Before you post

[lunar1]

Are you aware of the unwritten rules?

Never talk about buying your child a pink toy, unless your child is a boy. Then he absolutely must have something pink and preferably a princess dress to go with it.

Do not make any spelling or grammatical errors. Your OP will be ignored, no matter how important the question until you have accepted your flogging for using to many exclamation marks.

You must have a full understanding of every allergy possible, anything that can contain these allergens and exactly how to treat them.

You must be up to date in all correct terminology and how people may identify themselves, anything less and you are an intolerant bigot.

You will need to LTB within 24 hrs of your op, otherwise you are ignoring advice people have spent time giving you, not to mention damaging your children by not immediately running for the hills without a plan.

You must have enough savings for any possible emergency, otherwise you are irresponsible and should have planned better.

You must have an in depth knowledge of every physical and mental health problem possible and be aware of exactly how to manage each one and how it might affect someone's life.

If you get a flaming you must return to your thread within ten minutes otherwise you have flounced and are ignoring well meaning advice.

Truly but experts the poster cannot name or find have said those 2 hours a day will stunt their development so in 20 years time they might do a non - STEM subject at university and gasp not work in the city! BECAUSE OF THOSE 2 HOURS!!!!
FFS it's total child abuse.

And lest we forget. If you admit to having employed a tutor to help your child prepare for the entrance exam to a selective school then you have BOUGHT your child more intelligence because actually your child is pribsbly not very bright hence them needing the tutor.

Furthermore you have selfishly and deliberately deprived a far more naturally intelligent child of a superior education purely because their parents couldn't afford a tutor.

As a result you are evil. And you hate all children. Even your own children in fact. If you really loved your own children you would sacrifice their education and pitch them into the local ailing comprehensive so they can experience the 'real world' and become 'a more rounded person' albeit with shit GCSE results

Are you mad fanjo

'proudly happy' on MN? With nary a secretly abusive DH or a child miserable at school to throw the wolves off your scent?

It's signing your own death warrant

LTB, go NC with your family, cut off your friends-none of thenm treat you right.
There, that's better-now you can spend all your time on here

Truly but on the other hand it's an excellent idea to pick their A levels for them based on mn advice not teachers, universities etc then use a tutor to help them get into university doing a subject they dislike.
Because that's never going to go utterly Tits up when they're living away from home with no tutor, no mummy structuring their time and hours of independent time to study said hated subject.

I mean, that is the perfect time for a tutor.

squit yeah, because it's child abuse to let your 8 year old spend 2 hours a day, in the sunshine, in a variety of splash pools with other lively 8 year olds, looked after by bubbly 20 year olds who never stop smiling. Followed by eating their choice of ice cream.

What sort of depraved, twisted bastard parent would put their child through such Hell???

It's called "accessible" toilet
not "disabled" toilet

if you give your child a bite of a baguette you are about to buy before paying for it is theft by consumption, you are the scum of the Earth and your child is destined to be a criminal

According to much of MN it's called " accessible to people with shopping" toilet

Def not getting into that one here though.

If you happen to have parents who are multi-millionaires and provide free childcare and regular monthly handouts of a grand each to all your siblings, in fact - no! - to the entire population of the town but have never once looked after your children or given you so much as a penny piece, then don't you dare utter the slightest murmuring about it being a little unfair: you are just so GRABBY!!! and ENTITLED!!!

Truly For goodness sake woman ICE CREAM CONTAINS SUGAR AND COWS MILK!! THE CONE CONTAINS GLUTEN!!
Faints clear away.

And don't forget. If you post quite a lengthy involved thread that (among many other things) briefly mentions something to do with either a disability or SENS then a lone ranter WILL ignore the rest of your lengthy post and fixate on the fact you didn't pay sufficient deference to said disability/SENs. Even though your post clearly wasn't about either of these things and you just briefly touched on them to give a bit of background.

Someone will fixate and fixate and froth at you to the point where you're frantically fighting a rear guard action and having to provide a DNA sample to prove you're not disabilist or hate people with SEN.

In just a few posts you can go from cheerfully chatting about a holiday destination to desperately asserting that you don't laugh and point at people in wheel chairs.

You are quite pathetic if you don't leave your 9 yo on their own in the house for an hour or two....

They can apparently prepare their own nutritious lunch during this time including artisan bread sun dried tomatoes and wild rocket.

Alright girls? Or should I say laydeez?

Don't start any threads ever. Haven't you got anything better to do?
If that's the biggest problem in your life...

The fuck you mean you don't shop in Aldi?! What madness is that?

How dare you post about your long deserved promotion & pay rise. There are people on here with no job you insensitive twat.

If you like cereal, you can just fuck the fuck off with your box of shit.

Men who enjoy video games are just big oversized babies remember, their hobbies are supposed to be Man Stuff like DIY and Shagging Other Women.

Women who like video games are just enablers who love murdering virtual prostitutes and a disgrace to women everywhere.

Moomin, any adult who enjoys video games is a sad old bastard who needs to get a life. Fancy spending your spare time infront of a screen.

It's ok to play candy crush or hay day however.

Remember, if you ever iron a shirt for your DH when he's running late for work then you are a witless, subjugated housewife circa 1952 who should be publically flogged for not being true to the Sistaz's Cause.

Hell, even making him a cup of tea is tantamount to curtseying when he walks in the room and meekly asking for house keeping money on the first Monday in the month.

You might be a top flight barrister who out earns her DH by 150k but if you have ever , ever packed a bag for him then you are a filthy disgrace to womanhood and should be shot at dawn.

These views are typically peddled by 30 something wimmin, now divorced. Or ansty lecturers in Women's Studies at third rate universities

Oh and don't ever ever forget paragraphs - otherwise you will 'bore' people

squizita

but it's all organic, dontcha know?

unless you have a well-practiced shocked/1 eyebrow up face, a neck full of pearls and a drawer full of judgey underwear don't even bother

you must keep up with




[bicycle]

learn how to do a blank post

?

oh yes

I really do believe a huge percentage of mnetters have huge yellow faces with o shaped mouths.

You've outed me!

And did you realise people with faces like this suffer 90% more depression than average, have a 50% higher suicide risk, earn on average 35% less and suffer 27% more violence? Emoticonface is a serious disability, and it's people like you who make emoticonfaced people's lives unbearable :(
You should be ashamed.

And never dare say a single word against housewives. They are hallowed saints.