to not make her a seperate meal?

[fairy1303]

DSD lives here full time.

She is currently having a massive meltdown because I have told her we are having... shock horror... CASSEROLE for dinner.

We have this about once a month, it's cheap, easy, healthy.
I know she doesn't like it.

I have said that is what we are having, no I won't make a seperate meal.
She is telling me not to serve her any. She doesn't want it. She is crying because she 'isn't allowed any dinner'. She has phoned MIL to tell her. She is about to phone my mum to tell her too. She has phoned daddy at work to tell him.

Now, I'm pretty strict. I'm also aware of the wsm stuff.

AIBU to say: that is what we are having. There will be nothing else?

Or am I being too hard on her?

She's 8

If you know someone doesn't like something then why would you force them to eat it?

Would YOU eat a meal you didn't like? Would you expect your DH to eat a meal he doesn't like?

YABU

I never eat food I don't like either, Why would you?

My lovely boy - that's precisely it! I do not want to be the sort of parent cooking everyone something seperate! As someone up thread says - we all have our favourites - her favourite is something I'm not keen on - I still make it for the family because it's HER FAVOURITE!

It's not about making food a battle of wills - it's about teaching children to fit in with others.

I'd make her something simple. Nothing worse than being served a meal you dislike. I have to cook twice most evenings as my children don't tend to like what we are having. Tonight I have cooked a spicy chilli to eat when my partner gets home from work this evening. My children are six and four and don't like it so I have cooked them something quick and simple. It is a pain though and I feel a slave to the kitchen but I really don't know what the solution to it all to be honest!

And I have noticed that you post about many issues with your stepdaughter and your MIL.. this sort of mountain out of a molehill issue is the type of thing which just keeps the problem going.

But sometimes in a family who haven't got an unlimited budget, dinner is something cheap that the children aren't keen on. That's just ordinary life, isn't it? That's the point-for most of us, there isn't the money for lots of variety and different options and always doing the stuff the kids like, so the children have to accept eating stuff they don't much like, at least some of the time.

Yes, I would eat a meal I didn't like if someone had made it for me. And yes I would expect DH to too.

I wouldn't make someone a separate meal, child or adult.

The only time I might make dd something else would be if a. I'd messed the food somehow or burnt it, b. I'd planned to do this in the first place for some reason (i.e. did have enough of one thing or another) or c. I'd cooked enough for two nights and she had tried to eat it the first time.

Sorry I do think YABU

She's 8, she's hungry and she doesn't like casserole (which you already seem to know)

Make her a quick alternative

Are you making sure she is getting protein ? What is the protein in your casserole

As a veggie you can eat what you like
As a mother your kids can eat your way?
As a step mum you fed the kids what they need to grow if that means cooking meat so be it.

Oh you cruel stepmother, providing nutritious home cooked winter warmers! How do you sleep at night?

Ignore all the people telling you that you're being mean. She's having a strop because today she doesn't much fancy the idea of casserole. That is all.

Would I serve someone a meal I knew they didn't like? No. The fact that she is a child is no different to me. The original post states that "I know she doesn't like it" - therefore, why would you make it for her and offer no alternative?

Would you do the same if it was your husband? Yourself? You parent? A visitor?

It seems very unfair to me to erve something that you know they do not like.

Why could she not have a simple alternative - a sandwich maybe? beans on toast?

I don't like meat. Therefore I do not eat it. Haven't done since I was 12/13 years old. I do not cook it for myself, and wouldn't eat it at anyone else's house - I tell people in advance that I don't eat meat. I'd be pretty upset if someone - especially my parent - told me that that was all there was to eat and if I didn't like it, then tough, I could do without.

*squeakytoy - are you deliberately trying to be antagonistic or is that just your way? I think your last post was very unfair.

You really have no idea about my life.

No,if they genuinely didn't like something I would let them have a bowl of cereal or beans on toast.

I wouldn't force any one to eat something they didn't like.

People who make multiple meals each night catering for different tastes are bonkers.

Considering the amount of threads you start, I would say I have a fair idea of your life.. and as someone who has been a stepmother myself for 15 years, I also know the difficulties that it involves.

PS this will be really unpopular comment but I think "not liking" certain things is bs. You can have preferences but can't dismiss something that is a recognised meal like casserole as inedible.

(exception I would make would be for bought processed foods, liked tinned spaghetti or ready meals, which don't count as a food in my book!)

What are you letting her ring people up to whine about not having any dinner for?!
I have two kids. Between them, there's always something in some dish that one of them doesn't like.
Getting them BOTH to like the same dish at the same time is getting to be a bigger and bigger challenge!
We rotate dinner menus. Different things on different days so everyone gets their favourite.
I am NOT cooking two lots of dinner, that's ridiculous. If they're hungry, they'll eat. If not they know where the toaster is.

I couldn't care less that's she's a stepmother.

So, is the info in the OP incorrect?

It states "I know she doesn't like it."

Now it seems "Well she normally eats it"

Which is it?

I can put my hand on my heart and tell you OP that I'm a polite person.

But I absolutely couldn't eat liver or kidney for example, no matter who had cooked it for me or how long they'd taken to cook it.

You know your DSD. You know whether she could eat it if she tried, or whether she'd gag it up.

So really only you know whether you're BU or not.

As many people pointed out, not "liking it" isn't the same as hating it and being unable to eat it. And she eats it often, albeit whinging.

If you start offering alternatives and follow that line of thought I can only imagine what would ensue; no vegetables/salad/fruit etc. because she "doesn't like them".

I think you're getting unfair stick fairy- it sounds like she's trying it on, and in my house she'd just go hungry then (esp it's something she will eat but doesn't love). And I say this as a previously v fussy eater. I refuse to allow my children to be as fussy as I was - it was such a pain to learn to eat properly in my late teens/early 20s.

There is lots of protein in the casserole - lentils, veggie sausages etc.
Longjane - given that her mother doesn't feed her at all, I think I'm doing a slightly better job than her.

I have said now lots of times I will give her something else simple.

kids need to respect the food on the table. The meal is healthy and good nutrition. The child is being difficult for the sake of it. I would ignore and continue with the dinner plans. Let her phone and make a fuss. No one can complain about casserole