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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Before you post

275 replies

lunar1 · 24/03/2015 09:29

Are you aware of the unwritten rules?

Never talk about buying your child a pink toy, unless your child is a boy. Then he absolutely must have something pink and preferably a princess dress to go with it.

Do not make any spelling or grammatical errors. Your OP will be ignored, no matter how important the question until you have accepted your flogging for using to many exclamation marks.

You must have a full understanding of every allergy possible, anything that can contain these allergens and exactly how to treat them.

You must be up to date in all correct terminology and how people may identify themselves, anything less and you are an intolerant bigot.

You will need to LTB within 24 hrs of your op, otherwise you are ignoring advice people have spent time giving you, not to mention damaging your children by not immediately running for the hills without a plan.

You must have enough savings for any possible emergency, otherwise you are irresponsible and should have planned better.

You must have an in depth knowledge of every physical and mental health problem possible and be aware of exactly how to manage each one and how it might affect someone's life.

If you get a flaming you must return to your thread within ten minutes otherwise you have flounced and are ignoring well meaning advice.

OP posts:
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/03/2015 23:50

if in your op you say "I guess I'll be flamed for this" don't be surprised when you are indeed being flamed.

MrsPeterQuill · 27/03/2015 06:35

only1scoop same applies for the National Anthem Grin

Mehitabel6 · 27/03/2015 07:02

Make sure your OP can't get an opening reply of
'I don't understand why you are posting this OP, especially in AIBU. What outcome were you hoping for?'

(Love this thread- it is all instantly recognisable)

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 27/03/2015 07:31

Unless quoting someone else don't say 'IMO'. of course it is your opinion, your are posting itConfused
and nobody denies that you are entitled to it

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 27/03/2015 07:34

remember that thread deraililng happens and banter is ok.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/03/2015 07:57

If your thread takes off and runs to hundreds of posts, don't be surprised and absolutely don't take umbrage if people keep replying to the OP without reading any of the 555 other replies. Quite obviously none of the other 555 people will have thought to say 'YABU for sending your children to school naked to save wear and tear on their clothes'.

Golferman · 27/03/2015 08:03

Never post on here as a man as you'll always be wrong..........

Golferman · 27/03/2015 08:04

HaHa, Is my last post ironic?

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 27/03/2015 09:17

when looking after babies and toddlers under NO circumstances are you to pay attention to anything else.
this includes the obvious stuff phone calls, older children, housework but it is a must that you ignore your own bodily needs and functions.
you are not, I repeat you are not allowed to go to the bathroom.ever. wear adult nappies and learn to be sick into your bra.
or else if something bad happens you are a bad bad mother (or father etc) and you will DBU for leaving your small child unsupervised. especially if it something minor like they sneezed.
nobody will believe that you only left them out of your sight for 10 seconds.

you will also do well to remember that watching your kids 24/7 is deemed to be neurotic helicopter parenting so don't do that

Grin
Original poster
lunar1 · 27/03/2015 10:23

Zing your post is absolutely spot on, it's the contradictions that are my favourite!

OP posts:
squizita · 27/03/2015 10:34

Grin Brilliant.

May I add:

  • the answer to all feeding queries is CMPI or tongue tie. Even if the query is "are Tommy Tippee bottles still on special offer at Boots?".
  • the hv is always wrong. Always.
Grin
squizita · 27/03/2015 10:39

That all LOS should do STEM subjects because your cousin's best mate's niece did Geography and UCAS came and set her house alight and pissed on it. Grin
If an employee of a university or employer disagrees they are probably a HV in disguise or "out of touch" so can be ignored.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 27/03/2015 11:00

Remember that you are selfish.

if you have on child - you are selfish

if you have 7 children - you are selfish

if you have no children - you are selfish

if you are TTCing - you are selfish

to sum it up you are selfish

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 27/03/2015 11:01

*have one child

(not "on child"Confused )

tarashill · 27/03/2015 18:04

Never criticize a female celeb, they're sucessful women, you're not allowed to dislike them. If you do you must be jealous.

Yangsun · 27/03/2015 18:48

You are completely unreasonable if you are pleased that p and c spaces make the trek with toddler and newborn to the supermarket a bit easier. What are you doing at the supermarket anyway? You should be shopping online and leaving those spaces for people with hidden disabilities but no blue badge an,d of course, more importantly the people who always park in them anyway because they're just a courtesy and your clearly an entitled princess if you think you have any right to use them..

TrulyBadlyMeekly · 27/03/2015 19:29

If you're vying to be a tall poppy on MN then make sure you have either a secretly unhappy marriage or a child with a behavioural disorder up your sleeve.

You can post all the smug, pompous drivel you like and people will forgive you it. So long as you have a secret heartache (well not so secret) in your life.

But if you are happily married, enjoy your job, earn more than 40K a year and your children are happy and doing well at school (and God forbid it might actually be a selective school) then be prepared to apologise profusely every day for your very existence.

TrulyBadlyMeekly · 27/03/2015 19:32

If you post saying you use kid's clubs on holiday then you must realise that you don't actually like, let alone love, your own children.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/03/2015 20:17

Oh no. You poor hard done by happy successful rich person with happy successful kids. How do you cope.

Only1scoop · 27/03/2015 20:27

On your birthday if you expect to receive anything more than garage flowers and a crappy card you are grab grab grabbin....

Be grateful

squizita · 27/03/2015 20:36

Trulybadlymeekly If you didn't want to spend time with them WHY DID YOU HAVE THEM? Must feature somewhere in the condemnation.

Or some suggestion it is "child abuse".

Massive flounces if a social worker, foster parent etc takes exception to that hyperbole having seen real abuse.

Or you're a narc.

massive flounce if victim of actual narc parent calls you up on this hyperbole.

TrulyBadlyMeekly · 27/03/2015 21:13

You cope fanjo by constantly apologising for your situation every day and twice on Sundays of course Grin

WayfaringStranger · 27/03/2015 21:15

Be aware that even if you're posting about what type of oven cleaner to buy, someone will armchair diagnose you.

TrulyBadlyMeekly · 27/03/2015 21:16

Yeah squitzita because those 2 hours a day for a fortnight they spend in the kids club on holiday once a year utterly negate the thousands and thousands of hours you have happily and willingly devoted yourself to their every need.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/03/2015 21:18

Ach real life happiness is worth a million times more than MN popularity. Don't apologise. Be proudly happy.