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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Conveying the 'perfect life'

106 replies

Pud2 · 27/07/2014 13:14

AIBU to get irritated by people who convey their 'perfect lives' on Facebook?! Photos of their perfect children doing lovely things, their wonderful holiday and their fabulous OTs. I know I don't have to look, but I do and I sometimes wonder whether life isn't quite as perfect as it seems......

OP posts:

Sirzy · 27/07/2014 13:18

I would rather that than people airing their dirty laundry in public.

Unless it's abusive/illegal I can't say I get too bothered about how others decide to use their social media. If I really don't like it the blocking/deleting are options anyway

Flexibilityisquay · 27/07/2014 13:21

YABU. People want to put nice things on there. What would you rather see? I don't think anyone expects you to believe their life is perfect, just because they have chosen to share some of the good bits on FB.

GodDamnBatman · 27/07/2014 13:23

I only share the good parts on facebook, why would I air my dirty laundry on a public forum where everyone can see?

ithoughtofitfirst · 27/07/2014 13:23

I came off

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 27/07/2014 13:24

What is OT?

ithoughtofitfirst · 27/07/2014 13:24

FB cause it messed with my head too mu

ithoughtofitfirst · 27/07/2014 13:24

FB cause it messed with my head too much

Lally112 · 27/07/2014 13:25

I don't get irritated by it, I smirk to myself and think of all the lovely gossip everyone around the village knows and that they are fooling no one

TheWordFactory · 27/07/2014 13:25

I don't use FB or instagram or any socil media that isn't anonymous precisely because I find the construction of these perfect lives so dull. I want to know how my friends are, not what cake they wish me to see!

Philoslothy · 27/07/2014 13:25

I love to see my friends happy.

stargirl1701 · 27/07/2014 13:26

YABU. It's natural to take photos of wonderful moments. Would you rather they photographed tantrums!

inabranstonpickle · 27/07/2014 13:27

To be honest I don't know why it bothers people - or rather, I do, but everyone knows Facebook only tells the tip of an iceberg!

I think a lot of unhappy people are on there a lot actually, which isn't the same as saying all people who use Facebook a lot are unhappy.

My brother gets really upset at Facebook though.

Philoslothy · 27/07/2014 13:27

Add message | Report | Message poster Lally112 Sun 27-Jul-14 13:25:09
I don't get irritated by it, I smirk to myself and think of all the lovely gossip everyone around the village knows and that they are fooling no one

But surely you don't think this way about friends.

gordyslovesheep · 27/07/2014 13:28

blimey - my friends post pics of their kids or their holidays or whatever and I think 'how lovely' not 'ohhhh the bitch I bet her life is really shit'

I just don't get why people would even think like that

ThursdayLast · 27/07/2014 13:28

I'm not sure I can get het up about my friends being happy.
I post pictures of lovely family days out, because the days where I'm just at home looking after DS are mostly pretty boring

It's the outright fakers (ie, you know exactly how much they're struggling but have to watch them post happy happy stuff) that get blocked by me.

Also, happy friends are better than some of the emotive shit that gets peddled and pushed around.

inabranstonpickle · 27/07/2014 13:29

It says more than you than about them if you do!

Mind you I do remember somebody who was quite - how to put this - peculiar looking and used to put a LOT of selfies up. People were laughing at them behind her back which is unkind but I'd have been mortified. So I guess people like this DO exist.

MuttonCadet · 27/07/2014 13:32

I enjoy seeing my friends having fun with their kids. I really don't expect to see peoples lives laid bare.

My mum really doesn't get it though, "Is Audrey's daughter Julie (an old friend from school days) okay after her miscarriage?" "I doubt it mum, but it isn't the kind of thing people post on FB."

Philoslothy · 27/07/2014 13:33

I would have thought that it is fairly naturally to put on a front when things are tough, it is a coping mechanism.

We lost a baby a while back, I did a great job of putting on a front just before I had a breakdown. I did not go into Facebook and share my woes, I suspect I may have posted the odd happy picture because if I gave into the misery I could not have cared for my other children.

J hope that none of my friends blocked me for simply trying to cope.

adeucalione · 27/07/2014 13:33

I've heard it all now.

I understand people groaning about controversial posts (politics, religion and so on), over-sharing of dull or private stuff and the gullible sharing of hoaxes and scare stories, but now people aren't allowed to post nice pictures either?

Personally I really enjoy seeing all the lovely things my friends are up to, particularly now it's summer and they're all having day trips and holidays.

I know that some of them have problems to deal with too, but we'd talk about that privately.

Quite often if they're having a tough time it makes me happy to see them having a lovely day out somewhere.

When you're putting stuff on fb for the whole world to see, you're going to put the highlights aren't you?

ikeaismylocal · 27/07/2014 13:34

Yabu. I choose to share the lovely bits of my life on facebook rather than the grotty hard bits because I want to focus on the nice bits of my day.

I may put a photo of my smiling ds dressed in his clean, expensive secondhand clothes doing something terribly fun whilst at the same time educational on Facebook as that was the highlight of my day, why wwould I choose to take a photo of ds in stained, too small pyjamas watching tv whilst eating breakfast whilst I sit on the sofa trying not to vomit ( bloody 3rd trimester morning sickness)?

I think it depends on what type of person you are, I try to see the positives rather than the negatives, I'd rather dwell on the half an hour of fun than the hard bits of the day.

Facebook isn't supposed to be a truthful representation, it's a way of expressing yourself in the way you choose.

If you don't like your life do something to change it.

specialsubject · 27/07/2014 13:37

jealousy is a playground emotion.

I love seeing my friends happy. Especially the ones that I know have had some bad stuff to cope with.

Longtalljosie · 27/07/2014 13:38

People put nice pictures of themselves on FB but I've never correlated that to any suggestion of a perfect life.

Bonsoir · 27/07/2014 13:38

I don't go for people who spend a lot of time crafting a family narrative that is fictitious - and there definitely are some people out there who do that and for whom Facebook, Instagram, blogs etc are just more media on which to broadcast their own imaginary fabulousness.

But most people don't do that.

HauntedNoddyCar · 27/07/2014 13:40

I know I have at least one friend who does do the perfect life on fb whilst I know she struggles with 'stuff' in RL. Doesn't give me any satisfaction though.

Deverethemuzzler · 27/07/2014 13:40

Its not hard to do.

If I take a picture of my kitchen (for whatever reason) i am going to make sure it looks nice and clean.

So the whole world sees my FB picture and they think 'how the hell does she keep that kitchen clean all the time? It looks like a magazine'

Well yes of course it does. I am not going to take a photo of a minging kitchen am I?

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