to not make her a seperate meal?

[fairy1303]

DSD lives here full time.

She is currently having a massive meltdown because I have told her we are having... shock horror... CASSEROLE for dinner.

We have this about once a month, it's cheap, easy, healthy.
I know she doesn't like it.

I have said that is what we are having, no I won't make a seperate meal.
She is telling me not to serve her any. She doesn't want it. She is crying because she 'isn't allowed any dinner'. She has phoned MIL to tell her. She is about to phone my mum to tell her too. She has phoned daddy at work to tell him.

Now, I'm pretty strict. I'm also aware of the wsm stuff.

AIBU to say: that is what we are having. There will be nothing else?

Or am I being too hard on her?

She's 8

Offer her a very plain alternative - beans on toast, Weetabix, a cheese sarnie.
She won't starve.
Eight is a prime age for being a drama queen.

Oh fairy I'm scared for you, what will MIL do?!

Depends on how often she does this. If it's every night then fine. If it is only over casserole, then yes, you're being unfair. As has been suggested, a plain alternative; omlette, scrambled eggs on toast, etc.

I second Dido's proposal. Tell her that her plain preferred option IS dinner and will be eaten at the table like everyone else's.

Personally I think that is pretty mean. I know what a pain it is when people don't like stuff, I really do. However, how would you feel if your DH/DP made an evening meal that he knew you didn't like?

It would be hard for an 8 year old to fix something herself so she is stuck.

Tonight we are having casserole and my veggie daughter is having a bit of frozen salmon that I have bunged in the oven. One more thing to do but I do it.

Try and think of a food you hate and imagine having to eat it. Horrible isn't it?

I wouldn't be offering other choices

Nor would I be letting her phone people to complain

Ignore her, make a cup of tea, look distracted - give no attention. Then try to distract her by putting something funny on the tv on and laughing along.

I know this is not the subject but, veggie daughter eating salmon? Am I missing something?

Er AnyFindingIdeas - take the salmon out the oven

It's not 'veggie' she will go spare!

In fairness it is mostly over casserole, and a few other things, hence my AIBU as I was wavering!

bigorange - I have deliberately not clarified to MIL what is going on - I just let DSD tell her 'but granny I'm not allowed any dinner!!! No, not even any PUDDING!!! And I'm HUNGRY!!! What are you having for dinner granny?? Oh... I LOVE sausages!!'

I'm expecting SS to knock on the door at any minute!

I don't think it's unreasonable of her not to like one particular meal, if I knew ds didn't like a specific food, I'd not give it to him.

I also agree with the beans on toast thing.

If she genuinely doesn't like it I would make her something else.

I don't eat food I don't like.

Lol at the veggie eating salmon

"Could she have some wafer thin ham, Barbara?"

Of course YABU.

Why are you forcing her to have a meal you know she hates?

I was thinking the same thing re salmon!!

We are having veggie casserole.

See, I personally think if someone makes you a meal, even if you don't like it you try your best, dietry requirements aside.
But, like I said, I'm strict.

So far the conversation has gone like this: DSD: 'well, I'm not having any. I don't want it' me: oh dear, well you might feel hungry. That's your choice'

Over and over again since school kick out.

Might offer her something easy. But I'm not happy about it!

Starving kids in Africa and all that! (when did I become my mother?!)

Loling at wafer thin ham!!

would it really be so difficult to make her something quick and simple that she DOES like..

if you only have it once a month, why make it on the day she is there when you know she doesnt like it??

I still think you are being unreasonable.

No need to be Strict for the sake of it.

I'd just bung a couple of fish fingers in the oven. But then see, I hate casserole too and have a dreadfully fussy eating child, so you might be best to ignore me .

DD doesn't like stew. I put hers on a plate with the meat in one pile, potatoes in another, carrots in another and so on. She eats it all without complaint. Would that work?

(If she really doesn't like it then I'd bung in a pizza or make beans on toast rather than push this issue - my mum once made me sit a the table with a plate of tomatoes for 4 hours..... I'm 41 now and still won't eat them.)

Why should she eat food she dislikes? I wouldn't cook a meal for myself that I hate so I don't expect my dc to eat food they dislike, seems a really mean thing to do.

Sorry

Pick your battles.

I do not put up with faddy eating - well didn't, they're older now. But if you know she doesn't like it then yes, you are being unreasonable to not offer something else. Everybody has things they don't like. You sound very harsh.

Have you found the lid yet, Fairy ?

But knowing she hated casserole, I would make her something else. Everyone is allowed one thing they just won't eat. For DS it's lettuce, so if we are having a salad I'll do him some plain veg out the freezer instead.

"I personally think if someone makes you a meal, even if you don't like it you try your best, dietry requirements aside."

er no.. if the person hasnt tried it before, then that would be fair enough, but if she genuinely doesnt like it, then why force it.. that sounds to me like you are trying to create a drama, not the child.

Dd hates chilli, no matter how mild. So I have her share and she has tomato soup with the dipping bread instead. No big deal.