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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be comfortable leaving DS &DD?

177 replies

BabyHaribo · 10/02/2015 13:41

MIL & FIL are having a formal dinner for wedding anniversary in a small hotel. It only has 20 rooms and they are having exclusive use.

I am not comfortable leaving DS.3 and DD 1 in the hotel room whilst we attend the evening meal. Neither of them are good sleeps and often wake up. I also worry about who had access to the room and fire etc. I don't mind sitting in the room whilst they sleep.

MIL & FIL are putting on the pressure saying they don't see the problem and I'm being rudeHmm

AIBU? Would you leave them with a monitor if your party were the only ones in the hotel?

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 10/02/2015 13:46

No, I wouldn't leave them. You wouldn't be able to enjoy yourselves. Can't you have them with you?

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 10/02/2015 13:49

YANBU. It's not so much that anyone is likely to harm them as that they are likely to wake not remembering where they are and have some kind of accident looking for you - in the room or getting out and wandering (esp a 3 yo).

My parents rolled their eyes at me for similar - we were staying at an expensive hotel - they kindly treated us - but the evening meal was a long leisurely affair and the kids got restless. When I said I'd say goodnight and take them to bed my parents approved of the decision to put them to bed but thought I was being ridiculous not to immediately come back down on my own.

I'm relaxed usually but toddlers alone in a hotel room is asking for trouble on one level or another... (Maybe 3 yo will decide to run 1 yo a bath...)

Rosieliveson · 10/02/2015 13:51

There is no way I would be leaving my child alone. YANBU! I think the inlaws are for pressuring you on this.
Anything could happen!

Number3cometome · 10/02/2015 13:52

No way, YANBU.

rinabean · 10/02/2015 13:52

God no, YANBU

LadyLuck10 · 10/02/2015 13:53

Yanbu. I really don't understand people like this. Yes it's an anniversary dinner but your kids are just not anyone, it's their gc. Surely part of celebrating is with family including children. Don't let them pressure you into something that most people won't be comfortable with. What does your DH have to say about it. They seem like very cold people.

CheekyWeeGandT · 10/02/2015 13:54

YANBU. Your in laws are being rude.

McFox · 10/02/2015 13:55

Absolutely not. Can't you just have them downstairs with you until they fall asleep even?

wanttosqueezeyou · 10/02/2015 13:55

YANBU.

I would feel similar to you.

Even if I personally, thought you'd be fine to leave them, I would entirely respect that you felt differently.

If anyone is rude, it is them for pressuring you to leave the children having a booked a venue that isn't suitable for you. With this in mind, I'd decline or arrange to leave them elsewhere.

Ifadoubledeckerbus · 10/02/2015 13:56

Could you book a babysitter through the hotel, who would stay with them in the room once you had them asleep?
That is the only way I have ever felt comfortable leaving my children at a party / wedding.

Mrsjayy · 10/02/2015 13:56

Yanbu I wouldn't leave them either get a babysitter and leave them over night or take them to dinner with you the likelihood is they would be fine but you wouldn't be able to relax and give yourself indigestion.

Hakluyt · 10/02/2015 13:56

Get a baby sitter. Sorted.

DeanKoontz · 10/02/2015 13:56

I wouldn't. Does the hotel offer a babysitting service?

MrsTawdry · 10/02/2015 13:57

I don't mind sitting in the room can I ask why you'd even go at all if you're not having the dinner? I'm with you entirely by the way....I would never leave mine alone in a hotel either.

But why go at all? I'd stay home and let DH go.

GoooRooo · 10/02/2015 13:57

YANBU! Have they not heard of the McCanns?

strawberryshoes · 10/02/2015 13:58

YANBU they have completely forgotten what it is like to have children of those ages (conveniently, for this occasion, because they want you to be there).

I would probably tell them you will put them to bed and come back down, but just not return, claiming your youngest would not settle, and kept waking your older child so you were stuck. Play the poor-me-for-missing-out,-I-would-have-loved-to-be-there card, instead of the i'm-hiding-in-a-hotel-room-to-avoid-you one which they probably think at the moment (wrongly).

AreYouListening1 · 10/02/2015 13:58

Not in a million years.

AbbyCadabby · 10/02/2015 13:59

No way would I leave mine. PIL being ridiculous.

WaroftheRoses · 10/02/2015 13:59

I had a situation a couple of years back where I had all 3 of my kids with me at an event and I did leave them in the room, popping in every now and then to see how they were. But they were 12, 10 and 8 and able to contact me on my mobile. I wouldn't be happy to with children of your age. You will never forgive yourself if something happens.

PatriciaHolm · 10/02/2015 14:00

Oh look we didn't even get to the end of the first page before someone mentioned the McCanns. Sigh. Very different situation.

Anyway. You aren't happy with it, and they are your children. I've done it, with the kids asleep in a room above me and a monitor, but if you are not happy then don't give in to pressure to do something you aren't 100% happy about.

Hakluyt · 10/02/2015 14:02

McCann's? Yes- because the circumstances are soooooooooo similar.....Hmm

Showy · 10/02/2015 14:03

No. Absolutely no. It is not you being rude here.

I actually wouldn't worry about other people accessing the room or fire but I would worry about small children who can wake up and wander/climb/fall.

Mrsjayy · 10/02/2015 14:03

You are not being rude but tbf on your inlaws when their children were that age is was maybe the norm to leave children like that still not rude though

DeanKoontz · 10/02/2015 14:04

Is the hotel far from were you live? Do you have another relative who can have the dc's overnight, or mind them at yours, so you can both go and enjoy yourselves?

Hakluyt · 10/02/2015 14:05

Get a babysitter.