Dear DH - when you decided to...

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

help by loading the dishwasher last night (which is a pretty rare feat), did you mean to offload the leftover greek salad into the machine as well rather than turn 90 degrees and put it in the bin? Because I have spent all day clearing onion and cucumber out of the pipework and only now 6 washes later is it working.

This is what I would like to say to him in RL, but given that we have bickered all weekend, I think he might not be amused.

AIBU or should I be grateful that the intent was to be helpful (lighthearted)?

Anyone else have a seemingly helpful husband?

I would be sorry.

Sorry I hate these "he was trying to help but he's a bit clueless" threads. They give me the rage.

No excuse whatsoever for an adult to be so clueless. It is so pathetic and passive aggressive and deeply, deeply unsexy.

I would say to him "today, I have never wanted you more"

I would be so pissed off!

I presume he's older than 5, so he should know that your scrape the plates first!

Why didn't you leave it for him to clean?

loading the dishwasher without tipping lots of food into it is not a female skill, just a human one

And if it were me, yes, I can handle the tools.

Just this morning I took out a dishwasher and dismantled a cupboard in order to gain access to a leaky water pipe. Then, cos of what I found, I turned off the water and then..... called a plumber

It was horrible, they're coming back to dig up the floor cos the previous (male) owner was a DIY twat!

How is him clearing up his stuff being helpful?

Madrigals

Are you definging loading a dishwasher as a female skill?

I can't drill, nor can I embroider. What is your point?

defining not " defininging"

I can drill, embroider, knit, I'm pretty good at plumb

Oops! I'm pretty good at plumbing and I'm our designated Tiler of Floors.

I'm not sure a vagina or lack thereof has particularly equipped me for any of these, let alone the very basic ability to not put food in the dishwasher.

OP, I'd have killed him.

It depends - do you consider it an attempt to be 'helpful' because you have agreed on a split of jobs in which you are responsible for the dishwasher or because he does bugger all the rest of the time and lifting a finger around the house is such a rarity that you have come to think of it as a supremely special act?

If the former, then I would leave it. If the latter then I would leave him.

Madrigals - I really hope you aren't trying to defend the position that it seems you are. Could you elaborate on your post?

Why are you the one sorting out his mess ?

OP I'd have been seriously pissed off and I'd have left it for him to clean.

I also don't buy any of this crap about him doing it accidentally. He is a grown up? One that holds down an actual job I'm guessing? Of course he knew tipping the salad in the dishwasher was a stupid thing to do.

Did he load it with his penis? Is that why it's a female job?

FWIW I can drill, assemble flat-pack furniture and fix toilets. DH can wash up and clean. It's like a post-feminist love story in our house.

Should have left it for him to clean out.

Has he 'helped' load the dishwasher again tonight?

FFS Madrigals! That is one of the most shocking posts I have ever seen on here, and after 8 years believe me I've seen plenty.

Are you a woman? If so I am stunned.

arf @ MrsTP

Loading dishawashers with penises, tiling with fanjos. It's like some DIY sos porno on here.

Hmm. Speaking as the one who avoids cleaning the filter on the dishwater like the plague (cos it's icky and DH is lovely therefore does it when I play dumb and pretend it doesn't need do, it's possible he actually thinks it can deal with chunks of food. I did until I started being forced to clean the filter occasionally...

Oops posted too soon! Anyway, perhaps suggest he clean the filter occasionally when it's v gross?

I assume there are practical reasons why you've had to clean out all the crap, if not then I think YWBU to allow him to get away with being a selfish idiot.

not an accident.

He just wants to make sure you'll never ask him again.

Also, he does not have to deal with the clearing up of his messes.

So it works for him.

So why should he change?

You don't want to be the nagging wife, do you?

So shut up and put up.

OR...............

...

or...you could talk to him and explain, and expect him to do it more often?

SO he gets better at it

This thread is so depressing. I love Greek salad.