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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked that he has a kid?

120 replies

WanderWomble · 14/06/2015 21:30

A friend of a friend is a professional racing driver. I've followed his career on and off and even been to watch him race a few times.

I found out yesterday that he has a kid (a son). He's never mentioned having a son in the four or five years I've known him and it's blowing my mind. I think it's wonderful- I bet he's a great dad and his son has a wonderful life.

I just can't wrap my head around the fact and I feel kinda silly. Brain keeps going 'he has a kid?! It's just so weird to me because I've never seen him as a Dad before now. AIBU?

OP posts:
PeppermintCrayon · 14/06/2015 21:32

He's a friend of a friend. Why would he mention it? Why is it weird? Because he's a racing driver?

YABU and frankly a bit weird.

pictish · 14/06/2015 21:35

Yes yabu. There's nothing for you to have to wrap your head around. It doesn't concern you.

Original poster
WanderWomble · 14/06/2015 21:36

We're actually a pretty tight group these days. :) We interact outside of the racing world too.

It's weird to me because I talk about my daughter a lot, even just in passing. I think most parents do.

Like I said, I think it's wonderful that he has a son and I bet he's a fantastic dad.

OP posts:
NotGoingOut17 · 14/06/2015 21:37

Yep, bit of a strange reaction to finding out something about a friend of a friend. Do you have a crush on him OP?

Also, strange Q to ask on an internet forum - we don't know him so won't see him having a child as shocking, perhaps we'd understand more if we knew him as someone who didn't seem like a 'children' kind of person. Maybe a Q for people in real life? There are people in my life who i'd be shocked to find out had children but i wouldn't expect people on the internet to be able to comment on why I'd find it strange...

LynetteScavo · 14/06/2015 21:37

So a friend of a friend has a child...you are finding this difficult to process know you know.

YABU to be shocked.

Confused
pictish · 14/06/2015 21:38

You sound...starstruck?

Original poster
WanderWomble · 14/06/2015 21:39

pictish, he bought my daughter christmas and birthday presents the last two years. I feel bad now because I didn't get his son anything and I would have loved to.

I really shouldn't have put a friend of a friend- yes he started out that but now thinking about it we're friends in our own right. Sorry for any confusion. :)

OP posts:
TommySlimfigure · 14/06/2015 21:39

He might be a good father, he might not be. How can you say that you bet he is!!

Are you still at that stage of life where you can only contemplate a romantic relaitonship with somebody if they have a complete blank canvas. Ie, no xh, no child.

I agree with other posters, I wouldn't necessarily mention my children to a friend of a friend, although, I think it would come up over the course of five years. How regularly do you see this man?

LynetteScavo · 14/06/2015 21:40

A friend of a friend is a professional racing driver. I've followed his career on and off and even been to watch him race a few times. But you're also a pretty tight group.

Which is it?

If you'd just posted a friend or an acquaintance has a child they'd never mentioned it would make more sense.

paxtecum · 14/06/2015 21:41

I'm thinking he may not be a great Dad if he's never mentioned his child.

TommySlimfigure · 14/06/2015 21:41

Well, in light of the fact that you ARE friends and he bought your own daughters presents, it is an odd detail to hold back. And still, you found out from somebody else, not through him.

I wouldn't go racing to assume he's a great father.

minionmadness · 14/06/2015 21:43

YABU...

Incidentally what was the point of saying he was a "professional racing driver" Confused

DinosaursRoar · 14/06/2015 21:44

Hmm, I think it would be weird if I was friends with someone for years and they never mentioned they had DCs, even when I was talking about mine, not even a "oh yes, I remember going through that stage" or "oh we've got all that to come!"

Oddly, I wouldn't think he was a good dad if his DS isn't on his mind much, to never mention him seems like he doesn't think about him much, particularly if he's talking to someone who is talking about their DCs.

Glitoris · 14/06/2015 21:45

How present a father is he in reality?If he has never once mentioned him...even when the subject of children is brought up...then If I was to jump to any conclusion then it would be to think that they aren't in close contact.I don't know how you're suddenly betting that he's a great Dad at all ,or that his child has a great life?? Confused

You sound like you have a crush that has passed on to the 'imagining a blended family' fantasy ...am I a million miles off?

CheekyNandos · 14/06/2015 21:45

I sort of get where you're coming from OP and no, you're not necessarily BU.

Original poster
WanderWomble · 14/06/2015 21:47

We both travel a lot so see each other once a month or so? (In person- we text/email/whatever.)

TommySlimfigure- I'm married so nope, not looking for a relationship past the friends stage. (And hubby has kids from another marriage.)

LynetteScavo- motor racing really isn't my thing, so I don't follow his career in minute detail. I get the highlights, if you see what I mean?

I want to be clear that I don't mean this thread in a bad or mean spirited way- I guess I'm just used to parents talking about their children. Just this morning I was talking to the cashier (who I don't know from Adam) in the garage about her daughter.

OP posts:
Original poster
WanderWomble · 14/06/2015 21:51

DinosaursRoar- that's what I mean. Stuff like kids normally comes up in conversation, y'know?

OP posts:
Haffdonga · 14/06/2015 21:51

Your post sounds weird because you tell us all about his career first. Why? What's that got to do with anything? Sounds like showing off

If you had just said I have a friend who I've known quite well for over two years and he never mentioned that he had a child. Is that weird ? We'd agree YANBU.

Original poster
WanderWomble · 14/06/2015 21:54

I'm sorry, Haffdonga, it wasn't meant to be showing off or come across like that. I just just trying to set the stage, so to speak.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 14/06/2015 21:55

So to sum this up...

A friend of a friend has a child that you didn't know about

Yes?

And you're asking if you're being reasonable to be shocked?

Yes?

Errrrr yes YABVU.

Hellolemonade · 14/06/2015 21:56

You sound like you've got a massive crush on him.

Original poster
WanderWomble · 14/06/2015 21:57

You wouldn't find it strange that someone you've known for a while has a child and has never mentioned the fact?

OP posts:
Midorichan · 14/06/2015 21:57

I've found that some men don't bother mentioning their kid because they want to flirt freely, or whatever (seem available), to the women they know. For whatever reason. Sad. But sometimes, true.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/06/2015 21:59

I also cannot understand why you've told us his job. How is that relevant?

GayByrne · 14/06/2015 22:00

Are you telling us Jensen Button has a child, OP?