To ask what's the best response you've had on Mumsnet?

[Squirrel78]

Whether it be something that made you laugh out loud, a brilliant piece of advice or a good kick up the arse - am interested to know if one comment from a stranger can really make a difference.

The woof to you too lady was hilarious. Not really on point though as it wasn't a reply to me! Will find a link..

Best one I read this week was a thread about a woman not liking her husband ejaculating inside her (despite him having a vasectomy) someone replied 'It's semen not wheelie bin juice "

Oh how I laughed.

It wasn't supposed to be funny but my favourite was the helium thread

"Where can I buy helium to make my own birthday balloons?"

First page of posts:
"OH MY GOD THAT'S LIKE TOTALLY KILLING THE PLANET AND DOCTORS NEED HELIUM. WHEN YOU FILL A BALLOON BABIES DIE. SELFISH COW."

One of the best responses I've seen was on a thread about, (I think) someone moaning about swearing.

The reply "off you fuck then, cuntychops" just killed me. My phone even recognised it on autocorrect just then!

When an OP posted with a detailed story of how she'd seen two women in wheelchairs, arguing and wanting to fight each other in the town centre.

The first post was, "Are you in Scotland?"

It was so random that lots of people burst out laughing

It turned out the poster wasn't trying to be funny though. When she elaborated, it seems she had witnessed a similar thing with 2 ladies in wheelchairs wanting to slug it out in the town centre.

The woof to you too lady one I am thinking of I can't find but there's plenty. Hur hur hur.

God YES at the Are you in Scotland and OYF CC too.

I've only been here a few months, having been forced here after a rather lengthy ban being issued on the other site. It's bloody hilarious here and I'll be staying.

Leave the barstard!

I did. Life is much better now.

With out meaning to be a dick about it my 3yo dd relies on the MRI scanners to monitor her brain so that if she needs surgery again she can have it before lasting damage is caused.

Balloons are not the biggest users of helium but it does have an impact and there are other ways of getting 'up' balloons

Surely there must be a law against entering a strangers house and wanking into their washing basket?

Thread in chat a couple of days ago. Not really a laughing matter, it was just this turn of phrase that tickled me.

I mean, if there isn't a law there should be.

Best one I've just read:

So WTF is your question?

haha

I like 'Give your head a wobble woman'.

Is that you UCM?

After a name change fail.

I'm loving these responses and wish I'd seen these threads! Off you fuck then cuntychops! I'll be using that in RL now

Just asked for this to be deleted. They arent the real royal family.

The OP's second response in the thread. Still makes me chortle

My favourite one (on a thread which wasn't mine) was when someone said that they dropped a potato at a self service checkout during a bad day and screamed at it "fuck off then you spud cunt!" that was only a couple of days ago!

The woman in the doctors surgery calling her whiny toddler a 'whiny tinker' which came out as 'tiny wanker'.

I understand the helium problem, but that thread made me lol.

Oh the 'not the royal family' thread was wonderful. Did the OP ever brave it and come back?

Someone gave me a list of things to do in a thread yesterday, one of which was 'buy grip'. I liked that

I never remember. Stuff makes me laugh but I don't remember them. I do like 'off you fuck then cuntychops' that's brilliant.

Not to me but

'May her next poo be a hedgehog'

Just brilliant.

Oh but some good advice I got on here was when DS1 was very tiny, and I was having big problems with his father. 'Choose your battles, there will be many'. I still remember that to this day when dealing with ExP - has done me well so far.

I sniggered today when a poster, upon being berated for not replying quickly enough to someone else's comment, said "but then I don't sit around bashing F5 like a sealion"

"but then I don't sit around bashing F5 like a sealion" I have just proper laughed at this!

Me too, such a brilliant image!

"My yoni says noni".

If you haven't read the yoni massage thread you've missed a treat, it's in classics now. The above was just the best. Response. Ever.

After I outlined issues I had with inlaws visiting (because they're vile) and in response to someone who asked if dh could take the children to them, I explained that they have a horrible dog that bites and I wasn't confident about safety, some genius replied "it gets worse. Even the dog is a cunt".

I was right miserable and it was tonic, I laughed so hard I was nearly sick.