Too be annoyed at this parent...

[Confusedmomma]

So I'm arranging a birthday party , and in my childs class there are 4 child with the same hyphenated name L-M. Except one of the 4 her mother decided she was a special snowflake and her first name is 3 names all hyphenated L-M-E.
So as I'm writing the invites in a rush I accidentally write them all as L-M , no big deal right?
Well on Friday , the mother pulls me and says my child would attend your childs party but it seems you've given us the wrong invite. It's says L-M not L-M-E , and I'd like an invite with her correct name on and just walks off. Is it me or is she being a bit dramatic? I have a double name and have no problem having my name shortened , my mother never did. Am I right too be a bit annoyed or was I wrong for not putting her daughters full name?

[HPsauciness]

We don't have class lists given to us, so no actual way of knowing how children's names are spelled. That means having a go, getting it wrong, relying on your child (who probably can't spell it) and so on.

My dd has a name with two common spellings, it is often spelled the 'wrong' version, but why would we care?

I have sat there pondering over 'Gemma/Jemma' 'Rachel/Rachael' type names so many times, there's no way to get it right is there, unless you have a class list typed out for you?

[contrary13]

YANBU... but, I can also see the other mum's POV (apart from not allowing her DD to shorten her own name!).

My son has the longer version of a name, which also has a perfectly legitimate shorter version. The shorter version's the more commonly used version - but my DD named my DS and preferred the longer version for reasons too long and complicated to go into. My son has never been known by the shorter version of this name. In his class, was another little boy whose name was the shorter version of this name. Neither version of this name are particularly commonly used, statistically speaking. My son and this other little boy were the only two in the entire school (nursery all the way up to Yr 6) to have this name, and now my son is the only one. I still don't understand the logic of having them both in the same class, but can only presume that it made sense to whoever decides these things.

Whenever party invites were handed out, my son would always get one addressed to the shorter version of his name. Which then meant I had to clarify with the inviting parent if they'd intended to invite my son, or if the invite ought to have been given to the little boy with the shorter version of the name. Every time, they'd go "oh, no... that's your son's invite!" and "of course we want him to come to DC's party!"... but it was awkward for all of us, and I couldn't help but wonder if they were simply being polite and hadn't intended to invite my son at all (his school has never done the "whole class invites" thing which a lot seem to). Especially as every invite which he's been given since the little boy with the shorter version of his name left the school, has had his actual name on!

So, YANBU to feel a little "eh?!" about the mother having approached you, but neither was she to have wanted to make sure that her child was actually invited.

[littleleftie]

No, I wouldn't bother reissuing the invitation.

Tell her it's a sustainability issue

Poor kid lumbered with being a special snowflake.

[KittyLovesPaintingOhYes]

twowrongs I have a Catherine too, shortened to Kitty since she was born guess what she likes doing and I forget what her 'proper' name is sometimes, she was even registered for school as Kitty.

I guess L-M-E's mum is a bit defensive, as who would come out with that mouthfull without prompting?

Frankly I would be happy with Oi You on a party invite, as long as she gets one!

[OhMrBadger]

How were the invites given out? Did you/your DD hand them out or did the teacher do it? If it was the latter, perhaps other invites/letters have come home that were meant for one of the other L-Ms and the DD has been upset to realise she's not been invited to something?? I know I'd be embarrassed to have to hand over a incorrectly addressed invite to another child, knowing my DC hadn't been invited. Perhaps this is what she thought had happened, then reAlised it was just an omission, felt a fool and got all defensive??

I dunno. In hindsight it just seems so over the top that I'm trying to rationalise her behaviour. I think it's happened before and she's all worked up about it. Perhaps you'll get an apology tomorrow?

[Confusedmomma]

Me and my LO handed them out personally on Thursday she thanked me , then I get that response on the Friday. So she knew it was for her child.

[JellyTotCat]

So the teachers have to call her Lily-Mae-Elizabeth all the time? What a mouthful. A triple barrelled first name is unusual.

[LizzieMacQueen]

She will have thought you were having a dig at her choice of name and was feeling defensive (as she will countless of times over the girl's childhood).

Be the bigger person and re-write an invite.

[JessieMcJessie]

YANBU- she is being ridiculously precious. I wouldn't worry though, her rage about the invitation will pale into insignificance when she finds out you've been slagging her off on the Internet.

[Confusedmomma]

I'm not ripping open an envelope going out of my way to go to the party place to pay for an extra invite and envelope so all the children have the same invites. I find it ironic she demands her child be called L-M-E but yet calls me a shortened version of my first name. Might start demanding she double name. Well she has been outed because I'm sure she's not the only L-M-E ever , I never gave her surname I haven't gave what area I am from.

[Confusedmomma]

Not been outed* oopsie fat fingers

[hollyisalovelyname]

OP that mother sounds mad
A bit Hyacinth Bucket.
Don't indulge her.

[TrinityForce]

Oh give over.

So what if the kids mother reads this? She was being ridiculous.

[Sometimesithinkimbonkers]

I'd just ignore her!!!! I've got a friend and her DD is Cleo Mai.... She regularly come back with invites for Chloe May!!!! We giggle .... Now I write this on her DD invites too!!!
Your mate is a drama lama!!!!

[PersephonePitstop]

I agree that you should ask for the invitation back so that you can add Elizabeth to it.

[clam]

The mother has been indescribably rude and over my dead body would she be getting a new invitation with the correct name on it.

Sounds as though it's a real sore point for her, however. But that's the trouble with giving a bloody silly lengthy name that others are going to struggle with.

[RabbitSaysWoof]

Unless she is your dd's best friend or she will be missed at the party I would leave it, and assume the kids not coming.
I don't pander to precious people unless they are an employer I wouldn't even appease that shit for a family member.

[paxillin]

Refuse to answer her unless she calls you by full name and accolades, Ms Confusedmomma, BA, MSc, Holder of Asa swimming proficiency certificate in gold, Girlguiding Baden-Powell Award and Grade 6 piano.

[Crazypetlady]

YANBU op poor child, nothing wrong with names individually but to ask for them to all be used is ridiculous. I wonder if her dd will hate the name or be on mn in twenty years time moaning people shorten it.

[Youarentkiddingme]

I wouldn't even bat an eyelid TBH. I'd just get your DD to confirm that in fact the invite was for LME and confirm she's coming.

My DS has a very common name. It's timeless but has 2 spellings. (Think Matthew and Mathew). His is the usual for an English version spelling. I've had it spelt wrong numerous times over the years including from teachers and family members!

The most memorable time, and we both laughed hard for a while over it, was the teacher who write "Xname needs to take time and care when writing he ensure he spells the high frequency words correctly". She'd spelt Xname wrong

My name is shortened. Everyone knows me as my nn who has met me since school, very few of those know my actual full name. I'd be annoyed at my mum if she returned an invite because ep eons didn't write my birth name on their and wrote the name I chose to refer to myself as.