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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I might hate my husband at the moment?

115 replies

toofarfromcivilisation · 24/12/2014 21:57

No help with shopping for Christmas, financially or otherwise. It's 'OK' that we haven't had a card from any of his nieces /nephews even though we have sent presents to their offspring. I have known what my present is for 3 weeks because it has been sat at the bottom of the stairs, unwrapped. We 'had' to go out tonight because he bought raffle tickets. I need to get up at 5.00 to finish things like peeling veg. He is asleep and it's not even sodding ten yet.

OP posts:
Keletubbie · 24/12/2014 21:59

We should start a club. YANBU. My coffee is 80% Baileys.

WorraLiberty · 24/12/2014 22:00

Why do you allow this to happen?

Discopanda · 24/12/2014 22:02

I hate my OH right now as well, we were supposed to have a cosy festive evening with DD tonight, he went out for a "quick drink" at 4.30, missed spending the evening with her and her bedtime and I got a text just after 9 saying they've gone on to another town!

Original poster
toofarfromcivilisation · 24/12/2014 22:02

That's a good point. I don't know. He's bloody snoring now.

OP posts:
RJnomore · 24/12/2014 22:04

You do all realise most men don't behave like this and you don't need to put up with it, don't you?

Happy Xmas to you all - and hope next year is even happier for you.

Discopanda · 24/12/2014 22:06

Good point RJ, I might put the latch on the door!

joanne1947 · 24/12/2014 22:07

I'm sitting here alone, house is clean ish. I know what we are eating tomorrow and there is a bottle of fizzy cooling in the fridge. If he is still sleeping when it is cool it might not see tomorrow. I wonder if he will see tomorrow either?

Original poster
toofarfromcivilisation · 24/12/2014 22:08

Yes, sadly I do. Maybe I will tell him tomorrow.

OP posts:
Whippet81 · 24/12/2014 22:14

I actually think a lot of men DO behave like this though RJ. I'm sure I will be shot down bit it's the truth of the matter - there are men who do their fair share - DB for example and my DF does most of the cooking - but he would never buy a card or a present for anyone.

Having a conversation with DM yesterday we decided that if all women disappeared off the face of the Earth Christmas would probably die out in a couple of years.

I'm pretty pissed off with my DP today. I have a two month old baby and we have been rushing about all day - have had to go to supermarket for things he has forgotten to get and then he's arranging to drop presents off for people left, right and centre. He's had to nick paper off my mum to wrap my presents (I did all of his) and has only done them today. The only two cards I put him in charge of delivering are still sat on the side. We have just got back from the last drop off. I don't want to start an argument but I have warned him that I'm not having this next year - Christmas Eve I will not be moving out of the house. I'm absolutely frazzled.

YANBU

Oldraver · 24/12/2014 22:20

You're hgetting up at 5am to peel veg ? seriously ? do people really do this and why ?

FGS stay in bed until a reasonable hour, non of this martyr stuff

WorraLiberty · 24/12/2014 22:22

Having a conversation with DM yesterday we decided that if all women disappeared off the face of the Earth Christmas would probably die out in a couple of years.

I totally disagree.

I think that if all women disappeared, the men who are lazy would be forced to step up to the plate.

But it shouldn't take the disappearance of womankind for this to happen.

I have not and would not live in an unequal relationship. Therefore my 3 sons know that its totally normal for both parents to share an equal load.

WorraLiberty · 24/12/2014 22:24

Yeah and 5am to peel veg?

Jeez you must absolutely hate frozen veg with a passon!

haphazardbystarlight · 24/12/2014 22:24

I agree with you whippet

Presents, cards and so on tend to be very female-orientated in my experience.

BathshebaDarkstone · 24/12/2014 22:25

Oh dear, I feel for you all. DH is being good tonight, although I do all the wrapping and playing Father Christmas. Xmas Smile

RJnomore · 24/12/2014 22:26

I guess a lot of men behave like this because they are allowed to get away ?ith it.

Would they all?

Nah, most of them are still decent human beings.

emms1981 · 24/12/2014 22:29

I went to dads with the kids yesterday while my dh was at work and the plan was he would come today late morning.
Me and the boys went to my nans to see her and my mum at 10.30 there is no phone signal, got out just before 1, phoned DH to see how he was getting on, he was still asleep Angry I said righto see you midnight then.
He turned up at 6 this evening after I told him please not to be late because the boys wanted him here.

Discopanda · 24/12/2014 22:29

I think they're just thoughtless. I grew up always having to help with chores, always helped cook Christmas dinner, did my own washing, ironing, etc, OH didn't everything was just done for him so they just expect that stuff gets done.

raltheraffe · 24/12/2014 22:31

Just go to bed who cares about peeling veg just have a pot noodle or some crisps

LadyLuck10 · 24/12/2014 22:31

Most men that I know are definitely not like this and I would not be with one who was so useless.
DH prepped all the meat whilst I did the veg and desserts. I did the gift shopping while he did the wrapping and stocking fillers. We then both cleaned up and are relaxing. It's a team effort as everything should be.

Discopanda · 24/12/2014 22:33

Where do you find men like this so I can get a replacement? Mine appears to be faulty.

sliceofsoup · 24/12/2014 22:36

I agree with Worra.

It might be common but that doesnt mean its acceptable. My DH has cleaned the entire house from top to bottom today. I wrapped the gifts but if I couldn't or wouldnt he would do it. I will cook the dinner but he will help. Most of all he is present and we are his priority. There are 364 other nights to be pub crawling. Theres a great excuse for that only a week away. Christmas should be about family.

Fair enough if no one minds but you all do mind. Why do you all stand for it?

I watched my mother be a martyr every day growing up, but xmas was the worst. I vowed I wouldnt do the same and I haven't.

TerraNovice · 24/12/2014 22:38

Once more I am stunned at how many MNetters have such useless DHs who never help out. Seriously, why do you marry these guys if they're such useless feckers? Surely you must've known they were like this - it couldn't have been a change that suddenly came over them the moment they put a ring on their finger!

For the record my DP and I contribute equally to chores and cooking etc. I do the bulk of the childcare because I'm in maternity leave at the moment but he does more than his fair share after work and at weekends. I don't consider myself "lucky" as this is how I think it should be. Also, I wouldn't put up with a guy who didn't pitch in!

MassaAttack · 24/12/2014 22:39

How long does it take to peel vegetables? Xmas Confused

TooManyButtons · 24/12/2014 22:42

My OH has done absolutely nothing. No cleaning, no shopping, nothing. I'm working a 12 hr shift tomorrow, so he's going to his parents' where he'll be waited on all day. Boxing Day is "our" christmas day, I've put my foot down and I'm not cooking a full Christmas dinner, but all the lovely snacky bits in the fridge (that I paid for) won't appear on the table unless I do it.

I'm currently lying in bed crying pathetically to myself.

MassaAttack · 24/12/2014 22:43

fwiw I'm looking forward to next year, when touch wood I'll have a place of my own and will be organising Christmas without being continually told how I'm doing it all wrong. Things ain't all rosy here.

Even so, up at 0500 to peel fucking carrots is bonkers.

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