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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that dh has a secret facebook and that must mean the worst?

133 replies

hidinginoblivion · 16/02/2014 18:07

I deleted my FB account a few months (permanently deleted it) and today I decided to create a new one, out of boredom/interest etc.

I started adding people I know when a mutual friend came up - dh. The mutual friends I had in common are his two close friends and his brother. DH already has an account, one which I was friends with before and re-added. This is an entirely separate one - he is using a shortened version of his name and the profile photo is a very recent one. I can't see anything else as it's private.

I can see his main one with all friends and family etc. I asked my friend to have a look on her account and I sent her the link and it just comes up with page missing.

aibu to think the worst? dh is currently working away and ... I don't want to ask him because it would be all too easy to delete.

OP posts:
LAlady · 16/02/2014 18:48

My friend has set up an account just for entering competitions (no friends on it) and a separate one for friends & family. My DH has one for business and a separate personal one. Could it be something like that?

Viviennemary · 16/02/2014 18:50

A fake account for snooping. Shock How does that works. Thinks MI6

YellowDinosaur · 16/02/2014 18:50

I wouldn't friend request him. Or he can delete anything suspect then accept. And set up another private account that you're blocked from.

Present him with a screenshot and ask him to his face, with no warning, why he has a second private account. If it's all innocent he'll give you a reasonable explanation and show you the account. If he gets defensive and asks why don't you trust him you have your answer. Unless you are someone who has a history of making unjustified accusations anyway.

Lweji · 16/02/2014 18:51

First of all, I'd save the evidence, then ask about it.

YouTheCat · 16/02/2014 18:51

Surely if he was up to something devious he would have blocked the OP to begin with?

Greenkit · 16/02/2014 18:51

I deleted my FB account a few months (permanently deleted it)

I want to know how you do this? I have two accounts, one I set up but never use and my normal one. I tried to deactivate it, but accidently keep logging on drives me mad.

YellowDinosaur · 16/02/2014 18:52

I totally trust my dh by the way and would usually be in the 'it's probably innocent' team. This time it might or might not be but by taking him by surprise with a simple, non accusatory question I think his response will be very telling.

somethingwillturnup · 16/02/2014 18:58

Greenkit there is an option to permanently delete, but if you log back in within two weeks it reactivates it. You need to take the peramanently delete option and then not log into it for a fortnight - I left it for 3 weeks just to make sure and it was permanently gone.

ButICantaloupe · 16/02/2014 18:58

YouTheCat OP has only just created the new acco

somethingwillturnup · 16/02/2014 18:59

Peramanently? Permanently obv

ButICantaloupe · 16/02/2014 18:59

*account

Picturesinthefirelight · 16/02/2014 18:59

I set up another account in my maiden name when I used to play zoo for sending animals. The only friends I have are other game playing ones.

VelmaD · 16/02/2014 19:04

My boyfriend has two accounts. Several friends and family are friends with him on both. Im not. One is full of stuff to do with his hobby and work. The one im friends with is full of the soppy shite I tag him in.

I would say its a little weird your friend can't see it. Could you add him, see what happens?!

KippyVonKipperson · 16/02/2014 19:08

Sorry, me again.... I'm with harriet, I bet it's a cloned account. His friends and brother probably accepted the friendship request thinking it was genuine. They then probably had their accounts cloned too. Perhaps that's why your friend can't see it. Doubt he would have bothered to block all your friends. If you ask him and he knows nothing about it, then I bet it's a clone.

CSIJanner · 16/02/2014 19:11

There is a setting FB where only friends of friends can see your account. I guess you're friends with BIL? The. You can see if whereas if your friend isn't friends with BIL, then she couldn't. Could that be a possible explanation as to why she can't see it.

But agree with PP - screenshot and ask.

roughtyping · 16/02/2014 19:11

If your friend has no mutual friends with the account, she won't be able to see it if he's set his privacy settings that way

mercibucket · 16/02/2014 19:20

i dont see why it has to mean the worst

i have another fb for work. i doubt i ever mentioned it to dh. i do have a few non work friends on there.

Greenkit · 16/02/2014 19:36

somethingwillturnup Thank you

Sorry for the thread hijack

Caitlin17 · 16/02/2014 19:53

I don't see the point of -Facebook but as Jojanesays one occasionally needs an account for other reasons.

I probably have at least 3 maybe more(all with nothing on them)as it's easier to create a new one on the few occasions I've needed it than to dig out my book of passwords from wherever it's been mislaid.

Original poster
hidinginoblivion · 16/02/2014 20:12

I friend requested it and now its gone. I did however take a screenshot.

I've called and sent a text but heard nothing back yet.

OP posts:
RedFocus · 16/02/2014 20:21

Very suspect I'm afraid op. Secret fb accounts rarely are there for a innocent reason I'm afraid.

meganorks · 16/02/2014 20:21

Maybe it is so he can be as disgusting, foul mouthed and offensive as he likes with his close mates without upsetting random colleagues, his mum, casual acquaintances etc.

YellowDinosaur · 16/02/2014 20:23

Disappearing account after your friend request plus not answering phone / text (presumably on same device he is on fb) has my spidey sense twitching I'm afraid... :(

NoArmaniNoPunani · 16/02/2014 20:27

Has it gone or has he blocked you?

Icelollycraving · 16/02/2014 20:29

That doesn't sound good. If it was a cloned page,that would have been very odd timing not likely
Hope you feel ok.

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