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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be peed off that he is late??

105 replies

tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 20:36

Hi, not sure if I am justified in this or not.

Been seeing a guy for about a week and a half.

He has been late most times he's been due to come over... only between 10 and 30 mins late, but still.

Take tonight for example; this afternoon he suggested 7pm as his arrival time. I agreed, got all the housework etc sorted for 6.45 and at 7.20pm I get a text saying "be at yours at 8".

I replied okay, again, and he still isn't here. Shot him a text just now asking if he is lost but no reply yet.

Am I being unreasonable, given we are only 'seeing each other'?

OP posts:
GlitterIsJustVampireAsh · 30/09/2014 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 20:40

Pardon?

OP posts:
teenagersknowall · 30/09/2014 20:40

Hm. I wouldn't be impressed. It's only a week and a half and he can't be bothered turning up at this early stage?! I wouldn't be in when he does turn up. You deserve better.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 30/09/2014 20:40

It's not exactly ardent, is it? I'd be tempted to go out now. If he turns up 90 minutes late and you're not there, I think that sends the right message.

AudTheDeepMinded · 30/09/2014 20:41

I would definitely not be happy to be treated like this at any stage in a relationship, but especially not early on. It's disrespectful and also hints at game playing. Don't waste your time on this one!

combust22 · 30/09/2014 20:42

THis is disrespectful. Get rid.

Anotherchapter · 30/09/2014 20:42

Why is he late? My dp cuts every thing to the last minuet - driving me insane when we have to go anywhere but to be fair he was always on time at the beginning.

I don't think your BU. In fact it would puss me off too - it's rude.

Original poster
tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 20:43

Well, I don't have anywhere to go but I have a busy day, I volunteer with a charity from 9am-2pm, pick the kids up at 3 and then get straight onto dinner cooking, housework...I literally don't stop until 7 pm when the children are in bed so if I can get sorted for that time, surely he can too.Will phone him in 5 mins if he isn't here and make it clear I can't abide lateness.

OP posts:
Nancy66 · 30/09/2014 20:44

how many times can you possibly have been out with him if you only met 10 days ago?

Are you going anywhere or just spending the evening at your house?

MrsWolowitz · 30/09/2014 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 20:45

Nope...just meeting at my house. Can't afford a babysitter at the moment. He asked me to come to the cinema tonight and he would pay for a babysitter but I didn't want him paying, so suggested he come here instead.

We've met up about 5 times so far...

OP posts:
MrsMoon76 · 30/09/2014 20:45

Don't phone. He is now nearly two hours later than originally agreed. I wouldn't be answering the door either.

teenagersknowall · 30/09/2014 20:47

Nah, don't ring. He is a rude pig. Move on.

combust22 · 30/09/2014 20:47

Switch off the phone, pour a bubble bath and a glass of wine. Don't answer the door.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/09/2014 20:48

I'm with MrsMoon - don't phone or text him again, and don't answer the door when/if he arrives. That is a pretty poor show on his behalf.

Nancy66 · 30/09/2014 20:48

if you're not going anywhere and you're not eating then he probably thinks it's not that big a deal if he's late.

But, if you like him, I think you need to let him know that it pisses you off.

Original poster
tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 20:49

Might just do that. Thanks :)

OP posts:
LumpenproletariatAndProud · 30/09/2014 20:50

Well it's nearly 9pm and you arranged 7 so Im guessing its a no go.

It would be for me anyway. That would piss me right off.

Original poster
tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 20:50

He just text saying he's five minutes away...

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 30/09/2014 20:52

Bootie call?

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/09/2014 20:52

Either don't answer at all, or say you have other arrangements now. "Thought you weren't coming after all, you are two hours late, so I'm doing something else" - kind of thing

Perd · 30/09/2014 20:53

2 hours late is totally taking the pee. I'd do as others have suggested and not answer the door to him or contact him again.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/09/2014 20:53

Yes, Bootie call - agree with Funky
Don't allow yourself to be used

Mrshoff · 30/09/2014 20:54

I would text back saying sorry thought you weren't coming I've gone to bed! But that depends how much you're in to him!

Orangeisthenewbanana · 30/09/2014 20:54

This is not a good sign. If you're keen on someone you've just started seeing, surely you want to make a good impression? And yet he can't even be arsed to get to you on time after less than 2 weeks. It's just inconsiderate and rude. Why would you want to "see" someone with those qualities? Agree with posters above, cut your losses early and get rid.