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AIBU?

Facebook and birth announcements

85 replies

GrinAndTonic · 15/10/2015 11:35

My DB and SIL were having DC2 today via planned c-section.

I heard nothing all morning and assumed it was moved to the afternoon.
At 3pm today a friend messaged me to say congratulations on the birth of my nephew. Yep, I found out that my nephew was born at 8:30am and the news was posted on FB first. I found out from someone I wasn't related to.

My DM had been up to the hospital and seen everyone and also posted on FB but didn't even call me.

I have received a message from SIL asking when I am visiting as she wants the gift I have bought (a sling - DM told her what it was).

I feel so disappointed in the manner that I found out. I understand that this is a special and difficult time (due to the cesarean) but how hard is it for DB to text? If you can Facebook you can text/call.

So AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

trollkonor · 15/10/2015 11:37

Are you not connected with them on FB?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/10/2015 11:37

It's the parents decision on how to announce the birth of their child. Hurtful for you but they are well within their rights.

LittleRedSparke · 15/10/2015 11:41

Sadly this is the way of the world now, people now have the option to share their news in a way they want to, and if that means they pop it on FB so they can tell most people in the shortest way then it is up to them

YANBU to be a little upset that you didnt get a call, but YABU to 'police' how they deal with their own announcement

GrinAndTonic · 15/10/2015 11:42

I was working and don't check fb during that time.

I understand it is their decision but finding out hours after a random school friend from ten years ago they haven't spoken to in eight years is a bit of a kick in the teeth.

I expected this behaviour from SIL but not from DB.

OP posts:

Wigglebummunch31 · 15/10/2015 11:43

It's shit, I first saw my Niece on FB. The last I had heard from my Sisters boyfriend was that she was rushed in for an emergency cesarean and it was touch and go. I waited by that fucking phone all morning then saw her best friends had visited and put pics on FB. No issue with them visiting first as they are like her family but to put pics on FB was shit.

VimFuego101 · 15/10/2015 11:43

If you don't have fb you probably should have explicitly asked someone to let you know. They probably assumed that was the quickest way to share the news and didn't want to spend the morning sending texts/ making phone calls.

DonkeyOaty · 15/10/2015 11:48

Fraid it is the modern way.

But yeah, up to new parents to tell how they like.

DoneCaring · 15/10/2015 11:48

It is a crappy way to find out, but best not not say anything. Ultimately this is their 'moment' and you have to bite your lip. No one will thank you for voicing your annoyance at a time like this. Maybe, in a few months time you could very quietly mention to your brother that you were a bit hurt at how you found out.

lashawn · 15/10/2015 11:49

I think it's your DM who is at fault for not letting you know, not your DB and SIL. It's her I would be upset at.

When DD was born, DH rang both sets of parents to let them know. They then passed on the news to our siblings. I announced her arrival on FB a couple of hours later.

GrinAndTonic · 15/10/2015 11:49

I have fb but I cant check it during work hours.

I've never specifically asked my Dsis or Dbro to tell me when their DC's were born before. They always rang or text to let family members know everyone was ok.

I have no issue with announcing it on fb but just that I found out third hand. It's not the next door neighbours kid but my nephew.

OP posts:

schokolade · 15/10/2015 11:50

I understand it's disappointing grin. But try to get past the feeling. They've just gone through quite an ordeal and are obviously pretty busy with their new DC. Really, they shouldn't be worrying about contacting everyone at this time. They did well to even put it on Facebook if you ask me.

Go and enjoy meeting your new DO

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/10/2015 11:51

Why not just focus on the positive? You have a nephew and the birth went well. Don't get annoyed by something you can't change. It should be a happy day, regardless of how you found out.

GrinAndTonic · 15/10/2015 11:52

Oh I won't be saying anything. SIL is an attention seeking drama queen at the best of times. I haven't said anything for eight years and I'm not starting now.

I've had words with DM but that went in one ear and out the other.

Oh well, I guess I'm still slightly old fashioned when it comes to some things.

OP posts:

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/10/2015 11:54

Oh come on op! Be nice! Your sil isn't being an 'attention seeking drama queen' here. You are the one complaining. She's probably blissfully unaware of everything apart from her baby. Sounds like you're looking for a reason to bitch about her now.

schokolade · 15/10/2015 11:56

I have to say that I (gently) agree grin. SIL certainly hasn't planned this to generate drama...

myotherusernameisbetter · 15/10/2015 12:02

If you are friends with them on FB and you didn't specifically ask them to let you know separately then you are BU. It's not their fault that you don't check FB and tbh if I was waiting for news and didn't get it, I think I would have popped out at lunch break and checked FB just in case.

AliceInUnderpants · 15/10/2015 12:02

Your attitude to your SIL is possibly why she (or your brother) didn't contact you directly.

You have a lovely new nephew. Enjoy it and don't make drama out of nothing.

lashawn · 15/10/2015 12:02

I don't think your SIL is the one being the attention seeking drama queen in this scenario

Notimefortossers · 15/10/2015 12:03

I think you're being silly. If you can watch your phone like a hawk waiting for news, you can watch fb too. When my SIL was in having my niece I was also at work and just left a tab open on my screen with fb open so I could check it intermittently. Was desperate to see a photo and glad when someone posted one. In this day and age it's pretty obvious that people put their news there. Sad but true.
Of course people are not obligated to actually have a fb account and I admire people that don't! In that instance I would agree with Vim that you should remind them you don't have an account and please could someone let you know. They've just had a baby - you being told is not their first concern right now!

specialsubject · 15/10/2015 12:07

so the first message is 'gimme gimme gimme'?

that's your major problem!

ChipsandGuac · 15/10/2015 12:07

My kids were all born pre FB and I just called my mum and told her to let everyone else know. I didn't call/text any of my siblings until much later and I'm really close to all of them. Is putting it on FB really that much different?

saucony · 15/10/2015 12:10

You're being silly. It's the modern way of avoiding lots of texts and phone calls.

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MidnightRed · 15/10/2015 12:10

Oh come on OP. Really, in the nicest possible way, this isn't about you. It's their baby and they have every right to announce the news however they want. It's not their fault you didn't check FB is it? Stop attempting to make the birth of their baby all about you. I can only see one attention seeking drama llama on this thread and it ain't your SIL.

BreeVDKamp · 15/10/2015 12:12

I find that really bizarre and I'd be

But then, we don't have Facebook so people actually had to find out about DS by other means (can you imagine??!!).

I rather enjoyed ringing around everyone with the news.

BreeVDKamp · 15/10/2015 12:13

It's pretty rude to ask for a gift before you've even told the giver the baby is born.

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