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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petrol money, should we say anything?

122 replies

Reality · 23/10/2013 18:47

DH changed his hours at work just over a month ago. Before he did, he shared the journey with his brother who he works with, and we happily paid petrol money for this of £40 a month, which was supposed to be 50%.

However. DH has been driving to work for the past month and has only used £40 of petrol in total. His car is older and bigger than BIL's so is not more economical.

I've just been sorting out our spreadsheet for this month and realised DH has only filled the car once, that's why this has come to light. Basically he has been subsidising his brother's petrol costs for the past year.

TBH I had my suspicions because of my own petrol costs but DH was adamant it was fair.

Would you say anything? By my reckoning that's £240 we've paid out that we didn't need to. However, the other side of that is it woudl have cost us the same as it has if DH had driven to work for the past year.

I feel ripped off though, and it means we've had all the negatives of car sharing (DH being late when BIL's late, me having to pick DH up if they finish at different times) and none of the cost benefits.

So, wise AIBUers. AIBU to be fucking fucked off?

OP posts:
lymiemum · 23/10/2013 18:50

Be a bit peeved but really you cant say much. He will say, wear and tare, extra travel time, he was doing the driving. And it's not cost you more than it would have anyway.

Coolforcatz · 23/10/2013 18:50

It's not just petrol it's wear and tear too. Chauffeured to work for £40 a month is very reasonable.

IamInvisisble · 23/10/2013 18:50

No you shouldn't say anything because its not just petrol, its wear and tear on the car eg tyres, oil etc.

HappyMummyOfOne · 23/10/2013 18:52

Far less wear on your car and mileage so imagine its pretty even and your DH was happy with the amount agreed.

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 23/10/2013 18:52

The rate paid by companies for using your own car is 45p a mile, it's not just for the actual fuel but wear and tear.

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 23/10/2013 18:53

He must be working pretty close to home if it's only costing a tenner a week.

DontmindifIdo · 23/10/2013 18:55

Don't say anything because if BIL is cheeky enough to have done this, he'll brazen it out and I'd put money on it that you'll end up being the bad guys in the family. Realistically someone that grabby isn't going to give you the money back so you'd be having an argument for the sake of it.

That said, I would distance myself from him and make a point of not being available for any favours BIL needs in the future.

CoffeeTea103 · 23/10/2013 18:55

For all the reasons above which your bil could point out, you should let it go.

ilovesooty · 23/10/2013 18:56

The rate paid by companies for using your own car is 45p a mile

I wish! (I know that's the official rate but we don't get anywhere near that)

Original poster
Reality · 23/10/2013 18:57

But he drives there anyway!

OUr house is on the way, literally on the way, not even a small detour, we are on the road he has to drive down.

When he offered to drive DH it was so they could both halve their petrol costs. But I've just planned it out on google, and even in a huge tank it woudl only cost £70 a month, in his car it would be more like £40-50. Not £80 by a long shot.

It is about a 10 minute drive, more in rush hour obvs.

I probably won't say anything, it's just grating on me. I would far rather DH had driven to work because at least once a fortnight I had to pick him up or he had to drive himself there, for variosu reasons (and no, the cost wans't adjusted for those times).

OP posts:
ILetHimKeep20Quid · 23/10/2013 18:58

You seem to know a lot about his fuel economy.

PTFO · 23/10/2013 19:00

Mmm, I be a bit pissed off too, totally off for his brother to do this. I don't really care about wear and tear etc this is not a hire car its his brother who is already driving to the same place of work as his brother- so no extra cost to him. Your DH has been dependent on his brother and I think he has taken advantage.

What does your DH think, given the overall extra cost?

I think BIL is a tight fisted bastard, taking the piss. I think I would have to say something even as a passive aggressive joke...now you know what kind of person he is.

Original poster
Reality · 23/10/2013 19:01

What do you mean? I know his make, model and year of car so I put it through a calculator.

It coudl be a gas guzzler in a way I don't know about, sure, but to the tune of 100% more? Unlikely.

OP posts:
drawsofdrawers · 23/10/2013 19:01

£2 a day is pretty good going.

I wouldn't say anything for this but if a similar arrangement cropped up in the future I would offer less.

ilovesooty · 23/10/2013 19:02

its his brother who is already driving to the same place of work as his brother- so no extra cost to him

An additional passenger does increase fuel consumption though.

Original poster
Reality · 23/10/2013 19:03

Just to add, DH has a car and could have driven to work himself but BIL offered to car share and as we are on the way it made more sense for him to drive.

So it's not like he was doing us a favour, it was suppposed to be mutually beneficial to save fuel.

OP posts:
IamInvisisble · 23/10/2013 19:04

It doesn't matter that he drives there anyway. Your DH is sharing a lift and agreed to share the cost, so they did. The cost to run the car includes more than fuel.

handcream · 23/10/2013 19:04

I think you should drop it tbh. You sound a bit money grabbing yourself. £2 a day isnt bad at all. If you hadnt chosen this option how much would it have cost you (and sorry but its not actually you its your DH so shouldnt he have the issue with it?)

ethelb · 23/10/2013 19:08

But he drives there anyway!
I have heard this said before by other people about lifts and I think it is a bit entitled tbh. Sorry. I think you have picked the wrong argument here I'm afraid.

drawsofdrawers · 23/10/2013 19:08

YABU OP. Sounds like you don't want to hear it though! Wink

What's his insurance - 40 a month? And tax? 15 a month? What about MOT - 4 quid. And service and maintenance...30 quid say

So another 89£ a month. Plus actually paying for the car. So could be upwards of £300 if it's on finance

If you are going to go through it with a fine tooth comb why not include all the costs.

dollywobbles · 23/10/2013 19:11

Does your BIL live really close to you? Maybe it's £40/50 from your house to work, but more from his?

CoffeeTea103 · 23/10/2013 19:11

Sorry you sound grabby and petty. Your DH should address it if anything if it's such a big issue and it seems like it isn't to him. Why upset family relationships over something so petty?

Original poster
Reality · 23/10/2013 19:12

Um, no, it's my money as well, so my issue.

If we hadn't chosen this option it woudl have cost about the same, except I woudln';t have had the extra journey to pick him up myslef when BIL has left work early.

He didn't agree to share the cost, if we're being picky, he agreed to share the petrol costs. About which BIL has told a big fat porky.

If BIL had said 'and the cost of servicing and tyres and blah blah blah' then we'd probably have said, 'no thanks, we're already paying for that on our own cars'.

And why on earth would we be sharing the cost of tax and insurance? It's not our car, those costs don't go up depending on how many passengers he has, and again WE HAVE OUR OWN CARS and the idea was to SAVE MONEY. Which we havent'. He has though, he's had his whoel fucking fuel bill paid for a year.

OP posts:
Original poster
Reality · 23/10/2013 19:13

Why woudl we be paying the petrol from his house to ours, it's on his way to work, ie no extra cost to him at all.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 23/10/2013 19:15

YANBU. I appreciate there are other costs involved but £40 is a bit steep.

If it were my brother I would say something.

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