled DD's best friend's name wrong the other day. I was kicking myself afterwards.

Original poster
Confusedmomma · 31/01/2016 08:34

I didn't purposely not put her name , I just was in a hurry wrote 4 L-Ms and realised once invites had been written and sealed. I genuinley didn't think she would kick up a stink.

OP posts:
Original poster
Confusedmomma · 31/01/2016 08:35

Lilly-Mae-Elizabeth too be exact so not the shortest off names

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/01/2016 08:35

I don't think I'd indulge her. If she thought it wasn't for her, surely she'd have said "we've ended up with someone else's invitation - here it is"?

99percentchocolate · 31/01/2016 08:38

DD's name can be spelt one of three ways - we chose the second more common spelling because it looked better with our surname. Even family get it wrong by accident sometimes. I never say anything as it's unnecessary. They often realise later and feel mortified - no need to rub salt in the wound. As far as I'm concerned it was our decision to go for the other spelling - you deal with it. Life is too short to be offended.
If she is really riled then apologise, do another invitation, and then chalk her up as one to avoid.

Birdsgottafly · 31/01/2016 08:39

Perhaps the child, thinks that she hasn't really been invited and got upset?

I think out of respect, you should always try to get someone's name right.

KoalaDownUnder · 31/01/2016 08:41

That is a ridiculous name. (Sorry, but it is.)

She's a drama queen. Who demands a 'new invitation', fgs?

I'd ignore her. She can either rsvp as normal, and come to the party, or not.

Birdsgottafly · 31/01/2016 08:41

Also, it's not the Mother that will miss out, but the child. I don't understand why you wouldn't give them an invite (which children love to get and often keep), with their name on .

Mouthfulofquiz · 31/01/2016 08:42

Oh blimey. Well, if she will choose the longest hypenated first name ever then what does she realistically expect?? 3 names FGS!
When the kid gets older, she'll just get called Lily anyway!

IndomitabIe · 31/01/2016 08:43

If the mother was that concerned about 'respect' and 'manners', she would have spoken to the OP with more of those things rather than stropping off dramatically.

Leave it, OP. The woman obviously knew the invitation was for her special-snowflake daughter and is being an arse deliberately. Leave them to it. If they want to come to the party they will.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 31/01/2016 08:43

She said LME is OK to come to the party but still wants another invite addressed correctly?

I wouldn't bother.

KERALA1 · 31/01/2016 08:44

Mad hilarious verruca salt behaviour!

PlumpFiction · 31/01/2016 08:45

It's unfortunate that you missed off the last part of her name but this other mum is not handling it appropriately. She's being rude about it.

Next time you see her, say that invitation was intended for her daughter, sorry in your haste you missed part of her name. Say you don't have any spare invitations left but if she would like to give you back the one she's got you will write Elizabeth on it. Do it right there in the playground and hand it back to her, hopefully she will realise how petty she's been and not pull that kind of crap again.

zen1980 · 31/01/2016 08:46

Id leave it now she's walked off an if anything comes up again say you don't have any invites left. The school ground antics from the parents makes my blood boil, why can't people just let life be life. My child always has her name spelt wrong but id never make a parent it another child re write something. They should be grateful the childs invited in the first place! Wink

BumpTheElephant · 31/01/2016 08:47

I'd just leave it op. Yanbu.
You've given her an invitation, the mother sounds hard work.

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 31/01/2016 08:48

L-M-E is a ridiculous name! And this is coming from someone who has a hyphenated first name (just double barrelled not tripled tho).

The mother is being a pita.

You invited her daughter. End of. She doesn't need another invite. If it bothered the mum that much she could have added the Elizabeth herself.

I'm frequently called and have mail etc just to my first name. Just par for the course!

Grr - this mother has annoyed me Wink

IndomitabIe · 31/01/2016 08:50

I'm so petty I'd be making other mistakes for this child's name for the rest of her school career. Every Christmas card or invitation, is it Lilee-Mae-Elizabeth, or Lilly-May-E?

Don't be like me though. Be a grown up.

QuietWhenReading · 31/01/2016 08:50

Hmmm. Is it possible that the child is upset about it? Perhaps the child didn't recognise it as an invitation for her.

I understand that it's a pain, and perhaps the mother is being precious but it would take you 30 seconds to write out another invite so what's the big deal?

RaeSkywalker · 31/01/2016 08:55

I have a hyphenated name. It has never bothered me or my parents when it gets shortened. I've never met anyone with s triple barrelled name before!

I think YANBU. Would it upset your child if L-M-E wasn't there? If not then just leave it.

... Out of interest is the child called L-M-E at school, by her friends?

Original poster
Confusedmomma · 31/01/2016 08:59

No the mothers just a twit. The child will call herself Lilly-Mae and the mum will say that's not your name say it properly! It was a mistake , but it's like I said I have a double name and I can't remember the last time I was called by my full name , I don't have a problem with my name shortened neither did my mum. Surely she can't expect people to refer to her as L-M-E for the rest of her life. I don't know me personally I think she was pathetic. Just wanted other opinions.

OP posts:
Heatherplant · 31/01/2016 08:59

Reassure the mum the invite is for her daughter and leave it at that. If she's being genuine in not knowing if her daughter had the wrong invite then it's sorted with you confirming it is the right invite and if she's just being a huge massive drama llama you aren't feeding the drama by giving a second invite. I speak as someone with a name people seem to be totally unable to spell or pronounce!