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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Watching someone on a web cam

126 replies

Iliketoparrty · 24/12/2015 19:50

Last night I watched a friends 9month old as she was going out. I know she wouldn't be back until late 3/4am so agreed to stay at her house over night.

Friend usually cosleeps with baby but I didn't feel comfortable with doing so, so I agreed to sleep in the same room as the baby instead. Everything went fine, the baby slept through and was easy.

This morning I was telling friend about how we got on, baby eating sleeping etc when she said "I know I watched you on the baby monitor from my phone" I was HmmConfused. She then said " I didn't know you have a tattoo". I have one on my hip.

I didn't know she had a web enabled baby monitor and would never had slept in her room had I known. I'm a wriggly sleeper and can often kick off blankets and tussle my clothes.

I said to her I thought it was odd she was watching and that she could see me as well as the baby. I would have thought the camera would focus on the baby.

She said no I like to watch whoever is looking after baby as well. She said she has a few other cameras around the house as well "just encase".

I told her I didn't like being watched and I wouldn't babysit at her house anymore.

She said IWBU as this is " what any mummy would do"

Really? AIBU?

OP posts:
AllChangeLife · 24/12/2015 19:52

That is fucking odd. How dare she do that and not tell you!

GabiSolis · 24/12/2015 19:53

Absolutely unacceptable for her to do this without telling you. Friendship would be over for me tbh.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 24/12/2015 19:53

That is really creepy.

AllChangeLife · 24/12/2015 19:53

Ps. Not any mummy would do this. In case you didn't get that from the fucking odd bit ;-)

VinylScratch · 24/12/2015 19:53

She is a nutjob.

yorkshapudding · 24/12/2015 19:54

YANBU. This is not "what any mummy would do" and, in your position I would feel extremely uncomfortable.

Redglitter · 24/12/2015 19:54

That's so out of order. Most definitely not normal. What a shocking invasion of your privacy. I wouldn't step foot in hee house again

BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley · 24/12/2015 19:55

Whoaaah. Fucking odd as hell. I'd be livid.

Fugghetaboutit · 24/12/2015 19:57

Creepy as hell! She should've told you beforehand and given you a choice. I would feel violated

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 24/12/2015 19:57

Weird. Does she have anxiety problems?

goodnightdarthvader1 · 24/12/2015 19:57

She should have told you before hand if she wanted to do that, and let you decide if you were comfortable being watched. Creepy as fuck.

FlatOnTheHill · 24/12/2015 19:57

Bloody hell. You joking. I would find that odd to tell you after you have babysat. She could have mentioned it before. Im sure some posters will say something along the lines of. If you have nothing to hide whats the problem!
I wouldnt babysit again. Would feel really uncomfortable being watched. How long have you known friend? Are you close?

MrsWembley · 24/12/2015 19:58

Jesus Christ, that's appalling! Shock

I would be livid if a friend thought that would be okay with me!! What a horrible invasion of privacy!!! Tell her no, it's not what any mummy would do, at all!!

DrRanjsRightEyebrow · 24/12/2015 19:58

Wow. That's batshit crazy. I would be deeply uncomfortable with that and can't believe she thinks that's normal! Fair enough if it's just on the crib but to actually say she likes to watch the sitter? Creepy as fuck.

Needtobebetter · 24/12/2015 19:58

The camera thing is weird, the not telling you is unforgivable. You should have been given the choice but she's behaved as if she wanted to catch you out. I'd be leaving that friendship behind and warning any other friends who might end up babysitting.

The is absolutely not what any mummy would do, I have 2 DC and this has never even crossed my mind.

Weirdo. Run for the hills.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 24/12/2015 19:59

Also she is clearly saying she doesn't trust you so is keeping an eye on you.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/12/2015 20:00

Deeply weird. Fine to have a baby cam, not fine not to tell someone in your house. I wouldn't be friends any more.

IguanaTail · 24/12/2015 20:02

Appalling!! Creepy as hell.

Windingstreamswithoutends · 24/12/2015 20:03

Utterly utterly weird.

MrFMercury · 24/12/2015 20:06

She obviously trusts you you to look after her child for quite a long time or she doesn't. It sounds horribly invasive and it'd be the end of the friendship.

LeaLeander · 24/12/2015 20:08

Deal breaker, friendship breaker.

OddSocksHighHeels · 24/12/2015 20:10

Creepy. As. Fuck.

That's not acceptable at all.

Original poster
Iliketoparrty · 24/12/2015 20:10

She has previously had issues with letting people look after the baby and when baby was first born she would let anyone (even the father hold the baby).

I do get her needing to male sure baby is ok. My DS when she had her 1st would get me to text a photo of my niece when she was sleeping so I kind of get it...

I'm not happy about being watched without my knowledge or consent. What did she think I would do to her child? Xmas Angry

I'm ment to be babysitting next week but I'm not sure I want to even if it is at my house. She obviously doesn't trust me.Xmas Sad

OP posts:
ThomasRichard · 24/12/2015 20:11

No, that is absolutely unacceptable. She should at the very least have told you so that you could get changed in private and worn pyjamas!

OddSocksHighHeels · 24/12/2015 20:13

No I wouldn't babysit again. She's completely violated boundaries.