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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daily posts of baby on FB

283 replies

shebird · 22/07/2015 16:46

A family member had a baby 6 months ago. Since the day baby was born she posts at least 3 photos and sometimes videos of baby together with updates on baby's weight, sleep and how much she's has expressed Hmm I thought this might have dwindled out as baby got older but it's not looking likely.

I'm aware that I can hide her posts and I am not having a moan about how annoying I find FB. My concern is for the child's privacy. We are not talking the odd cute photo here, pretty much all of this child's life to date has been documented on FB. Do children not have a right to have everything shared online or AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
shebird · 22/07/2015 16:48

Or rather a right not to have everything shared online

OP posts:
maggieryan · 22/07/2015 16:50

No I totally agree with you. None knows what way the future is going or where those pictures and details end up. I am very cautious and rarely post a picture and my settings are private. Can't believe the oubt of people who post details and its not private.. Mad!!

ApocalypseThen · 22/07/2015 16:50

Well it's hard to imagine this data being used for nefarious ends. It's hardly the baby's credit card details.

Seriouslyffs · 22/07/2015 16:52

Haha bollocks you're concerned about privacy. Hide the updates

Original poster
shebird · 22/07/2015 17:02

Why is it bollocks that I am concerned about privacy Confused I just struggle to understand why and I don't think it is fair on the child if it continues daily as they grow up. That is all.

OP posts:
LST · 22/07/2015 17:04

I put loads of my kids photos on fb. These posts she is putting up can in future be deleted and how do you know her fb isn't private?

Goshthatsspicy · 22/07/2015 17:12

I don't get the privacy thing either. My page is set to private/friends only, my pictures are uploaded as such.
Confused

LokiBear · 22/07/2015 17:17

I think you need to remember that you aren't necessarily the intended audience for these posts. I regularly post pictures of my dd, however, my grandparents live abroad. My grandad was too ill to travel in the 10 years or so before he died. We didn't have the money to visit when dd was a baby so those pictures were all he had of dd. Since he died, they cheer my nan up. My mum only reads Facebook to see if there is a new picture of dd. I think people who post everything about their dcs are annoying too. I once un-followed someone after three weeks of daily potty training updates and public declarations of congratulations to a 2 year old for staying dry. I understand the annoyance. However, in the very near future I will post a picture of DD's first day at school. Some people will think it ridiculous, but, it isn't for them. It is for my nan, my mum, my mil, my brothers, sils, my gmil. All of whom are interested in seeing that pic and will want to see. Anyone who is offended just needs to hide or unfriend me. I take no offence Smile.

Bullshitbingo · 22/07/2015 17:22

My parents live abroad too. I email them photos and videos of the kids.

Privacy settings are irrelevant, once on the internet and shared with others, you have lost control of that information and it is forever public. You cannot know the future impact of this, and anyone who thinks it's silly to worry about is being naive. Just because we can't immediately name the negative consequences doesn't mean there won't be any.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 22/07/2015 17:23

If you were truly concerned about the privacy of the child involved, you'd have been concerned from day 1. The real issue here is that it's 6 months in and you're still seeing daily posts and it's irritating you.

Unfollow or defriend or ignore. But don't make some song and dance about the child's privacy when that is clearly not the issue here.

Original poster
shebird · 22/07/2015 17:23

It's not just about privacy with regard to photos but privacy to grow up without everything about your personal stuff being shared. I would not be happy to share my weight, my bowl movements, and medical issues on FB and I would certainly be annoyed if anyone did.

OP posts:
Goshthatsspicy · 22/07/2015 17:25

But by the same token, there might not be any ramifications...

Baffledmumtoday · 22/07/2015 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

caravanista13 · 22/07/2015 17:25

Wouldn't be bothered about the privacy but bowl movements sound painful!

Goshthatsspicy · 22/07/2015 17:28

If you have fine tuned your audience, then sharing those mundane facts isn't any different to sharing it over the garden fence!
If you have an open page, or blog with your child in it - then l feel you are more exposed.

LokiBear · 22/07/2015 17:30

I Facebook my nan every day. She doesn't really use email, but loves Facebook. My point remains, the op should hide the annoying relative. Regarding privacy, I actually agree that it is unfair to the child to have its every bowel movement documented. People do need to be careful with what they post and make sure privacy settings are set to the highest setting.

FluffyBumOnTheRun · 22/07/2015 17:33

I took all pics of my ds off FB, I was in a few baby clothing groups and it came to light someone had been taking screen shots of people kids and using them to make fake profiles. Not sure why, scammers maybe but it made me realise how easy it is to steal pics. My Profile pic is only me now (as that can never be private)

Original poster
shebird · 22/07/2015 17:35

As stated before Alice I was not concerned at the beginning as I assumed this was excited mum sharing details of new baby. I thought things would become less frequent but this has not happened, they are continuos and daily.
Loki I also have family abroad and understand how nice it is to share photos and news. I personally prefer to do this by email but that's mostly because these family members do not use FB so the daily updates are not for their benefit. I have no issues with sharing exciting events or news. Its the daily blog documenting a child's life that I have issue with.

OP posts:
AuntyMag10 · 22/07/2015 17:40

That's her child. What makes you think you can say to her don't do it?
If you are really that troubled by this let her know what you think, but be prepared for her to not be interested.

Goshthatsspicy · 22/07/2015 17:43

I don't think a daily blog is any different to an occasional picture.
I think it might be winding you up. That is okay too, just hide her for a few months Wink

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 22/07/2015 17:43

The point I'm trying to make is that if this was just a concern about privacy, you'd have been concerned from the very beginning. This right here: I thought things would become less frequent but this has not happened, they are continuos and daily. That pretty much sums up that it's simply because you don't want to see the daily posts, but are dressing it up as a concern for privacy.

You have options. Unfollow. Ignore.

Mrsjayy · 22/07/2015 17:56

I kind of agree with you social media can be a curse everylittle detail picture is online different strokes i suppose it just seems the norm these days.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/07/2015 18:00

Don't be such a misery guts Grin

She's excited about being a mom and is carried away in the loveliness of it. Instead of being irritated by it just fake it for what it is: a mom who's in love with her baby and wants the whole of the FB world to know it Grin Grin

I love hearing about babies Grin

Noodledoodledoo · 22/07/2015 18:08

I have a friend who does the same - am not fussed about the privacy thats her call. It is annoying to see pictures everyday and this friend makes sure she adds a picture every day and has done since day 1 - has said she is using it as a diary as such of her DC life. I hoped it would die down after a year - it hasn't in fact it got worse as she had another one!! So now we get double - this led me to hide her.

I could understand if grandparents weren't near by but they are - they feature in a lot of the pictures!

For the past 18 months I know nothing about what she has done - just all about bubba which is lovely but has made me very careful not to bore people with pictures of my little one and they are not the only thing I mention!

Florin · 22/07/2015 18:15

I have a friend like this. We all know exactly what time her daughter goes down for a nap and how much she has eaten everyday and she is currently potty training so we know how that is going too. She has had another baby now and is suddenly majorly pro breastfeeding. I am really glad it has worked for her this time but I do not need to see a picture of her breastfeeding every day to prove it. There are so many pictures of her kids, her house is always a tip in the background so I am amazed she posts them, I would be far too embarrassed.

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