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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy DP separate food?

123 replies

lola88 · 20/03/2014 09:47

because he eats so bloody much he's not leaving any for us?

It's cereal, biscuits, crisps and milk and it's driving me mad he seems to think all biscuits need to be eaten within 24 hours! I went to get DS some weetbix for breakfast and DP has eaten the last 4 not leaving DS one so then I decided to make DS porridge with honey and there's no honey, then I look in the fridge and there is not enough milk for porridge anyway. So Toast and nutella it was except there's so bloody nutella either!!! I only done a food shop on sunday. His excuse is there are other things we can eat but why should we not get some because he's so greedy!

AIBU to buy him his own things put his name on it and tell him when it's done he can't have ours? I'm sick of not being able to get a bloody custard cream when I want one.

OP posts:
Foodylicious · 20/03/2014 18:13

Afriad I was initially a bit outraged for you but it does sound like you just need to buy more food when you go shopping - and by you and mean both of you, not just you!

he has been thoughtless so needs reminding about that, but if you are just running out of food before the next shop you just need to get more.
Oh and if he does eat the 'last' of something, just send him to the shop!

Also would either of you have time to go more than once a week? perhaps he could do a mid-week little shop to top up on what you have run out of.
If you just buy it all at once will he just eat it because he can see it?

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 20/03/2014 18:17

I have a cupboard upstairs that I keep the goodies in, a select amount come down to the kitchen cupboard and when they go they go. This is because I have 2 older DS's who have hollow legs. DH is the least of the problems. If the cupboard is full they just eat if its not they don't seem to worry so I keep a control on how much 'junk' is consumed, there is always fruit, bread and cereal, yoghurt etc which is clearly less exciting to them as crisps and biscuits.

Foodylicious · 20/03/2014 18:17

bonTemps 22, 21 & 16! what are they doing to be at home to get through that much food??? are they at college or work?

My brothers were like this, they did not get the concept of meals or meal planning and would just eat and graze throughout the day.

If any of them are working full or even part time they should be paying some housekeeping surely!

TheoriginalMrsDarcy · 20/03/2014 18:22

If I were you, I would hide a secret stash of food for just you and your baby, for emergencies. No matter how many times you try and teach him to stop eating everything in sight, men will never learn.

My other half is the same. I buy food to last a week and he has this irresistible urge to eat 50% of my shopping within 2 days!

Mintyy · 20/03/2014 18:22

He's eating a fantastically unhealthy diet! He may not be overweight but all that junk food is so bad for him. If he is hungry enough to need to snack he should be eating things like a sandwich or a glass of milk and toast, not crisps, biscuits and puddings.

Titsalinabumsquash · 20/03/2014 18:24

This is an incredibly sexist thread.

I know a few women that do this too. It's not a 'man thing' Hmm

WillieWaggledagger · 20/03/2014 18:25

can you buy more protein-based things? dp is a teacher and he will graze on loads during school holidays (much less during term time due to lack of opportunity), but if he has breakfast that includes protein like eggs on toast with butter he is much less likely to need to eat more before lunch time. carby/sugary stuff just goes straight through him

dp is a big rugby player so it doesn't go on as fat, but his eating habits are much better if he makes sure he gets a decent amount of protein and fat at meal times

WillieWaggledagger · 20/03/2014 18:26

i know protein stuff like meat can be more expensive, but think how much you're spending on crisps, cereal, snacky stuff

thegreylady · 20/03/2014 18:26

The answer is one cupboard with a lock :)

CountessOfRule · 20/03/2014 18:30

I can't believe how much he's eating. He might be burning it off now but he's shredding his liver and it won't be long before his nutrient-free diet catches up with him.

Could he bear to reduce his snacks and eat bigger meals made of real food?

FunkyBoldRibena · 20/03/2014 18:33

There is alot of crap in that lot you are buying; I'd stop buying the things that he is scoffing and start getting apples, noranges, wraps, more veg etc etc and stop enabling this behaviour. And get more porridge and milk in.

pussycatdoll · 20/03/2014 18:36

Oh I solved this problem

Dh now does the weekly shop

He knows exactly how much stuff costs & how long it lasts !!

BonTemps · 20/03/2014 19:06

Foodylicious, the two eldest have 0 hour contracts and have had no work for two weeks, the 16yo is at college, so it's mainly the older 2, they can't sign on either, they have been told as they have contracts, even 0 hour they are still employed, it's not their fault and when they do work they do pay, 50 a week each.

I work 2 full time jobs just to keep a roof over our heads, let alone feed us all.

Foodylicious · 20/03/2014 19:16

Sad bontemps that sounds really tough

even now when we are all at home visiting my folks together one of the first things my brothers often do is open the fridge and have good look and rummage around. even the ones that moved out years ago

One of the first things us girls end up doing when we are there is go shopping!

so much for not being sexist/conforming to stereotypes Grin

Hope your boys have luck in finding better contracts in the future, unfortunately these 0 hr contracts seem to be on the rise

BonTemps · 20/03/2014 19:32

Thanks Foodylicious, I know my brothers were the same, but one of my brothers does all the shopping now and loves to do it, so much so my SIL went with him last week and nearly died when she saw the price of baked beans Grin , she hadn't been food shopping in three years, and nearly drove my brother round the bend, with her shouting HOW MUCH!! every time he put something in the trolley.

He said never again he's banned her completely.

EurotrashGirl · 20/03/2014 20:37

My dad used to do this to a certain extent. I still don't know why my mo didn't bludgeon him for it!

EurotrashGirl · 20/03/2014 20:40

*mother

Original poster
lola88 · 20/03/2014 21:12

I don't have enough money to do 2 shops a week I'm already blowing my food budget getting the things he asks for. I'm not willing to cut back on things for DS and I so he can eat more. He eats 3 meals a day tonight dinner was 200g of gammon and 200g of mash with 3 yorkshire puddings and he has a fish supper for lunch!!

It's not even him eating that's the main problem it's him eating all the goodies without bothering to leave any treats for us. I think the amount I buy is quite a lot for one person to be eating in 3 or 4 days no one should eat 12 packs of crisps and 5 packs of biscuits in that time.

OP posts:
foreverondiet · 20/03/2014 21:21

If he's doing a manual job, and isn't overweight then sounds like he needs that much food so buy more - especially weetabix. How about putting your DS's in a tin and asking your DP not to eat from the tin.

Foodylicious · 20/03/2014 22:13

If you can't afford it don't buy any crisps & biscuits for the cupboard and buy more cereal perhaps?
Could you treat yourself and DS to little bits when you are out instead of having them at home?
I was confused as you said he pays for the food - can he give you a bigger budget if he is asking for specific things?

nickelbabe · 21/03/2014 11:18

he definitely needs more protein.
the worst thing for extra calories is crisps and biscuits!

nickelbabe · 21/03/2014 11:22

it's important that he eats a good breakfast - so a full english is much better for him than 3 bowls of weetabix.
he needs a big lunch, too, so sandwiches isn't good enough. He needs to be sent in with something that looks more like a sunday dinner! maybe a big meaty chunky stew and massive chunks of bread?
then your normal dinner

expatinscotland · 21/03/2014 11:36

He's an adult! All this talk about what SHE needs to do and 'send him in' with is ridiculous!

He eats too fucking much and they cannot afford it.

S don't buy it, OP.

He wants it, he goes and buys it himself.

mrsjay · 21/03/2014 12:01

what expat just said op you dont need to buy extra food for him he needs to curb his eating he is a greedy selfish adult not a growing lad

TravelinColour · 21/03/2014 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.