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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petrol money, should we say anything?

122 replies

Reality · 23/10/2013 18:47

DH changed his hours at work just over a month ago. Before he did, he shared the journey with his brother who he works with, and we happily paid petrol money for this of £40 a month, which was supposed to be 50%.

However. DH has been driving to work for the past month and has only used £40 of petrol in total. His car is older and bigger than BIL's so is not more economical.

I've just been sorting out our spreadsheet for this month and realised DH has only filled the car once, that's why this has come to light. Basically he has been subsidising his brother's petrol costs for the past year.

TBH I had my suspicions because of my own petrol costs but DH was adamant it was fair.

Would you say anything? By my reckoning that's £240 we've paid out that we didn't need to. However, the other side of that is it woudl have cost us the same as it has if DH had driven to work for the past year.

I feel ripped off though, and it means we've had all the negatives of car sharing (DH being late when BIL's late, me having to pick DH up if they finish at different times) and none of the cost benefits.

So, wise AIBUers. AIBU to be fucking fucked off?

OP posts:
SinisterSal · 23/10/2013 19:49

PA
Snidiness
Resentment
Drink

Solves all these little family issues

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 23/10/2013 19:49

YANBU (I think I am reading a separate thread to everyone else).
The OP's DH did not ask for a favour, this was suggested (by the BIL?) as a mutually beneficial arrangement. Which has put the OP out, and, It seems, saved them no money.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 23/10/2013 19:52

really ll?£15 a week on wear and tear from a short journey?

MissStrawberry · 23/10/2013 19:52

Wear and tear? What with one more person in the car?

Maybe if Reality'sDH knew it was going to cost what it did, plus the late pick ups and other inconveniences he would have decided it wasn't worth sharing.

I would say nothing if you think he will kick off but if the arrangement is offered again I would refuse and say why. Keeping quiet because he will go mad isn't great but as it is family is it worth risking a fall out? (Though of course someone like that maybe does need cutting out).

TheDoctrineOfSpike · 23/10/2013 19:52

Sal, you are a pro!

MissStrawberry · 23/10/2013 19:55

Irrelevant he was going anyway. Fact is he has fleeced his brother by being dishonest.

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 23/10/2013 19:55

And is it OK to lie to make someone else out of pocket if it's in the interests of recouping your own costs?

lljkk · 23/10/2013 19:57

lol, I will 100% withdraw my last post since it cross posted with a huge load of more info from OP about 10 minute drive.

Now wondering why Mr. Reality doesn't consider cycling instead, though.

dontsufferfools · 23/10/2013 19:59

So you had your suspicions way back when, but you didn't do all the homework that you are doing now?

I can't understand that your suspicions back then wouldn't have warranted this input from you.

If you think, realistically that they may refund you something then maybe its worth a mention. But if not I think that you have to suck it up.

ethelb · 23/10/2013 19:59

Alright, having read your clarifications it does seem odd that your bil suggested £40 for petrol and to save money for both of you.

However, aren't you assuming he is being malicious when he could just be shit at maths? Or halved his weekly fuel consumption as he doesn't know how much his work fuel bill is as it is too hard to work out?

ethelb · 23/10/2013 20:00

In future this has served us relatively well: journeyprice.co.uk/

Coolforcatz · 23/10/2013 20:03

Jesus, they, and I quote, 'happily' paid the £40 a month when they thought they were getting a good deal, it's only since the OP has worked it out that it's not as good a deal as first thought.

It's like buying something, enjoying it, and then finding out a few weeks later you could have got it cheaper.

What if actually the petrol money had cost a lot more than BIL said, would you have been in a rush to reimburse him?

ilovepicnmix · 23/10/2013 20:03

I would be peed off too as sounds like BIL may have been a but sneaky here. I wouldnt say anything. Just put it down to experience. I give someone a lift to work sometimes and wouldnt accept any money from her but it's not everyday and she is young and earns a lot less than me.

dontsufferfools · 23/10/2013 20:03

And you say your DH was "adamant it was fair".

If you both have your own cars wouldn't it have been pretty obvious that 80 quid a month for this journey was too much?

Sorry, but I just don't get how its this late on and you are questioning this.

Original poster
Reality · 23/10/2013 20:07

I hope he's not shit at maths. They do a maths based brainiac type job.

Actually when it was first mooted I worked it out with a calculator and Dh said, 'well, he must knwo what his petrol costs are so lets not argue' so I left it.

It's only now that DH has done the journey for a month in his own (older, bigger) car that I've thoght of it again, because I thought we'd be £40 odd quid down on the 'extra' petrol costs, and we aren't.

My car last year was a 2 litre S-max and I only really did the school run and it cost me £80 a month, so I wan't sure, and DH at that point didn't drive his enough to be able to compare it with that.

OP posts:
PandaNot · 23/10/2013 20:07

How many miles is the journey every day? 10 minutes in one direction from our house would get you one mile, in another it would take you twelve miles. My micra averages about 350 miles for a £45 full tank.

Original poster
Reality · 23/10/2013 20:08

It's about a 14 mile round trip.

OP posts:
Original poster
Reality · 23/10/2013 20:08

Ten minutes (more like twenty in the mornings) each way.

OP posts:
ExcuseTypos · 23/10/2013 20:08

YANBU.

My car would cost about half a tank of petrol, about £30, to do that journey for a month. And it's a lot bigger than a micra.

He's either very bad at maths, or he's taking the piss. Is he bad at maths?

ExcuseTypos · 23/10/2013 20:09

X posted

Inertia · 23/10/2013 20:10

It does sound as though BIL might have taken advantage here - but realistically the fallout from raising it now would be huge.

Think all you can do is a) not trust BIL again , and check carefully before agreeing to anything, and b) if the hours do match up again, get DH to pick BIL up for £40 a month.

Xmasbaby11 · 23/10/2013 20:10

It's really not a lot of money, so no I wouldn't say anything.

Original poster
Reality · 23/10/2013 20:11

Nah, I won't say anything.

I will just grr about it once in a while.

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 23/10/2013 20:15

To be fair, you should have known previously that the fuel wouldn't have cost that much, especially being a car owning family yourselves.

I don't drive and wouldn't have the first idea about costs/wear and tear etc. I get a lift from my sis and BIL to work 35 miles away and they live in the same street. Yes, they're going there anyway and I contribute to their costs. I'm grateful as it would be a nightmare to get there otherwise (think bus, train, bus) and I get to snooze in the back on the way there at ridiculous o'clock Grin

NatashaBee · 23/10/2013 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.