Conveying the 'perfect life'

[Pud2]

AIBU to get irritated by people who convey their 'perfect lives' on Facebook?! Photos of their perfect children doing lovely things, their wonderful holiday and their fabulous OTs. I know I don't have to look, but I do and I sometimes wonder whether life isn't quite as perfect as it seems......

I like seeing actual happy things rather than the carefully crafted stuff. There's someone on my FB feed who posts photo after photo of her husband and daughter that look like they're from an Anne Geddes photoshoot. I do wonder sometimes if they have any normal photos of their toddler looking a bit manic and covered in chocolate, or does she always run round in frilly knickers and v elaborate angel wings

Gosh, it makes my day when I see that my friends are happy! There is enough misery in the world and my emotional state lifts when I know I have one less person to worry about.

I do have a slight issue with people in RL who claim never ever to have any problems with their children. I think it is lovely for their children that their mothers should be like that but it is hard on other mothers who need to realise how normal it is to have a child with temper tantrums, a rebellious teenager and suchlike.

TBH I feel sorry for people who post (seemingly) every little detail of their lives online.

I'm not on FB, Instagram et.al. as I got fed up of people posting what they had for breakfast and 'talking' to their children (pre school age) in statuses. Ugh.

I've witnessed people when I'm out saying 'let's take a picture to put on FB' It's as if they're 'creating' a fun situation to then post online to give the impression they have a super fulfiling life, when I fact the opposite is probably true.

Muskey maybe she doesn't want pictures of her children online?

I for one have never and will never post pictures of my DDs online. They can put their own pictures online when they are older if they so wish, but until that time comes (hopefully later rather than sooner) I will maintain their privacy.

Or she could just be incredibly narcissistic and self centered

I like to see holiday snaps etc.

I am not so keen on the boring minutiae types -'ironing done, now time for a cuppa'

And I hide the real dickheads. I today hid the twat someone that shared a post from 'Britain First' for example

Unfortunately it is the latter itwasmyownsilence. A few winters ago she posted a beautiful picture of a snowman her and the kids made. If I said the snowman was perfect picture post card stuff. I personally would have loved to see rosy faced children standing by a rough and ready snowman. Instead she posted a picture of herself giving the snowman a kiss wearing a lovely but very expensive coat. How do I know the coat was expensive....she said in her post I shouldn't be wearing this coat in the snow as it is an Armani....just a little bit sad

FB causes such angst- just don't use it!
I am quite happy to see whatever people post and understand they post the best. I am only likely to post if doing something interesting. It is a small snapshot of my life. Others are the same.

I just dont use it. I know far too many people who post about fake happiness and fake activities with the kids. - For example a woman who wont allow her dcs to play in paddling pools - bought one, filled it up, stuck the kids in for 10mins, told them to look like they were having fun, took a couple of pictures, then made them put it away and posted on facebook about her dc's day of fun in the paddling pool! She does this kind of thing all the time.

Ha mrsdevere whenever I take a photo of ds doing something that I might put on Facebook, I always make sure the immediate surroundings are tidy! Look beyond that frame of the photo and you will see the bomb site that is my house at the moment!

Unlike my fb friend who is forever putting up statuses about how she has decluttered to kids room/cleaned the bathroom/shined her sink or other equally buttclenchingly dull housework chores......but if she puts a picture up of her kids etc. the house in the background is always a shit tip!

Thing is then, Muskey and Stagsden, why not just unfriend them or block their posts from your newsfeeds if they anmoy you?
I dont understand people who complain about Facebook when they choose to have people as FBFriends who are annoying - that's not a FB issue, that's an issue with those individuals.

backfor because if they are not a happiness faker then they post far tooooo many mundane things like what they ate for breakfast or every boring place they go. The only people who dont are immediate/close family and a couple of friends who i actually talk to frequently anyway.

Plus if i feel like being nosey i can always pop on hubbys account - we have the same friends (grew up together in same friendship circles).

