Before you post

[lunar1]

Are you aware of the unwritten rules?

Never talk about buying your child a pink toy, unless your child is a boy. Then he absolutely must have something pink and preferably a princess dress to go with it.

Do not make any spelling or grammatical errors. Your OP will be ignored, no matter how important the question until you have accepted your flogging for using to many exclamation marks.

You must have a full understanding of every allergy possible, anything that can contain these allergens and exactly how to treat them.

You must be up to date in all correct terminology and how people may identify themselves, anything less and you are an intolerant bigot.

You will need to LTB within 24 hrs of your op, otherwise you are ignoring advice people have spent time giving you, not to mention damaging your children by not immediately running for the hills without a plan.

You must have enough savings for any possible emergency, otherwise you are irresponsible and should have planned better.

You must have an in depth knowledge of every physical and mental health problem possible and be aware of exactly how to manage each one and how it might affect someone's life.

If you get a flaming you must return to your thread within ten minutes otherwise you have flounced and are ignoring well meaning advice.

almost forgot

Jilly2015. Is that you Katie Hopkins?? or Xenia

Report all crime immediately, but don't phone 999, phone the NON-EMERGENCY number. Even if the crime hasn't happened, is unlikely to happen, and you just have a hunch it might happen. REPORT IT.

However, you must NEVER, EVER, report benefit fraud. It's none of your business.

whether he made your tea slightly too hot or slightly too cold, the cold hard truth is that your relationship is unsalvagable

you must immediately LTB

Tracy, you mentioned benefits. You must hate all benefits and everyone who has ever received them. I bet you are a Tory voting DM reader!

Do not put "AIBU?" as the subject of your thread. Put a bloody actual clue to thread in it or I will come on your thread and write YABU even if you are lovely.

Thus:

"AIBU to love peach loo roll?" YANBU
"AIBU to streak across the office shouting "Tarara-boom-de-ay my knickers ran away?" YANBU

"AIBU?" YABU

A serious one here.

WIBU to be annoyed that Darth is Luke's father? Is a plot spoiler, if you're going to mention something that massive, please,
So many threads in here that spring spoilers on you, randomly discuss TMNT, someone mentions Leonardo Di Capricorn, oh he shouldn't have died in Titanic!

Aaaaah, I love you mumsnet!

Do not, under any circumstances, mention that you like alcohol, but especially not if you are contradicting somebody who believes that alcohol is the epitome of evil. You will be challenged to see if you can give up alcohol for 10 years, and told that if you can't, you have a problem with alcohol.

@ Leoardo Di Capricorn

it did make me laugh

but it is also an example of how you must alert the rest of the posters if you have picked up on a funny typo

you should never ever start a thread about anything that has been previously mentioned in the last 15 years.

you must advance search your problem or idea. then you need to cross-reference it with all the synonyms you can think of (best consult with your dictonary)

you understand this is necessary because long time posters need stimulation and can not cope with yet another thread about "what's your favourite sandwich filling"

it so

be more creative ffs!

Pretend that you hate being named as MN royalty and go to great lengths to be oh so self deprecating whilst simultaneously simpering slightly.

But then throw a hissy fit the moment anyone ever dares challenge you and rapidly show your true colours when someone isn't suitably deferential.

I pity supposed MN royalty. To gain the rank you must have to post constantly and daily. In which case why is your real life so empty? Secondly you must be massively over invested in your MN identity and genuinely care what a bunch of on line randoms think about you and your life.

They're more to be pitied than admired.

TruelyBadlyMeekly. Ooh You are brave. . The Mumafia will be taking notes.

I kinda agree op.
The pink for boys but not for girls is really weird.

Not brave at all theremylovely. Just a sensible adult woman. I am no more intimidated by MN royalty on here than I am by the teen queen bees at DD's school.

The jostling for position and the cultivation of quiches and the subtle back stabbing is identical. Some women never grow out of it.

Does the MN royalty thing exist anymore?

Thought that ended about 5 years ago. ( & if it does still exist I couldn't name any )

Vestiges of it still linger. A few of them still secretly clutch their tarnished crowns and tattered robes of state.

A few of them think that their longevity on mn gives their option extra weight and kudos.

Personally I am less likely to give credence to anyone, or their opinions, who chooses to spend huge quantities of their life on here.

To me that shows there is probably something slightly unhealthy about them and unhealthy about their life. Not ideal people to take advice from.

Well yes, can't argue with that. & you've made me laugh.

Can I name you on the next 'who's your favourite M'netter' thread?

Who pissed in your cornflakes?

You sound really disproportionately angry about this- it appears that you have spend inordinate amounts of time contemplaying this, I don't think I could possibly take anyone seriously who appears to be as bitter as you, for the excuse you appear to be using to justify your ire.

You

Gosh, that's a lot of hate for MNetters, I wonder why one would want to be online with people they despised.

You know I very nearly added a line about how it would only be a matter of minutes before someone accused me of bitterness or envy

But no. Really, really not either. Too old and sensible to envy or feel bitter about such a thing. Or to even really care if someone even believes the last sentence I have written.

I knew it MN can be so predictable

Ah well.

Are you Sarah Ferguson?

Lol

No idea who she is?

Just passing through. I pass through fairly regularly for a few days then off again. Some posters and some dynamics never change.