Petrol money, should we say anything?

[Reality]

DH changed his hours at work just over a month ago. Before he did, he shared the journey with his brother who he works with, and we happily paid petrol money for this of £40 a month, which was supposed to be 50%.

However. DH has been driving to work for the past month and has only used £40 of petrol in total. His car is older and bigger than BIL's so is not more economical.

I've just been sorting out our spreadsheet for this month and realised DH has only filled the car once, that's why this has come to light. Basically he has been subsidising his brother's petrol costs for the past year.

TBH I had my suspicions because of my own petrol costs but DH was adamant it was fair.

Would you say anything? By my reckoning that's £240 we've paid out that we didn't need to. However, the other side of that is it woudl have cost us the same as it has if DH had driven to work for the past year.

I feel ripped off though, and it means we've had all the negatives of car sharing (DH being late when BIL's late, me having to pick DH up if they finish at different times) and none of the cost benefits.

So, wise AIBUers. AIBU to be fucking fucked off?

The petrol costs apply because the idea was that they would both save (if it was me taking someone in her same circs I wouldn't charge at all, just so you know where I stand on it).

It's got nothing to do with depreciation on wear and tear, as he would be doing the journey anyway. And again, he want doing us a favour, it was supposed to be a win win situation.

That distance, shouldn't you be cycling?

I would just keep it in mind for future dealings with BIL
Same here. I would let it go, but wouldn't be getting into any future car sharing, unless on the basis that they drive every second week, and no money changes hands. It hasn't really suited overall, by the sound of things, and that is the perfect reason to say no to any further sharing. I would also be wary of any other financial involvement with BIL. Make sure you cancel the payment you had set up. YANBU.

we have never paid for servicing (other BIL is a mechanic)

Hmmm....sorry if this has already been covered (I have read the whole thread but fairly speedily) but could it perhaps be possible that your other BiL's partner is silently fuming that they have saved you maybe a couple of hundred quid a year, and you haven't offered a token payment cue OP saying you offered and offered and offered and were refused and/or you have performed open heart surgery for free on the entire family

What is your relationship with BIL like usually ?
I would just put it down to a lesson learned and not deal with BIL in these sorts of arrangements in the future.
Chalk it up to experience !
Unfortunately I think if you try to take it further, as a prev poster mentioned, you and your DP will be the ones who look like the bad guys.
YANBU to be fucked off and want to vent though.

The AA calculated cost of mileage is 45p per mile and that is what all govt departments base tax and allowances on
. So ,assuming each brother puts £40 into the car 'pot' £80 would buy them 177 miles a month.Assuming 10 journey a week and 4 weeks a month that eqates to 4.4 miles.
Therefore if their workplace is more than 4.5 miles away you are winning, if it is less your BIL might be winning

*The petrol costs apply because the idea was that they would both save (if it was me taking someone in her same circs I wouldn't charge at all, just so you know where I stand on it).

It's got nothing to do with depreciation on wear and tear, as he would be doing the journey anyway. And again, he want doing us a favour, it was supposed to be a win win situation.*

Sorry, but your argument still doesn't make sense to me. The "wear and tear" is as much a cost as petrol. Ultimately if your DH does not use his car for work the car will be worth as there will be fewer miles on the clock so you have saved on that as well as petrol.

Aargh! the bold didn't work!

idly wonders if the op is using last year's petrol prices, which were higher, when working this out or the current ones...

Surely your husband must have felt it was a fair price at the outset though to have agreed to it? He's benefited from avoiding the wear and tear on his own car, but also has effectively been driven to work every day so has missed out on the hassle of driving in rush hour, might not have had to worry about having an extra drink in the week for example and has also had company on the way into work. As a passenger you can check your texts, browse the internet on your phone or just gaze out of the window. Driving is tiring and requires full concentration.

Your BIL presumably has had to leave a little earlier for the pick up, had to negotiate the traffic, has reduced his fuel economy by carrying an extra passenger and will also have had to do the PITA bits like fuelling up, checking tyre pressures, filling the windscreen washer pump, having the car cleaned more regularly etc.

Sounds like your husband and BIL have decided on £40 as the value of him being driven to and from work rather than the cost of the fuel. If they are both happy with the agreement I'd just let it lie.

What you need to do is organise it back again so they can share lifts. then say "oh you were so kind doing it before, we'll do it now. We'll keep the money at £40 even though petrol has gone up, that seems fair to keep it the same."

If he looks horrified, then you know he thinks he's scammed you. If he doesn't, he'd probably given you a rough idea and hasn't really worked it out properly.

YABU - if he is an otherwise nice family member, get over it. It sounds to me like ther are other issues underlying this and this is an excuse to get at BIL.

Yabu

You should have looked into it earlier. Too late to do anything about it now. Dh agreed to pay it at the time so it would unfair on db to start demanding a refund now.

Also £40 a month is very low commuting costs! So you should be grateful!!

Do you have two cars? Or did the car share enable you to have a car available to you?

I was hoping this thread had been bumped because your DH had finally taken Sal's advice

Finances + family = SHITE

Why don't you both walk or as already suggested cycle ? That gives you flexibility with minimal cost since that seems to be the main concern.

Reality, following on from what mittens said a page or so back.....if you give lifts in a car and charge for them, you need different insurance. You also need to be able to show that you've had tyres, brakes etc serviced more frequently than a private car. If this isn't done then your insurance isn't valid. Different rules apply if you charge for lifts in your car, if you give someone a lift & don't charge, that's fine.

Ooh, why did this get bumped? Bizarre.

It's all well in the past now, I had my little rant and I'm over it.

We have two cars. When do started his new job, over a year ago, working with his brother, bil said 'why don't I drive and we'll go halves on petrol, save us both some money'.

As it turned out, we didn't really save any money but seem to have paid for all of Bils petrol. Plus I was inconvenienced by having to pick him up at least once a fortnight because bil was off or left early.

But I had my rant about it on here and got a grip and moved on.

Dh has been driving himself to work for a couple of months now as he changed his hours and now picks our dc up after school.

Pealrsaplenty: Also £40 a month is very low commuting costs! So you should be grateful!!

Um, that's quite a spectacularly ridiculous thing to say, really. £40 isn't low if it should have only cost £20

Anyhoo, it's all done with now and it was never that much of a problem in the first place, just one of life's minor gripes.

They made an agreement at the beginning. I don't think you can back-track after all this time. If your house is on the way then presumably your BIL could've done it for nothing, but they made an agreement that suited them both at the time. I think you should let it go.

X post - sorry - didn't realise it was an old thread.