I have a friend who I know is cheating on her husband. It's a very sad situation, and while I love her, he's a good man and it's killing him that their marriage is falling apart. She is constantly posting "happy familes" pictures and posts on FB, and I admit I feel a bit cynical about that.

Other than that, though, I love to look at people's pictures, and it doesn't really occur to me that they are trying to "convey the perfect life," but rather they are sharing the good stuff. Everyone's life is made up of good stuff and bad stuff. I think it's human nature to want to share the good.

Yanbu

I always think it odd when people say 'maybe life isn't as perfect as it seems'

Why shouldn't it be?

I don't post that much on FB, but I do post occasional pics from family days out, of the children, of my DH & I all dressed up for some event.

In the pics we look happy and enjoying each other's company but we are happy and we do enjoy each other's company!

My DH & I love each other and are best friends. We like our children and have fun with them.

Of course, as with most people we have worries and bad things happen from time to time but in general we roll along all very merrily.

I appreciate we are very fortunate but at the same time we work hard on our own relationship and to raise our children the best we can.

Not everyone is secretly miserable and faking it on FB.

I agree pretty cherry. Whilst we have had battles to deal our life is as happy as our Facebook page suggests.

Thanks Phil

There is lots that's annoying on FB (the woman on my feed who repeats every compliment her child has ever received, the man who posts vitriolic political rants calling everyone who disagrees stupid, the woman who posts continually' 99% of people won't share this' rubbish)

However generally my feed is full of nice, happy families, doing nice happy things. They all seem pretty genuine to me.

I like happy pictures :) although I normally use my FB for politics. I like quirky things too, like weird stuff that happened in people's days, and pictures of cats and dogs, and all sorts of stuff really.

What I don't like is what a PP said - "Gosh here's me and my darling son Alfie (who's at the top of his class in everything) playing in the snow! Shouldn't be as we're both wearing top of the line designer clothes, but hey ho! Must be off now, as DH has cooked us up a four course feast!" It's a constructed life, not a real life, and you wonder what the construct is hiding.

I think that's what the OP was saying. Not that s/he doesn't want to see her friends happy, but that there's a kind of aggressive happiness which rings rather false. I'd rather "LOL botched attempt at a curry [pic] DH and I had a great laugh trying. What's the number for a decent takeaway?" than "Thoroughly enjoyed myself at Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons! Where will Hubby take me next I wonder?"

Why does it matter? Theres plenty of shit stuff in my life. But I don't air that in public. I just post nice pictures, things that have happened that are good or that I'm proud of. I don't need to post all the shit and get other people down. And I like to look back on all the good stuff. Wheres the issue with that?

Shocking true it may be a case of not what you say but how you say it.

My children don't get very many compliments so I suspect that I may repeat all of them.

Oh ok shockingly. I see that point. But theres not many people that use fb for a jolly big boast fest is there? The odd one. But most people are just, well, normal.

I know of a couple, Mysterious I'd agree it's a minority, but it does happen.

I think it's insecurity, but sometimes it's just plain weird. For example, if someone showed a picture and said "Me and Alfie playing about in the snow before tea!" (or dinner, or whatever you want to call it) most people would think "Aww!" With the details or really staged photos it becomes a bit, well, disturbing.

(I've got another objection which I feel deserves a thread to itself. People who post photos of their kids with chocolate/cake/yoghurt/etc smeared all over their faces. Why does anyone think this is appealing?)

Don't mind it from my friends on FB, but there are a couple of craft related blogs I read and I'm convinced they're there just there to make you feel inadequate. The ones who have 15 perfectly behaved, immaculate poppets who live in immaculate houses, and have time to photograph their lovely frothy coffee and homemade cake before knitting their own pony and putting poppets to bed. With freshly ironed sheets. Yes, I am bloody jealous.

It's funny, isn't it? On MN and Facebook, there are a few people who do the insecure bragging thing, but mostly I find that here we mostly hear the difficult side of people's relationships, while on FB we see the positive, hopeful and celebratory side. I don't think either is "wrong", or faked, but that some media lends itself to one kind of portrayal over the other. The big difference, I guess, is anonymity.