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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked man in communal showers. Totally stark bollock naked.

526 replies

tardisgirl68 · 10/05/2014 21:40

Not an AIBU cos really the title says it all. At massive local pool with group of five girls aged 10/11. Luckily they were showering in different area, I was waiting at lockers for them to come back and get changed. Bloke in the shower, nonchalantly steps out of his trunks and made big show of rinsing them out. I did a double take, then the slow burn whilst my brain tried to process what i was seeing Shock Angry . I nabbed a passing lifeguard and said "look!!!!" He was (after getting dressed) frogmarched out and told if he came back in they'd get police involved. Creep. My group of girls saw nothing but that was more luck than anything. shudders

OP posts:
ilovepowerhoop · 10/05/2014 21:59

he was scottish and AFAIK we dont all strip off in the communal showers. our showers face onto the swimming pool so there would be no privacy at all

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 10/05/2014 22:01

Human genitals aren't necessarily sexual however it's illegal to expose them in public. Public showers might not necessarily count as in public, however when they are mixed sex they definitely do.

Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 10/05/2014 22:01

hjw, okaaay, blimey.

OP posts:
Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 10/05/2014 22:03

He could have looked like David ruddy Beckham and I STILL would have thought it, odd and inappropriate. Kerrrist.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 10/05/2014 22:03

I am not at all self-conscious about the naked body. I happily strip and shower in front of my DS, my mum, other friends etc when appropriate.

We as a society deem it not acceptable to be naked on public - communal showers are public. You can't decide unilaterally that the general view (please not pretend it isn't the general view - even I who am unfazed by nudity that accept others don't think its appropriate in public) is wrong and assert your right to be naked in public.

And if you choose to assert that "right" then you will pretty soon get into trouble.

I have never met any scandinavians or central europians who struggle with this concept when visiting the UK.

Do you not all think it more likely that this guy (the only central european with a scottish accent) was just doing it as a version of flashing?

No wringing hands here either.

hjwhjw · 10/05/2014 22:04

Beckham is very much out of shape thought. #passedit

TucsonGirl · 10/05/2014 22:05

Should people have to act any differently in communal locker rooms than they do in single sex ones? That's a genuine quesion btw, because I'm not sure what I think about it. I do think some people are hung up about nudity, the more open we are about it the less shocking it is. I grew up with parents who would walk around naked a lot and I think it made me less uncomfortable with nudity. I don't know what I'd have thought if I was in the same circumstance as the OP. If it was seen to be the norm and there were several people stood around naked I don't think I'd have much of a problem with it tbh.

Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 10/05/2014 22:06

You've put that perfectly Kew Smile Exactly my thoughts too.

OP posts:
Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 10/05/2014 22:08

Tucsongirl I PROMISE you he was the only one in the nude!! It really really isnt the norm in my corner of Scotland. Really.

OP posts:
MargotLovedTom · 10/05/2014 22:08

He is being an exhibitionist and I can't believe if he was from the area, that he wouldn't be aware that it's not the norm to display your meat and two veg in public where there's children around.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/05/2014 22:09

Yanbu totalky inappropriate in a unisex communal shower

Kewcumber · 10/05/2014 22:10

I am totally relaxed about nudity, TucsonGirl. I have always changed, showered etc in front of DS and still do sometimes. He is going through a phase where he is mightily self conscious about both his body and other people and whilst I don't like it I respect his right as an individual to not be made uncomfortable by exhibitionists.

Where nudity is the norm I have absolutely no issue with it. Where it isn't the norm eg in communal showers in the UK, I do question someones motives behind insisting on it.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 10/05/2014 22:11

Yes Tucson I really think they should. I think it's inappropriate for adult men to shower naked next to 12 year old girls, or vice versa. Even if there wee no children present I think it's discourteous to get naked in mixed sex showers. Not everyone is comfortable with nudity, and that's not a failing when it's part of our cultural makeup.

Mybellyisaneasteregg · 10/05/2014 22:11

Did they have some non-communal showers anywhere? Did they have any single-sex showers?

I think they should have some no-nudity signs up in the communal shower area.

However given the circumstances it does sound as if he deserved to be frogmarched out and given a warning.

LaurieFairyCake · 10/05/2014 22:14

Yep, he's a pervert

Getting his cock out to flash it. No different than a weirdo in a Columbo raincoat tweaking the end so you look over.

Thatssofunny · 10/05/2014 22:15

To be honest, when I went to the spa for the first time here in the UK, I had to ask about the rules. My friends thought I was insane when I asked about whether I had to bring a swimming costume. Shock
It's quite normal to be naked in the spa where I grew up. I've seen my fair share of naked adults (both male and female) from an early age,...in the spa, at the beach, etc. It was never made out to be an issue and I don't generally consider it to be one. Doesn't mean I strut around naked in public.

If the bloke was, however, indeed quite Scottish, then he should have been aware of the rules here. Knob.

Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 10/05/2014 22:18

As far as I know, the showers are all open plan and communal. Some have views of the pool and some look onto the locker areas, where he was.

OP posts:
cjelh · 10/05/2014 22:19

I think its not even about OP seeing it, I should think its an offence to flash in front of children.

Mybellyisaneasteregg · 10/05/2014 22:20

So is there nowhere that you can shower naked then? Confused

Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 10/05/2014 22:22

No I'm pretty sure there are not any private enclosed showers, Ive always felt pretty clean after showering with my costume on, wouldnt occur to me to take it off.

OP posts:
Mybellyisaneasteregg · 10/05/2014 22:24

Now I feel a little sorry for the man.

I like to have a proper shower with soap and shampoo. I am glad we have a full range of shower options.

ICanSeeTheSun · 10/05/2014 22:26

I would make an exception for chaning Tatum, but in all serious nobody should be showing genitals in a public area.

MrsMaturin · 10/05/2014 22:28

The pool I use has separate areas for men and women. The norm is for people to keep their costume on though my daughters have been there when an older woman completely stripped off. They were a bit bemused by that but not frightened or threatened which they would be I'm sure in a communal area with a man stripping off. Same for young men with a woman stripping. It's NOT appropriate in a public, mixed sex setting.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 10/05/2014 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigChocFrenzy · 10/05/2014 22:51

In Scandinavia or Germany this would be normal in communal showers. People of all ages - toddlers, teens, .... 90-year-olds - are naked together, without collapsing in shame or starying a mass orgy.

Noone there is interested in the size / shape of anyone's knobbly, wobbly or hairy bits.
The first time I walked into a mixed sauna in Germany, I blinked (being an ignorant Brit I hadn't realised before !) then realised "ok, I've seen a willie before. So what ?"

Somehow in the UK, mixed nudity is associated with sex and molestation. Do we really have more pervs ?
Hmm