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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not wash my newborn

140 replies

Anotherchair · 30/07/2014 07:36

I have a 3 week old and I have never given him a bath. I don't want to as my first ds hated baths and used to scream. I don't want to wash him for as long as possible so I have told some little lies to my dh and dm about this.

I do top and tail him but don't want to do a proper bath.

OP posts:

JennyCalendar · 30/07/2014 12:02

YANBU to delay giving your baby a bath if you are topping and tailing (though make sure you get into all the creases - especially armpits and neck). I think it was about 6 weeks when we first gave DS a bath, but still no soap, only water. DH, DSD and DSS all suffer from excema to varying degrees and we didn't want to accidentally trigger it on his sensitive skin.

Even now he is nearly 2, we only bathe him every 2-3 days, depending on how mucky he has got, and only occasionally use soap (he has got excema - appeared at a year).

YABU to lie to your DH about it. Did you discuss any of this with him at all?

minipie · 30/07/2014 12:19

YANBU at all

In general, no need for a full bath for newborns, topping and tailing is plenty. The stuff they are born with is the world's best skin protector.

However:

-I think you should be honest with your DH

In hot weather you probably want to do more than just top and tail

In cold weather he might get cold during top and tailing so might prefer a bath

-You never know, this DS might love baths, so give it a try sometime and see.

maggiethemagpie · 30/07/2014 20:05

Could you not do what we did and get a summer infant baby bather - it's a net thing, looks like a baby sized deck chair, you just lie baby on it and sponge them clean. I used that for six months, baby is not immersed in water but still gets clean.

Icimoi · 30/07/2014 20:08

At this age I used to bath the baby in the hand basin. It was really easy, and I could make it a quick dip if the baby was upset while still getting him clean.

5madthings · 30/07/2014 20:11

I only top and tdialed the madthings for months, u til they could sit up. They occasionally had a bath with me.
But most of the time a wipe with a flannel was fine.

toomuchtooold · 30/07/2014 20:12

I used to bath my twins the day before I had to take them to the HV (i.e. every two weeks and not more). Topped and tailed them other than that but they hated baths in the early days so why put them through it?
It's weird how many people think it's What You Do with babies though so can see why you're telling porkies . I got Gina Ford's twin book and figured out with all the bathing and topping and tailing and creaming I'd be spending about half of their awake time in the bathroom!

mermaidstale · 30/07/2014 20:28

My teacher mum said that there used to be a few kids in every class who were dirty and smelly. I thought those days were long gone but now it's fashionable to not bath children and to not brush their hair. I see them at school in unironed clothes, tangled and unwashed hair, dirty hands.
Babies get hot and get milk in their creases. What's wrong with kicking in the bath every day?

Xmasbaby11 · 30/07/2014 20:35

Yanbu. No need to bath him - but no need to lie. I would give hima bath soon though and get it over with!

SuperGlue · 30/07/2014 20:43

I don't understand this fashion for not washing babies and small (and big) children. I very recently held a 12 week old new family member and quite honestly he was pongy! And not just from a nappy. His head smelt very oily and his hands were sticky and had fluff in between the fingers. He also had quite bad cradle cap. I was so looking forward to that 'tiny baby smell' as dd is now almost 9. I leaned in to kiss the top of his little head and almost didn't kiss him. I thought it was me being hyper fussy but later that night dh commented on it (his nephew). The mum said that they were just topping & tailing him and he had only had 1 or 2 baths in the 12 weeks. And it really was evident.

I think parents get so used to the smell they just don't notice it.

We bathed dd every day using moo goo or gaia products and her skin was and is perfect. There is nothing in the world nicer than a freshly washed baby snuggled up in your arms

mewkins · 30/07/2014 20:45

Dd hated the bath and screamed. We had to have a bottle on standby as she got so worked up about it. Ds (only 5weeks) loves the bath!!! Possibly due to the days being hot and sticky, he just relaxes as soon as I put him in. We got a cheap bath support and he loves kicking about in the water. All babies are different.

Notcontent · 30/07/2014 20:58

I have to agree with superglue... I bathed dd every second day for the first few weeks and since then it has been every.

WorraLiberty · 30/07/2014 21:06

While I don't think topping and tailing is necessarily a bad thing OP, I just think you need to get your head around how different your new baby may be to his sibling.

No two babies/children are the same and the difference sometimes can be hard to imagine.

Just bath him and if he cries he cries

Crying is what babies do best

imip · 30/07/2014 21:08

I didn't bath dds 2, 3 and 4 for at least the first month. Dd1 had v bad eczema from 4 weeks, she was a little, red scratchy ball. Even for the first 12 weeks, they were bathed infrequently.

The last three did get eczema and before 12 weeks, but much less severe than dd1. They also got a lot of olive oil on peeling feet!

MerryInthechelseahotel · 30/07/2014 21:21

possibly the most beautiful video (hope this link works)

ithoughtofitfirst · 30/07/2014 21:29

Errmahgerrd that video. so cute.

moomin35 · 30/07/2014 21:34

I didnt bath my baby Until the
umbilical stump fell off which took quite a while so I don't think it's as bad as the way it's been made out?

Nanny0gg · 30/07/2014 21:38

My first DC was in SCBU for a week when he was born.

I remember the midwife giving him his first hairwash under the tap! He had masses of hair that was full of gunk - he didn't even whimper!

Also, his nappies were so disgusting - usually up to the neck of his babygros and out of the sleeves - that topping and tailing would just not have been sufficient.

goingloombandcrazy · 30/07/2014 21:44

Got friends who haven't ever bathed their nearly 1 and 2 years olds. Bloody fab parents.

Don't worry its not compulsory.

I'm sure all the washing we do is why we had so many skin complaints

Nanny0gg · 30/07/2014 21:46

Got friends who haven't ever bathed their nearly 1 and 2 years olds. Bloody fab parents.

Unless they've had shower downs instead, I'm sorry, but I think that's yuck.

Why haven't they?

DizzyKipper · 30/07/2014 21:47

We didn't give DD a proper bath until her umbilical cord had dropped off and belly button healed up properly. I really can't remember what age that was (I do know it took longer than most to heal up). In the meantime we would give her a clean all over using cotton wool, which was more than adequate. The first time she did go in a bath she screamed - although we'd tested the water I think it was just a little bit too warm for her and she wasn't prepared for it, once we realised this and began preparing baths to a cooler temp than what we'd have for us she loved them.

goingloombandcrazy · 30/07/2014 21:59

dont like being bathed they would rather wash them instead.

Sitting in bath is just dead skin and grime. Not exactly clean is it?!

Nanny0gg · 30/07/2014 22:00

If they don't do it, how do they know they don't like it?

Topping and tailing isn't the same.

goingloombandcrazy · 30/07/2014 22:00

And they do wash them. Kids go forest school sessions and families are more active than most.
They just do what works for them rather than force an unnecessary bath on infant.

Oddly all three babies like swimming!

Nicknacky · 30/07/2014 22:05

Bath times in my house NEVER look like that video.

I want that woman to give me a bath, it looks amazing! And I would like one of those mega cute babies too.

Goingloom, what do they do instead?

corkgirlindublin · 30/07/2014 22:07

superglue - cradle cap is a fungal infection and is nothing at all to do with cleanliness. And both my newbies always had fluff between their fingers cos they'd suck their hands and the fluff from blankets and clothes would stick to their wet hands. Defluffing their fingers was one of my favorite jobs.

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