Naked man in communal showers. Totally stark bollock naked.

[tardisgirl68]

Not an AIBU cos really the title says it all. At massive local pool with group of five girls aged 10/11. Luckily they were showering in different area, I was waiting at lockers for them to come back and get changed. Bloke in the shower, nonchalantly steps out of his trunks and made big show of rinsing them out. I did a double take, then the slow burn whilst my brain tried to process what i was seeing . I nabbed a passing lifeguard and said "look!!!!" He was (after getting dressed) frogmarched out and told if he came back in they'd get police involved. Creep. My group of girls saw nothing but that was more luck than anything. shudders

Also, the people saying they shower when they get home don't seem to realise that many people swim BEFORE work so have to have a decent shower.

Just to add, my Mum has a PD and always tried clothes on in the shop, as opposed to going to the changing room, she enjoyed her "power" at being able to do this when others didn't.

There is a good reason why we should have respect for personal boundaries. One person may disrespect another's boundary by being over familiar, another would be downright abusive/cruel.

I once saw the naked rambler. He very nearly caused me to swerve off the side of a mountain in mid Wales

I have to admit that I would assume that as it was a shower it would be OK to be naked. If I saw other people wearing swimsuits I would assume that was their choice not the norm and would expect there to be a sign telling that, against my presumption, you have to wear a swimsuit when showering.

Clearly I am wrong, going by most people on this thread, but it is a bit of a surprise!

We were in Iceland on holiday last year and went to a local hot springs swimming pool. Women and men changed separately but the shock for me was that everyone showered in the big communal showering area naked before putting swimsuits on, and took them off to shower after too. I was very brave and joined in but would have had a real problem if I had been with anyone I knew lol. I wonder if this man was from a culture that also did this, he would not have realised it was wrong.

would people really go naked in the showers when people from the changing rooms and the pool can see them?? Fair enough if they were same sex showers and not in view of public places but not communal ones in full view of everyone.

Tabby the man was Scottish and probably knew fine well to keep his swimming shorts on.

I wouldn't go naked if everyone else had a costume on, but I often do abroad.

I guess like most people, I try to gauge the social norm and go with that.

Maybe this guy should have done that but I can't get that worked up about someone being nude in a shower if there was nothing sexual about it.

I honestly don't think I would have batted an eyelid but I can understand it might be different for other people.

It was the norm when I was growing up to laugh off seeing flashers as well. But I always found it terrifying. I remember taking a short cut to school through a small wooded area (usually quite busy) and a man was sat on a bench on the path. When I got closer it could see he was holding his penis and rubbing it. I was eleven years old, completely alone and very frightened. When I got to school I didn't tell anyone because I thought it was my own fault for walking alone. I couldn't stop washing my hands, I remember.

IME flashers take advantage of situations where they just miiigght have a legitimate reason to be naked (obvs not the situation above, but shorts 'falling down' in swimming baths or 'peeing' outdoors) so that victims are confused and unsure whether it was meant or not. I think the OP perhaps picked up a vibe from the guy and so did the staff.

I do get really fed up when people dismiss flashing as a comedy thing.

People get scared by flashers not because they are scared of the sight of a penis but because of the obvious intent behind the act which is to get a sexual kick out of forcing people to look at parts of them which are generally considered to be private.

Its not a genial "Oh look at me I'm so uninhibited", its a deliberate attempt to shock and get your rocks off.

Agreed kewcumber. Being scared and disgusted when a stranger showed me his penis did not mean I was an uptight Brit who just needed to hang around in saunas in Europe more often.

But this guy was literally just taking a shower, not jumping out at anyone, not dancing around, not puttimg it inanyones face. Just showering. In a shower.

I dont get all the comments like, he knew, hes a perve, he definitely was doing it on purpose..... You doht know that. There is no evidence for that. And its weird that you feel the need to make such an issue of it. Who was harmed by the naked dude, other than your sense of propriety?

I think we are traumatised in this country by our first experience of communal showers often being at school where you're herded, shivering and blue, into a horrible shower area desperately not trying to look at Sharon Blogg's boobs and wondering when yours will start growing, all overseen by a gimlet eyed games mistress.

No wonder we've got hang ups .

All I'm saying is, there's naked and there's naked. I know it when I see it, if you see what I mean!

A pool near us has communal showers but clothed (ie in swimwear) ones.
I think they are inappropriate and it makes me, as a grown woman, feel very uncomfortable when a man is juggling his wares within his budgie smugglers so he doesn't have to bother with a shower to wash his knackers at home.

An unrelated man does not shower naked in front of children in our culture.

Nothing will persuade me otherwise.

Grocklebox, I've not been in the commy for a few years but IME all the Edinburgh Leisure pools have signs up saying "no nude showering" or words to that effect. They're also generally pretty large shower areas in most cases and normally pretty busy (the commy especially, it's very popular). It would be very, very obvious to anyone walking in, even without seeing the signs, that the norm is NOT to shower nude in these areas.

Our "culture" would be massively improved by not being so hung up about nudity.

There is an odd man at our swimming baths who kept getting into the pool with the children doing their swimming lessons. He wore white, see through pants and the staff used to go mad. I am wondering if he has been banned though as I haven't seen him for a while.

I think nudity in a communal shower is unusual and it would be exhibitionism, mental illness or learning disability which would explain such a thing. If it's the latter than exceptions need to be made obviously

And how do you propose that should come about Nocomet ?

Fwiw I agree, but to prance about naked and for it to be culturally accepted is not something that will happen overnight -and his unilateral effort to educate children into this is unacceptable as things stand.

I remember the Commy pool had a sign in the ladies showers before the refubishment which said No Nude Showering or something like that, but there were private cubicles you could use if you wanted to take your costume off.

I can't remember if there is a similar sign since they did the building up.

We have a different culture here. To try and introduce communal nakedness would just mean many people would not use the showers.

My dad used to this on holiday (as did many other men) I don't think it was a social faux pas back then, but it is now, guy probably didn't get the memo yet.

I don'[t know what it is like in other parts of the country, but in Edinburgh it is very much the norm for children to go swimming with their chums, without an adult accompanying them.

No way is it appropriate for a man to be naked in front of any children, but even worse if they don't have an adult with them. Not every young girl is familiar with the adult male body just for starters.

And we have no idea what his motives were, beyond flouting the posted rules and showing off! But personally I find it really off - and I've not got a problem with nudity - where it is expected. Which is not at the Commy!

I don't think it's helpful to bring learning disabilities into the general discussion about appropriate behaviour by NT adults.

Friends have to constantly watch their ASD son (non verbal) because he seeks comfort when distressed by playing with himself. It was not so bad when he was little, but now he's an adult it's much more of a problem. they do everything they can to try to divert him, but it isn't easy and obviously they're really worried about the reactions of other people. Because most people won't actually be more tolerant of someone exposing themselves even if they have ASD/learning disability etc.

He's an exhibitionist, getting a kick out of pushing public boundaries. I'm sure everyone is aware there are private shower cubicles if you want to wash your genitals.

The weird ranting man hassling women in the pool I described in my thread last week - this also happened in Scotland. It wasn't the Commy Pool though.