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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy DP separate food?

123 replies

lola88 · 20/03/2014 09:47

because he eats so bloody much he's not leaving any for us?

It's cereal, biscuits, crisps and milk and it's driving me mad he seems to think all biscuits need to be eaten within 24 hours! I went to get DS some weetbix for breakfast and DP has eaten the last 4 not leaving DS one so then I decided to make DS porridge with honey and there's no honey, then I look in the fridge and there is not enough milk for porridge anyway. So Toast and nutella it was except there's so bloody nutella either!!! I only done a food shop on sunday. His excuse is there are other things we can eat but why should we not get some because he's so greedy!

AIBU to buy him his own things put his name on it and tell him when it's done he can't have ours? I'm sick of not being able to get a bloody custard cream when I want one.

OP posts:
oranges · 20/03/2014 09:48

that's just weird. to eat so much and not think for a moment that there is not enough left for a child.

Sirzy · 20/03/2014 09:51

I would tell him to stop being a greedy sod and remember the food is for everyone not just him

peedoffarama · 20/03/2014 09:52

My ex husband did this when dd was a baby; one morning I went to get her breakfast and found he'd eaten all the weetabix, all the porridge, all the bread and even her rusks! Selfish arsehole!

JonSnowIsAProperLover · 20/03/2014 09:52

Go for it.

Give him his own cupboard. Padlock yours if you have to.

KellyElly · 20/03/2014 09:53

That's totally out of order to not leave enough food for your child. Tell him to stop being so greedy and selfish!

Foxeym · 20/03/2014 10:01

Yanbu my ExH also used to do this. If I bought a pack of biscuits etc you could guarantee by the time I came in from work they would be gone. I used to get so annoyed thinking ooh I fancy such and such, going to the cupboard and finding nothing. I stopped buying it in the end

BumpyGrindy · 20/03/2014 10:28

Is he fat? I would personally hide things and not let him know. But also, you need to seriously address this with him OR ask him to subsidise his over-eating with more money.

Mintymoomoo · 20/03/2014 10:33

Hide food, my sister done this as her teenage boy could clear her out within hours of her weekly shop! She hid things like biscuits, crisps, pack lunch stuff so she had a bit of control over it and that it would last the week like she should!

My new house has a cupboard with lock fitted as standard one one kitchen unit, think it's actually a medicine/cleaning cupboard but I keep all the treats, pack lunch in it to

mrsjay · 20/03/2014 10:33

tell him to stop being such a greedy bastard there is other people in the house that need to eat the nice stuff too, why are you not at him to stop

worldgonecrazy · 20/03/2014 10:38

Eating all the crisps/biscuits may be slightly forgiveable if he has an eating disorder.

However, eating all the cereal and leaving nothing for you to feed your child with is unforgiveable.

I would stop buying crisps and biscuits for a few weeks so that he has to buy his own, and second the recommendation of a separate cupboard with padlock. He may think you are being unreasonable, but you are merely making sure your child has something healthy to eat, and that is definitely not unreasonable.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/03/2014 10:41

He's just a greedy pig OP.

CookieLady · 20/03/2014 10:41

That's disgusting behaviour. Tell him to buy his own food and keep it separate from yours and your children's food. Greedy fucker.

HighwayRat · 20/03/2014 10:43

I'd go mental if dp did this!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/03/2014 10:43

There's no way that I'd start hiding food from a partner, I'm not his mother. I would pull him up on his greed and tell him that I've bought x-amount, it's to be shared and if he wants more than his share, he goes and buys it separately.

I think this is awful behaviour and it needs stepping on quickly because children pick up on it and that's when hoarding/greediness can set in.

littlewhitebag · 20/03/2014 10:46

We had Bananagate in our house at the weekend. There were only two bananas left in the bowl so being a kind and thoughtful person i didn't have one with my breakfast thinking i would let DH and DD have one each. DH ate one banana before walking the dog then without a thought for anyone else, ate the second one later. This not the first time he has eaten things without giving anyone else consideration.

I went mad at him because i spend a lot of time and effort, buying, checking, counting food items to make sure we have enough then he just eats anything willy nilly.

I took him food shopping on Sunday and made him choose his own food and told him he could only eat those thing he had chosen. I have not prepared any food at all for him this week and i think it has made him stop and think about the effort that goes into shopping and cooking.

quietbatperson · 20/03/2014 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fieldfare · 20/03/2014 10:51

Op that's ridiculous, he's being greedy and thoughtless!

Dh can be a bit thoughtless when having snacks, that's why I put a big larder cupboard in the garage and put half the snacks and packed lunch things in there. I only bring them in the house when we need them as otherwise they'd vanish too quickly. If we run out I text him a list and he has to go to the shops on his way home from work.

JRmumma · 20/03/2014 10:53

Why do men not seem to understand food budgeting/planning/sharing etc? Seems to be quite common.

I'm sure my DH thinks that the fridge is magical and replenishes itself. As someone said above, there is no consideration of the planning that goes into shopping and budgeting and making sure i don't have to run to the shops every day.

YANBU.

gamerchick · 20/03/2014 10:58

I have a big walk in cupboard upstairs which most of the stock is put. The kitchen just holds the necessary.

Even though they know the cupboard there and it isn't locked.. If it's not in the kitchen then it doesn't exist in my familys eyes ~ too much effort for them.

However, nobody should have to go to extremes but I would probably hide the bairns stuff it's too annoying.

Joysmum · 20/03/2014 10:58

Sounds like our house, except we all do it. I don't buy biscuits or sweet things because none of us have the control we'd like to.

I have a policy that I keep spares of none perishable things, which is really useful if we are having a tight month, and when somebody finished something then they add it to the shopping list but we don't tend to run out of anything non-perishable.

Perishables are more difficult. I always keep bread and fruit in and they can be left to go off. The following week a loaf of bread can be gone in a morning so it's the shift in tastes that gets me. They have to tell me when there's not much left for me to add it to the list. If they don't, I send them out to buy it as I refuse to take up the slack.

Scholes34 · 20/03/2014 11:00

It sounds like something from The Tiger who came to tea. He's insensitive to the needs of others in the household, and this is what you need to work on, not hiding food/buying separate food.

JonSnowIsAProperLover · 20/03/2014 11:01

Why do men not seem to understand food budgeting/planning/sharing etc? Seems to be quite common.

Good point.

I mean plan.

I once found DP munching through a pack of pepperoni earmarked for pizza.

Hmm
Losthearts · 20/03/2014 11:11

Is he overweight?

Does he get low blood sugar?

SelectAUserName · 20/03/2014 11:12

If he eats it, he should replace it.

Fairylea · 20/03/2014 11:15

We're all a bit like this at ours too. We all eat way too many snacks and everything else really. None of us are overweight, we just graze non stop. The only way I've found to deal with it is to bulk buy masses of stuff from aldi so it's relatively cheap (cheaper than tesco) so there's always loads if stuff about. Not economical though! !