to not make her a seperate meal?

[fairy1303]

DSD lives here full time.

She is currently having a massive meltdown because I have told her we are having... shock horror... CASSEROLE for dinner.

We have this about once a month, it's cheap, easy, healthy.
I know she doesn't like it.

I have said that is what we are having, no I won't make a seperate meal.
She is telling me not to serve her any. She doesn't want it. She is crying because she 'isn't allowed any dinner'. She has phoned MIL to tell her. She is about to phone my mum to tell her too. She has phoned daddy at work to tell him.

Now, I'm pretty strict. I'm also aware of the wsm stuff.

AIBU to say: that is what we are having. There will be nothing else?

Or am I being too hard on her?

She's 8

The DSD lives with OP full time. Casserole is a cheap, easy to prepare and nutritious family dinner.

At age 8 I think DSD is quite old enough to prepare a simple meal of beans on toast for herself, with a bit of supervision. No drama.

Squeakytoy - she lives here. I haven't 'picked a day I know she will be here '- there is not a day when she is not here.

She normally eats the casserole. She usually winges a bit at the thought but then eats it. She doesn't hate it that much.

I think she is just pushing for the sake of it.

Obviously I'm not going to let her starve!

I agree with making just one nice meal and she can like it or lump it

She is also old enough to make herself beans on toast with no help

My son doesn't like lasagne I wouldn't dream of dishing it up for him

You've said yourself she's expressed her dislike for casserole before and you say it's mainly casserole she makes a fuss about

Don't give it to her but give her something .. Even if it's just toast

Yabu

If it's something she doesn't love but doesn't hate then I'd not offer an alternative. If it's something she hates then I'd offer an alternative.

In my house I don't give people good they hate but we each have our own favs that the other 2 are indifferent to and we all know its tough, we eat it anyway knowing that we need to put up with the tastes of others to get our own favs offered up.

There seems to be a trend towards people expecting to love everything they eat or else throwing their toys out of the pram and I don't subscribe to that.

If she doesn't like, I would make her something else, oven is already on so not a problem.

I wouldn't a meal I didn't like, where as my DH ate my favourite boxing day meal of cold meats and bubble and squeak for 13 years, before he told me he didn't like bubble and squeak

Making something you know she doesn't like and trying to force her to eat it is nasty. This isn't about the food, it's about control. I'm not surprised she is upset.

In my house the only alternative to a meal rejected, ever, is bread and butter.

But then I am evil.

Oh well, if she normally eats it then it's just a strop.

Also, casserole isn't really a think to hate. You might hate an ingredient such as peppers or not eat meat. But how can you hate all casserole. There are so many different types. Casserole is the name of the dish, rather than the recipe. Put it in a frying pan and call it something else!

We get this with DS, he is fussy, he knows he is fussy and that it causes problems and doesn't like that fact, but he really cannot force down things he doesn't like, which tends to include plain food like casseroles. I would make an alternative, but nothing tricky, just a sandwich or something. I would rather have him at the table happily eating something than a standoff and a starving boy.

Oh come on - about control?!?!

She is winging for the sake of it. She normally eats it. It is hardly Fucking poison, we are skint, I am tired and it is easy and nutritious.

I have just said I will make her something simple.

But no, I don't like her throwing her toys out of the pram because it is not her favourite meal.

For example - she genuinely really hates shepherds pie - I wouldn't make that for her.

She also has a thing about 'vegetarian food' - I am veggie and most meals I cook are veggie (she has meat at school and when DH cooks) and she will often complain about veggie food - I made spag bol the other day, told her it was meat - it was 'the best thing ever'!

She is 8 years old!

You said in your OP' I know she doesn't like it'

Well I wouldn't offer an alternative meal, but I am mean.

I just won't go down the route if doing this, with five kids I would end up cooking extra meals all the bloody time!

But my children don't have any sn's or sensory issues or allergies etc, some children do have strong aversions etc.

But your update makes it sound like she is trying it on! And I wouldn't have allowed her to call and moan about it, tho tbh my parents would have laughed.

I don't think Op has made a meal she hates, just one which isn't her favourite, which is entirely different. I wouldn't offer any other options, either: if she is really hungry, she'll eat it, especially as she does normally. Even if she doesn't eat it, missing one meal won't hurt her.

Why on earth is she allowed to phone round people telling them she doesn't like the meal?!!!

Ps, my kids will eat anything at all almost but then I've never let them be picky. I offer them one dish but don't make a song or dance of it if they don't want it. It's a non issue and nothing else is given.

I think your SD is actually being quite rude in her behaviour - ringing people telling them you are starving them. If you have made the effort to cook a dish for her,then the least she could do is be polite in how she declines eating.

YABU

You know she doesn't like it so why give it to her?

What food do you not like OP? Everyone has something they don't like, wouldn't you get fed up if someone kept feeding you something you didn't like to eat.

I just don't understand parents[and step parents!] who make big issues over food, making it into a battle of wills. It is all a bit pathetic IMO.

Not liking something is different to hating it.

I quite often eat food I don't particularly like. That's life.

Feel for you, must be quite draining. I have the attitude 'this it what we are having for dinner and that's that. My friend has to cook separate meals for one of her kids when she kicks off. I personally would not do it. Good luck

I'm not mean or evil.

I don't get the bragging about being an evil or mean mum either.

Attention seeking - the dinner is as it is.

I never eat food I don't like.

I wasn't bragging, I was being flippant. I am far from evil, clearly.

I quite often eat food I don't particularly like. That's life.

Not in my life it isnt. If I dont like something I dont eat it.