Dear DH - when you decided to...

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

help by loading the dishwasher last night (which is a pretty rare feat), did you mean to offload the leftover greek salad into the machine as well rather than turn 90 degrees and put it in the bin? Because I have spent all day clearing onion and cucumber out of the pipework and only now 6 washes later is it working.

This is what I would like to say to him in RL, but given that we have bickered all weekend, I think he might not be amused.

AIBU or should I be grateful that the intent was to be helpful (lighthearted)?

Anyone else have a seemingly helpful husband?

Well I can't drill or at least I have never tried. I am sure i could pick it up relatively easily. If I was to attempt it I would know not to drill into a wall through a plug socket for example because I am a reasonably intelligent grown up. Similiarly I would expect any adult with a modicum of common sense to realise that they can't tip a salad into a dishwasher because you know it's not a fucking bin. Would he chuck tea bags into it as well? I would expect someone to know this whether they were in possession of a penis or not.

madrigals I don't assume any tasks are male or female. As it happens I am a LP so yes I can wield a drill

As it happens I am not a helpless child.

Some people just don't think. Or they do, they're just thinking about something else more engaging. Like the time my mother poured a bucket of coal down the upstairs lav. What was most tragic is that she walked past the downstairs one to do it.

Didn't mean to imply that married people can't drill

Just that I don't have a man to drill even if I couldn't and neither does the op it seems

I was typing fast in shock at madrigals

Dear DH when you decided to... turn the gas supply off yesterday, did ut not occur to you to let me know? I planned a lovely quick meal using the gas hob but then had to think up a way to bake it in the electric oven. It took ages to cook that way. And I was worried about what was going on with the gas as that hasn't happened before. And as you have buggered off back to your job overseas, I am left to follow your sketchy directions to turn it on again.

No, not just you op! Mine also leaves teabags in the sink, which stain it.

I have a similarly 'helpful' husband. But he at least has the decency to clear up his own mess if he cocks something up! YANBU OP. My dad apparently used to do this as a child (he deliberately broke dishes/failed to clean them properly, DGM stopped asking him to do it. He still won't take responsibility for things...)

Am appalled at Madrigals attitude towards division of housework!

You do realise chocolatebiscuitcake that these days on mumsnet 'lighthearted' is not a phrase to be taken lightly!!!! Any sign of gender assigning and you will be mangled like a greek salad in a dishwasher!!!!

Ah, but if you have daughters, they do better academically if they see their dads (or male role model) do housework. This and bleach on every teabag stain is helping DH reassess his activities relating to helpfulness around the home. (Yes, I did try asking nicely, and I hate the whole PA crapola too).

Some of you lot are being done up like a kipper

Some of us are working on it.

I have said to my DH that the next time he puts a bottle of beer to "chill for 5 minutes" in the freezer and forgets about it, leaving the freezer and its contents covered in broken glass and jellified beer, I am taking the children [and me] out for tea and not cooking anything until he has SORTED IT BLOODY OUT.

Oddly enough he has not done it since. But he may have only done it once. (Once is enough)

But Madrigals you read gender stereotyping in the OP where there is none. If the OP had a lesbian partner who did this, I am sure the general thrust of her intended meaning would be the same. I.e. whose partners do things around the house which are counterproductive?

You talk about him like he's a 7 year old trying to 'help' Mummy by clearing up and getting it all wrong, aww shucks, god bless him...

How has he reached adulthood without knowing how to load a dishwasher? And why isn't he cleaning up the mess he made himself?

But madrigals there is no skill in loading a dishwasher, unlike sewing clothes or fixing a car. It's a simple matter of cleaning up after oneself and a reasonably competent child could manage it, with basic supervision.

Madrigals. You addressed me. I answered.

If you reread my post, the only gender reference I made was "he". Once. It was you that waded in with the assumption that I was sexist.

Nope. But if the cap fits.

And I referred to him as he because he's a man. Not to make a sexist assumption because he's a man

Yeah, I am a klutz (may be dyspraxic) too and DH does a much better job of stacking the dishwasher and hanging laundry than I do, but I try not to do thinga which will create more work for other people, if I can help it! It has taken me 20 years to get DH to stop hanging washing up out of my reach.

No excuse.What an idiot.