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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not wash my newborn

140 replies

Anotherchair · 30/07/2014 07:36

I have a 3 week old and I have never given him a bath. I don't want to as my first ds hated baths and used to scream. I don't want to wash him for as long as possible so I have told some little lies to my dh and dm about this.

I do top and tail him but don't want to do a proper bath.

OP posts:
Minifingers · 30/07/2014 08:00

'Not fair on baby'. Baby can't miss what it doesn't know.

GreedyBitch · 30/07/2014 08:02

You're doing fine, OP. Ignore the hand-wringers.

Delphiniumsblue · 30/07/2014 08:03

Why are you projecting the reaction of your DC1 onto DC2? I hope you are not going to do it for other things! They are individuals and maybe DC2 would love it and is longing for a bath!

littlemslazybones · 30/07/2014 08:05

'longing for a bath'?!

Absolutely, that baby is just waiting to sink into a hot bubble bath complete with galaxy bar...now who's projecting!

ikeaismylocal · 30/07/2014 08:07

I would breastfeed ds in the bath and he loved it, he also loved showers with dp.

It's not true that all babies hate baths and if you have a sleepy calm baby it may well love baths!

Having said that I don't think baths are necessary but they can be a lovely bonding time.

ohdearitshappeningtome · 30/07/2014 08:08

Thing is the op doesn't actually know what her baby is like in the water until she tries it!

NewtRipley · 30/07/2014 08:08

I just topped and tailed at this age

Your new baby may quite like a bath though. My two were quite different in that respect

Reminds me of how, with my first, I missed the fold in his little neck (scared of pulling his about too much), and when I finally got to it, he was all sore. Poor mite

OneDreamOnly · 30/07/2014 08:09

So your baby hasn't had a bath but is actually washed everyday? Where is the problem? That in itself isn't an issue at all. He isn't covered with the 'birth substances' or whatever you call it. You are washing his top half every morning.

As for the fear of putting him in the bath in a bath, I would remember that all babies are different. One might like it, the other not so much but you won't know until you try :).

I'm more concerned that you haven't dare saying so to your DH. Do you think he wouldn't understand?

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 30/07/2014 08:09

You need to make sure you're washing in all the creases; neck, knees, armpits etc.

YABU not to give it a try - some babies hate baths, some babies love them. My DD has loved them since birth Grin

NewtRipley · 30/07/2014 08:09

I also wouldn't do bubbles. This is a mistake I made with DS1. His skin was far too sensitive

Delphiniumsblue · 30/07/2014 08:10

It was tongue in cheek, littlems!
My point was that there is no such thing as 'all babies' and what DS1 liked, or didn't like, is irrelevant.

MyFairyKing · 30/07/2014 08:11

Have you tied taking him in with you? He might prefer that.

OneDreamOnly · 30/07/2014 08:15

Some answers are really funny if not Hmm. A newborn baby longing for a bath and it's not fair to 'deprive him' of a bath???
Come on people. There is nothing wrong about not giving a bath to a newborn. If that child was 12 months old, I could understand. But 3 weeks?

OP you are doing well. If we were meant to out our babies in bath only, no one would sell a top and tail bowl. We wouldn't even know about it.
Enjoy your baby, enjoy handing him to other people because you know he is clean (remember you've washed him) and when you are feeling stronger, try a bath. Maybe just sitting in a bit of water so it's quite similar to the top and tail.
But don't worry about that baby being unclean or depriving him of anything it that you aren't a good enough mum because you don't give him a bath. That's just rubbish.

Marmiteandjamislush · 30/07/2014 08:16

Have you tried doing it in the sink rather than a baby bath? I always found that easier when they were tiny. They were at the same height as us so I didn't feel uncomfortable, so they felt more secure. You can get them out quicker as well as you can leave the water in the sink while you sought them, because you're not worried about the bath tipping! Nothing wrong with T&Ting if that works for you, but I always think it's better to get them used to things early on. When ours were toddlers they needed a bath daily, they always looked like they'd struck oil at the end of the day! Smile

Notso · 30/07/2014 08:17

I'll bath him! This thread has made me long to nuzzle some freshly washed fluffy newborn hair.

Matildasmam22 · 30/07/2014 08:18

Print babies don't need regular baths they don't get dirty. My youngest was in neonatal and wasn't allowed a bath for 6 weeks as her temperature wasn't stable.

Top and Tailings fine.

She's a toddler now so I can't get away with it anymore

ohdearitshappeningtome · 30/07/2014 08:18

I don't remember reading anybody saying she isn't a good enough mum! Unless I skipped that post!

It's not fair on the op to keep comparing her first child to her second they are two totally different characters!!

What's worrying is she is lying about it! What else could potentially she be lying about! That's more concerning than lack of bathing

Catsize · 30/07/2014 08:18

My view is that is it probably time to get rid of the birth residue. You wouldn't leave it on your kitchen sideboard for so long! Smile
Besides, I would be concerned about the neck and armpit folds going a bit mouldy.
I am surprised your baby doesn't have a certain odour. I left mine for two or three days before bathing off the vernix etc and there was a smell even then.
I found having a bath with mine much more successful than dangling them. Also, feeding in the bath helped.

Delphiniumsblue · 30/07/2014 08:18

It was tongue in cheek, OneDream only- I didn't realise that people thought a newborn could seriously long for a bath! It was just ridiculous to think that because DS1 didn't like it DC2 wouldn't.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 30/07/2014 08:19

My goodness, how dirty do people think newborns get? Both of mine came in the bath with me every now and then because it's lovely bathing with baby. And faces and bums get washed with damp cotton wool every day. But my first hv said that an actual bath was more for the parents' benefit than the baby's in terms of setting up a bedtime routine (she wasn't very keen on routine) and that a baby doesn't need dunking. Second hv was pleased to hear I bathed with baby as she said so many parents that she sees get very stressed around bathtime because it frightens a lot of newborns to be bathed on their own so she always recommends co-bathing. Of course it's not 'unfair' on a newborn to not bath it, that's utterly ridiculous! You're already making sure your baby is clean, it's not mandatory to dip them!

Delphiniumsblue · 30/07/2014 08:20

Note to self- 'don't make any flippant remark without Grin

FlossyMoo · 30/07/2014 08:20

I don't suppose it will harm your baby if you don't bath them. I just couldn't imagine not doing it.

I wouldn't go 3 weeks without bathing so not bathing a baby seems odd to me.

By the time mine were 6 months bath time happened every night as it was fun time and all my DC's loved it. It was less about getting clean and more about the enjoyable activity.

You anxiety is concerning OP. Maybe you should have a chat with your health visitor.
Take care

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 30/07/2014 08:21

Why you don't you take him in the bath with you?

Delphiniumsblue · 30/07/2014 08:21

There is absolutely no need to to bath him- but don't use DS1 as the reason.

Marmiteandjamislush · 30/07/2014 08:24

I mean sort them, obviously!