to not make her a seperate meal?

[fairy1303]

DSD lives here full time.

She is currently having a massive meltdown because I have told her we are having... shock horror... CASSEROLE for dinner.

We have this about once a month, it's cheap, easy, healthy.
I know she doesn't like it.

I have said that is what we are having, no I won't make a seperate meal.
She is telling me not to serve her any. She doesn't want it. She is crying because she 'isn't allowed any dinner'. She has phoned MIL to tell her. She is about to phone my mum to tell her too. She has phoned daddy at work to tell him.

Now, I'm pretty strict. I'm also aware of the wsm stuff.

AIBU to say: that is what we are having. There will be nothing else?

Or am I being too hard on her?

She's 8

Lentils are horrible, I don't blame her for not liking it tbh.

What do you mean most people don't eat offal?

Do you not think steak and kidney pies/pudding are particularly popular in the UK?

YANBU Given all your posts there is no way I would be offering an alternative. Let her have a strop, if she's hungry she will eat.

So everyone else get a meal that they like & she gets beans on toast!

Maybe there is a way of making the casserole acceptable to her?

But phoning people up!

Also, how often does she have to have a veggie meal when she'd rather not?

OH and I am so not strict. Least strict person in the world. But will not cook alternative dinner. No way.

(Also won't do packed lunches. But that is another controversial thread!)

'Spectacularly missing my point there'

No actually I'm not but you seem to be. The OP has said her dsd eats the casserole but just doesn't particularly like it. Has she said she physically can't it eat? Is retching over it? No she hasn't.

squoosh - not for me, not really. When I select, plan and prepare a meal, even day to day, I take into account who will be eating it and whether they like the food or not. To me it doesn't matter who the people are who are eating it - me, DH, DD or anyone else. Their likes and dislikes are taken into account.

Tonight it is a 5 spice chicken stirfry. I don't eat meat so will make two meals - the chicken stir fry, and a vegetable one.

Later in the week it is a prawn based dish. Me and DD love prawns, DH doesn't like them particularly. I'll though in some steak for his version and me and DD will have prawns.

It really takes very little extra time to do this generally, so long as thought about in advance.

I really didn't like meat when growing up. I ate it because I had no choice, unless I was to go hungry. But I grew up eating meals I hd no enjoyment of. Once I had a big tlk with my parents at 12y I stopped eating the meat entirely and had an alternative. My ejoyment of food and mealtimes increased hugely. I know am a big fan of cooking, etc. It made a big difference to how I saw food and meal times.

Kids are given too much control these days. My DD1 isn't fond of some vegetables and risotto but I still serve them to her and she'll eat the whole plate if she's hungry.
But I won't cook her sausages. She's tried them loads of times. Loads. Hates them. Just like I despise celery.

Everyone should be allowed a couple of nono foods but this occasion sounds like a temperamental drama queen.

To be honest I don't know anyone who eats steak and kidney pie. There must be some but I'd call it niche. Compared to vegetables, very niche.

Hmmm.

Personally if dd doesnt eat what she is served she doesnt get an alternative as such. She is allowed as much fruit as she likes though.

Having said that I find your argument a little skewed. I presume you are veggie by choice and not actually allergic to meat? In which case if someone cooked you a meat dish woukd you eat it?

Why are you asking if you are being unreasonable? You are clearly absolutely certain that you are not.

I have a very fussy DD myself, though she's 16 now. She never used to be like this, in fact up until she was about 10 or 11 there was nothing she wouldn't eat then suddenly overnight it seemed she was awkward.

TBH personally I couldn't be bothered with the battle, if she was happy with a tin of vile spag bol or beans on toast whilst we all ate a stew or lasagne then that was her loss not ours. Fortunately she seems to be coming out of it a little now, especially if you get her to cook the meal with you. For example she made a lovely Pasta Carbonara the other night and actually tried it herself and conceded it was lovely.

I think you are doing the right thing, plain alternative, something quick and simple and let her get on with it.
DS had a similar phase actually and now at nearly 21 he's like a human dustbin. Nearly had heart failure when he asked for veg on a dinner when he visited the other week

Does anybody like vegetable casserole?

It's just one of those things you have occasionally to use up odds and sods, shirley?

I blame Sainsbury's and their "Try Something New Today" nonsense. Not every meal needs to be mouth-watering.

Everyone who has suggested that Fairy should give her SD an alternative meal, how do you know that she has anything else to give. Casserole isn't going to kill her and surely we all sometimes have to eat what we are given .

'Casserole isn't going to kill her and surely we all sometimes have to eat what we are given.

Apparently not is this thread is anything to go by.

DS2 doesn't really like "wet" foods like casseroles so I tend to dish his up with a slotted spoon so most of the sauce drain away. We save spaghetti bolognaise for days when he isn't here as the rest of us love it.

I couldn't be bothered with the battle either.

I can't believe all the people on here saying 'why feed her something she doesn't like'. No wonder loads of kids eat nothing but chips, pizza and beige food and we have a child obesity time bomb about to go off!
My family never, ever made separate meals for the fuss pots that 'didn't like it', because those fusspots didn't really like anything and just liked moaning. Funnily enough they ate most of what was put down in front of them as going hungry was the alternative. No-one starved to death and everyone grew up with wide ranging adult palates.

Tell her it's casserole or nothing, until she can cook for herself.

It might not be going to kill her but its still not nice to be made to eat something you don't like.

DS has some meals he doesn't like so I will happily provide an alternative for him when that is made. If he is just being fussy then I wouldn't provide an alternative but as the op has already said that she knows she doesn't like it then I think she is right to provide an alternative.

Oh, and DS2 will eat things he hates round at friends houses but I don't force him to when he is in his own home.

I'm vegetarian through ethical choice. I have not eaten meat since I was about 12 ( my parents were veggie). If DSD had a genuine reason for being concerned about the welfare of the chopped tomatoes in the casserole I wouldn't make her eat it.

If she hated it so much she was wretching, I wouldn't make her eat it.

I have not made a big deal out of it. Just said I'm not cooking anything else. I have suggested a sandwich and she is not happy about it.

There is a huge difference between not particularly liking something, and being almost physically unable to eat it.

Dh is not a big fan of fish. I still cook it sometimes, and he eats it. He would struggle a lot more with mussels, so I don't ever cook those. Though we once went round to our neighbours for dinner and they served mussels. Dh manfully ate his whole portion, though I could see him twitching a little.

I don't much like beans and pulses, but I cook them regularly, because everyone else in the family loves them. I absolutely hate Quorn, so I never cook that.

I regularly put things on my dc's plates that they whinge about - peas, tomatoes, olives, potatoes, soup... usually they just eat round them, occasionally they will decide to beat them after all. It's different with the (very few) things they absolutely hate, for which I will provide n alternative.

Surprised at so many people saying they wouldn't cook or eat something they didn't like!

Mim78 - ds1 literally gags when he tries to eat casserole. Ditto cooked mince, anything with gravy or in a sauce.

He has definite sensitivities - goes along with suspected SN.

Yes - I'd also class casserole as a meal. It would be brill to be able to full everyone up with stews.

Only reason for this post really is to point out that not everyone can eat casserole. You'd have thought so, but apparently not. I know it doesn't tie into the ops situation, but I always feel rubbish when people make scathing comments about fussy children and reel off a list of simple alternatives, none of which would be any use in this house! :)

My DS has cooked his own food since he was a young teenager.

He rarely eats what we do.

Yes everyone has things they despise and won't eat under any circumstances, for me it's macaroni cheese aka the devil's food, but that's not the same as not being a huge fan of a particular dish.