Before you post

[lunar1]

Are you aware of the unwritten rules?

Never talk about buying your child a pink toy, unless your child is a boy. Then he absolutely must have something pink and preferably a princess dress to go with it.

Do not make any spelling or grammatical errors. Your OP will be ignored, no matter how important the question until you have accepted your flogging for using to many exclamation marks.

You must have a full understanding of every allergy possible, anything that can contain these allergens and exactly how to treat them.

You must be up to date in all correct terminology and how people may identify themselves, anything less and you are an intolerant bigot.

You will need to LTB within 24 hrs of your op, otherwise you are ignoring advice people have spent time giving you, not to mention damaging your children by not immediately running for the hills without a plan.

You must have enough savings for any possible emergency, otherwise you are irresponsible and should have planned better.

You must have an in depth knowledge of every physical and mental health problem possible and be aware of exactly how to manage each one and how it might affect someone's life.

If you get a flaming you must return to your thread within ten minutes otherwise you have flounced and are ignoring well meaning advice.

Redxpat at competitive ginger loving!! That should be in the Olympics

Yay a snidey thread. Love them

Not

fanjo

Don't ever, EVER ask for opinions on your child's diet. EVER!

Once a man has a girlfriend/wife he is no longer allowed to have a relationship with his mum, but he has to be the one who buys her cards, presents etc

If a man doesnt change nappies he will always be a dreadful dad (even if he is very good at clearing up sick)

You can only be depressed/stressed if it manifests the way that MN thinks it should

If you don't take the advice given to you then you are being very very unreasonable. Especially if you've posted in Chat and didn't ask for any advice in the first place.

Posts must also have a disclaimar at the bottom stating sen/mental health etc excluded!

POAS. then look at it.
it will tell you if you are pg or not
we really don't know

Don't admit you have been lurking for ages. it's creepy

learn that DS5 means 5th son.
not that DS is 5 years old

ffs it's not hard

and it's "should have"
not "should of"

Yeah ....if you can barely see a faint blue line then doubt we can either....

You must not take your husbands surname when you marry or use the title Missus. The only exceptional title...and that's if you really have to use one is Ms. In fact titles should be wiped of the face of the earth according to 0.01 percent of the population. I.e. Mumsnet.

And taking your husbands surname and daring to not mind being called Missus means you are thick and lacking imagination. You've also lost your identity.

Biggest load of claptrap I ever read on it.

On here I meant.

offering to MNHQ is never knowingly under - appreciated!

You cannot, under pain of death, ever break a law or rule ever, but others may have special needs/be broke/whatever so we mustn't pass judgement.

spidey66 Agreed about laws/rules (especially numbers in names!) However, as everyone knows, ignorance of the law excuses no one - you should of known all of them before signing up...

If you must mention sex please clarify that you actually mean sex not gender. Especially if discussing the gender of something that resulted from sex.

If in doubt, remember the wise words of Mr Rumsfeld - it is the "unknown unknowns" on here that will be the difficult ones.

I meant rules/laws in society SAHD not MN...I was thinking about the thread recently about people lying about their kids ages in order to get cheaper of free admission/fares. Loads were aghast that people were prepared to do this, but I've also come across threads giving out for judging others for similar crimes.

Spidey, ah, OK. And I saw the thread you mentioned. I am not entirely sure all societal rules are always taken as seriously as MN ones TBH. And as for a consistent message on MN? I admire your optimism!

Always check with MumsNet first before taking your child to A&E, especially in the event of fall down spiral staircase, compound fracture or chihuahua gnawing off lower lip.

Spend entire month of August engaged in packed lunch vs hot lunch debate

Spend entire month of September slagging American's for the Halloween fiasco

Spend entire month of October berating anyone churlish enough to whisper the C word..

Don't ever, ever admit to having a Christian faith. You will be subjected to the most bitter, vile angst . Although on the plus side most of the anti-faith brigade protest so much they end up looking like complete dicks

You must never allow your dc more than 3 minutes screen time per day. Otherwise they will end up as thick, drug dealing delinquents

You must mention absolutely everything to do with your issue that you can possibly think of in your first post otherwise you are drip feeding.

You must never, ever save a table in a cafe unless you have bought a drink/three course meal. If you come on here complaining that someone asked told you to move because you didn't have anything then you will be flamed.

Don't use a toilet brush, infact, don't let one enter the house. It's far more hygienic to shove your hand in the toilet pan and wipe with loo roll. Apparently.

If you ask aibu and people say yes it doesn't matter how many times you say "fair enough I accept iabu - pm moment over so I'll be nice to mil and stop being so sensitive" you will still have more comments pointing out yabu and getting nastier and nastier because admitting you are wrong clearly just means you're just saying that to get people on side.

If your child ever is made to sing a hymn in school obviously remove them as they are being brainwashed.