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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not wash my newborn

140 replies

Anotherchair · 30/07/2014 07:36

I have a 3 week old and I have never given him a bath. I don't want to as my first ds hated baths and used to scream. I don't want to wash him for as long as possible so I have told some little lies to my dh and dm about this.

I do top and tail him but don't want to do a proper bath.

OP posts:

CoffeeTea103 · 30/07/2014 07:38

Yabu, 3 weeks without a bath? That's really unfair on the baby.

ikeaismylocal · 30/07/2014 07:39

I don't think there is any reason to wash them apart from it might help the baby to get used to being in the bath. My ds loved baths, your baby might be the same.

I don't think it's a good idea to lie to your family about it, maybe talk it through with them instead.

NorwaySpruce · 30/07/2014 07:40

I did a couple of baths in the early days, but more for photo ops .

Tiny babies don't need much washing.

On the other hand, early exposure might lessen the screaming, or you might even have a water baby without knowing it! My youngest cried coming out of the bath.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 30/07/2014 07:41

I'm more concerned that you are lying about it.

Why not let your dp bath the baby?

RoganJosh · 30/07/2014 07:42

They don't need much washing, but why don't you just take the baby in the bath with you rather than lie about it?

Sirzy · 30/07/2014 07:42

As long as he is top and tailed then he is clean so no problem

1lov3comp5 · 30/07/2014 07:44

I only bath DS (12 wks) about once a week unless he has a particularly explosive nappy, only bath dd (6 yo) weekly unless especially dirty etc. both are happy and healthy so if you are topping and tailing I don't see a problem.
What I will say is dd hated baths for about 6 months but DS is fine with them so could be the same for your lo. Maybe don't leave it too long though in case you make it into a 'bigger' thing than it needs to be

Wrcgirl · 30/07/2014 07:45

No need to lie...but I understand the pressure. I'm sure my mil thought I was weird cause I was so scared of dropping a slippery pfb in the baby bath I only used the top and tail bowl! I felt silly when she came to see me wash her!
You baby will still be clean though if you too and tail, so it didn't really matter. My aunt used to too and tail with cotton wool as she also was terrified of dropping a slippery baby. You are not alone! X

littlemslazybones · 30/07/2014 07:45

Do you mean you are just topping and tailing the baby? I don't think there's any real value in being submerged in water, if the end result is that the baby gets clean.

My 6mo hated baths as a newborn. I would hand him to dh in the shower, he would still cry (ds, not dh) but the whole thing was quicker. He has only recently started to enjoy a bath.

lanbro · 30/07/2014 07:45

My youngest hardly had any full baths in the early days but was thoroughly washed. A good tip is to wrap them in a towel them put them in the bath. Just open the towel as you need to wash each bit. It makes them feel more secure and is less of a shock going into the water

Mumraathenoisylion · 30/07/2014 07:46

I felt the same so dh did the bathing until I felt less anxious about it.

A lot of people say baby baths are rubbish but actually our baby bath with a built in support was fantastic and dd2 loved the bath when she was a baby because of it. If you make everything calm, put some music on and place the baby bath on a towel in the lounge or a bedroom it's easier to sit on the floor, it is then easier to lift slippy wet newborn onto the towel next to the bath and cover with another towel to dry.

You do need to give the little one a bath though, ASAP.

Original poster

Anotherchair · 30/07/2014 07:46

Ds1 always screamed at bath time until he was about 5 months. He hated it and so did I. I didn't wash him very much maybe every 3 days or so and only started washing him more regularly when he stopped screaming, but this time I'm very hesitant to wash ds2 as this baby is such a contented sleepy baby who doesn't cry much and I don't want to upset him.

I feel I little guilty when people cuddle him as he hasn't been washed properly and could probably still be considered to be covered in his original birth substances.

OP posts:

beccajoh · 30/07/2014 07:48

DS is six months and until he was weaned he was having a bath about every ten days on average, mainly because he was always flipping asleep at bath time! He's none the worse for it. I didn't feel the need to lie about it, though!

littlemslazybones · 30/07/2014 07:49

In that case, I think you should top and tail him regardless of any crying fall out. Do it with family around if that helps and when he has just woken from a nap.

Original poster

Anotherchair · 30/07/2014 07:49

Yes I top and tail. Wash his top half every morning when he wakes and then his bottom half every evening before bed (I do an extra wash if he has a particularly messy nappy). But he hasn't been properly submerged and washed under the water yet.

OP posts:

Notso · 30/07/2014 07:49

My first two newborns hated baths, when I had DC3 I bought an electronic thermometer and realised I had been doing baths far too cold
DC3 and 4 both loved their baths and would go all dreamy and fall asleep.
Other good tips are to keep their tummies covered all the time with a warm face cloth or something in the bath then the towel when your drying them.
I know lots of people say they don't need baths but I found mine got greasy hair, and their fists and neck folds got 'vinegary' and it was easier to dunk them in the bath than it was to top and tail them.
I'm not sure why you feel you have to fib about bathing though.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 30/07/2014 07:49

Give him a bath.

ZenGardener · 30/07/2014 07:49

I thought that was a thing now that you don't wash the baby so they can get the moisture from their birth juices something like that? Not sure how long you leave it though.

My DD2 loves baths!! I just take her in the bath with me and she smiles and laughs so why not give it a try and perhaps your DS2 will surprise you.

littlemslazybones · 30/07/2014 07:50

Sorry, I misunderstood. Don't worry, he's fine.

fluffyraggies · 30/07/2014 07:51

I didn't bath DD, now 6 months, for the first 2 weeks. She was very 'clean' when we bought her home, no crusty bits or dry blood anywhere, and i just didn't want her to loose that special brand new smell.

I had a word with myself and bathed her on about day 18 and she loved her bath. Nice warm water, little sponge, RELAX, 5 mins and it's all over. Let the water trickle down the babies head from the start and they used to it real quick.

Iona226 · 30/07/2014 07:52

Make the baths really quick.

Fill up with nice warm soapy bubbly water - get him in and out quickly

It does relax them after even if they do not enjoy it at the time

appealtakingovermylife · 30/07/2014 07:54

I understand your reasoning but how do you know ds 2 hates the bath?, you don't yet. No 2 babies are exactly the same. I do find it much easier to bath the kids rather than them having a wash, but then I've always bathed my 2 every night, it's part of their routine and it helps them relax for bed.

By not introducing your ds to baths he may well end up hating them but you can't put it off forever:)

Minifingers · 30/07/2014 07:57

You don't need to bath a small baby. You just don't.

So YANBU

ohdearitshappeningtome · 30/07/2014 07:58

All newborns scream when they are bathed! You can't avoid that bum in afraid! I have a content baby who rarely cries! Sometimes he's ok in the bath sometimes he's not!

While I appreciate
Your anxiety over this it's not fair on your baby! He may love the bath

GermyJamie · 30/07/2014 07:59

I think 11mo DD has had about 5 baths ever.

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