Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be peed off that he is late??

105 replies

tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 20:36

Hi, not sure if I am justified in this or not.

Been seeing a guy for about a week and a half.

He has been late most times he's been due to come over... only between 10 and 30 mins late, but still.

Take tonight for example; this afternoon he suggested 7pm as his arrival time. I agreed, got all the housework etc sorted for 6.45 and at 7.20pm I get a text saying "be at yours at 8".

I replied okay, again, and he still isn't here. Shot him a text just now asking if he is lost but no reply yet.

Am I being unreasonable, given we are only 'seeing each other'?

OP posts:
Original poster
tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 20:55

Think you might be right, unfortunately :(

Thanks for the advice everyone.

OP posts:
Perd · 30/09/2014 20:57

Is he there yet OP? Must be more than 5 minutes since he sent you the text saying he was 5 minutes away!

NorksEnormous · 30/09/2014 20:59

Sounds like he's purposely left it this late so your dc will be asleep in bed

Original poster
tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 20:59

It's been 8 minutes. I think I will answer the door and see if he has a reason, but make it clear I won't tolerate lateness again. And stick to it.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 30/09/2014 20:59

He wasn't coming from euston was he? Major problems on. Trains tonight apparently

Original poster
tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 21:00

Well possibly norks, but he should've said that he would be here between 8 and 9 rather than 7, then "be there at 8".

He's peed me right off now, so all he will get from me now is earache! Lol

OP posts:
Itsfab · 30/09/2014 21:02

This is not a keeper. Def just seeing you as easy sex.

BolshierAyraStark · 30/09/2014 21:03

No way would I tolerate this, 2 fucking hours late?!

He clearly thinks your time is worth shit all, sounds quite the catch.

combust22 · 30/09/2014 21:06

If a guy treats you like this within a fortnight what will he be like 6 months down the line?

Original poster
tallulah2014 · 30/09/2014 21:09

Got here just now, said he was caught up at work and told me to chill. Dick. Oh, he did say sorry when he came in through the door. So that's okay then. Arse.

OP posts:
MaryWestmacott · 30/09/2014 21:09

Not a keeper. He's 2 hours late. But more importantly, he's been rude about it:

At the point he needed to leave his house to get to yours for 7pm and hadn't left yet was the point he should have contacted you to say he'd be late. At worse case, he shuld have contacted you at 7pm to say he was running late and given you a realistic ETA. At 7:20pm he was already 20 minutes late, he'd already stood you up, then tells you 8pm - did he apologise about not just being 1 hour late, but taking 20minutes after his expected arrival time to tell you he was going to be 1 hour late.

Then, after rescheduling, he's late again for the late time. And again, at the point he was due to arrive, 8pm, he didnt contact you to tell you he wasn't about to turn up, but left it to you to contact him.

Not on, being delayed is one thing, being rude is quite another.

Tell him to fuck off. 2 hours late isn't on.

Thisismyfirsttime · 30/09/2014 21:10

A week and a half in and he's always late? No respect there I don't think unless he's coming from work and is often expected to do overtime (like police/ nurse/ doctor type) but even then I'd expect him to keep you informed! It'd be a no-go for me.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 30/09/2014 21:12

He's two hours late and tells YOU to chill?? Shock
Git - tell him to sling his hook
Honestly - if you like him, tough! You deserve better than that - what a complete arse

Flipflops7 · 30/09/2014 21:12

Sounds a bit pick-up artisty. I'd let him go.

Thisismyfirsttime · 30/09/2014 21:15

Cross posted! Get shot of him, how rude!

Bunbaker · 30/09/2014 21:16

Why didn't you just show him the door?

He isn't worth it. If he knows he can get away with this kind of behaviour now he will only get worse.

Thisismyfirsttime · 30/09/2014 21:16

Tell him you're going for a quick shower and come back 2 hours later then tell him to chill!

Charley50 · 30/09/2014 21:17

I put up with this from my ex and it was stressful and disrespectful and led him to further taking the piss. If you like him tho I think you can 'train' him. Tell him your time is precious and if he's going to waste it; forget it. If he likes you he might learn.

Nancy66 · 30/09/2014 21:17

so did you ask him to leave?

PinkSquash · 30/09/2014 21:18

I hope you've booted him out, 10 days and he's like that? He's no good

GloriousGloria · 30/09/2014 21:19

I can't believe you answered the door to hear his excuse OP.

He obviously thinks his work is more important than showing respect for you so early on in getting to know each other.

He's treating you as something to do for when he gets bored.

Close the door, don't let him through it and move on.

Nothing is better than this.

bellarations · 30/09/2014 21:20

I've a feeling you let him in anyway.
No way should you have, I would not have answered the door.. He is using you, he is an arse.

Nancy66 · 30/09/2014 21:22

I know I'm going to sound Victorian here but I'm not sure how good an idea it is to have him under your roof with your kids upstairs when you've only known him just over a week.

Lottieandmia · 30/09/2014 21:24

Lateness is rude in any context. And I say this as someone who was habitually late but I worked hard on it because I know it's a bad flaw.

phantomnamechanger · 30/09/2014 21:26

nancy exactly what I was thinking.