Petrol money, should we say anything?

[Reality]

DH changed his hours at work just over a month ago. Before he did, he shared the journey with his brother who he works with, and we happily paid petrol money for this of £40 a month, which was supposed to be 50%.

However. DH has been driving to work for the past month and has only used £40 of petrol in total. His car is older and bigger than BIL's so is not more economical.

I've just been sorting out our spreadsheet for this month and realised DH has only filled the car once, that's why this has come to light. Basically he has been subsidising his brother's petrol costs for the past year.

TBH I had my suspicions because of my own petrol costs but DH was adamant it was fair.

Would you say anything? By my reckoning that's £240 we've paid out that we didn't need to. However, the other side of that is it woudl have cost us the same as it has if DH had driven to work for the past year.

I feel ripped off though, and it means we've had all the negatives of car sharing (DH being late when BIL's late, me having to pick DH up if they finish at different times) and none of the cost benefits.

So, wise AIBUers. AIBU to be fucking fucked off?

And I know you all think I'm petty and honestly, I don't care. I have been going through our outgoings carefully to see where we can save a few quid because I expected our fuel costs to have shot up last month. And they haven't, because we've had no benefit at all to car sharing for the past year.

And £240 odd quid isn't petty.

You have saved money!

The tyres on your DH's car have lasted longer because he hasn't been using it in the week.

The intervals between services has been longer, timewise, because he hasn't been using it in the week!

The value of the car hasn't depreciated as much because it won't have as many miles on because he hasn't been using it in the week!

Why not suggest that they drive on alternate weeks and pay for the petrol for their own car. He could park at yours on the weeks your DH drives.

At first I thought you were being a bit mean. But I can now see why you are annoyed. The lift arrangement was to save money for them both and not because your DH didn't have his own car. I don't know if it's worth making a fuss now that it's done.

Maybe your BIL, deliberately or unthinkingly, calculated the total cost of fuel and split that.
He may not have thought about what it costs for each leg of the journey.
Not saying he'd be right to do it that way.
In the past when I've been given a lift to work I've asked how much the driver spends on petrol to get to work and given half. I'd not thought that really that's paying for part of the journey I'm not on.

I think that you are on a hiding to nothing trying to say anything now - maybe he just estimated the cost anyway?

You could try making a joke about it one day, but I still think there is the risk of it backfiring and you looking quite mean.

YANBU reality, but BIL may have just done a 45p per mile calculation and halved it, rather than gone out if his way to make a profit.

I have no idea what the difference is in reimbursable cost per mile and what it actually costs per mile in my car.

Ok then.

Here's my point, it's not really about the money and who has saved what.

BIL told us that he'd workied out his petrol costs and it was £80 a month.

Unless he has a hole in his gas tank, this is unlikely to be the case.

Therefore I think BIL has quite cynically used us to pay for his petrol for the past year.

That is why I am cross. I do not care that much about teh money (it woudl have cost us that to drive his own car every day).

I don't; believe we have saved that much, we have never paid for servicing (other BIL is a mechanic), our car was a freebie and is worth about tuppence and yes probably the tyres but again that's minimal cost to us.

I am cross cross cross.

OP, you say the fuel cost is the same whether its BIL driving DH or DH driving himself, so you HAVE saved, you've saved money on maintenance. Have a look at your online calculator for tyre and brake pad costs.

Chill out.

x post with the last few of you, thank you.

I put £100 of diesel in mine every 10 days!

DH drives himself now as he starts and finishes earlier, so the arrangement is over with, that's why it's come to light because his very old and very shit car (bless it) seemed to be amazingly economical compares to BIL's MIcra.

Ah, ok, if he'd said he worked it out, that's a bit different.

Can you make a joke along the lines of "wow, it's only costing us £40 per month petrol, does your car run on gold?"

You probably won't get it back now though. Buy them a smaller Xmas present!

Quite happy to take free services from your other BIL yet begrudge another a little extra on top of actual petrol costs for wear on tyres, mileage on the car etc. Perhaps your other BIL should start billing you as you do appear to not like people taking advantage.

I know, we're a cheap date, really. My work is a five min drive, DH's is ten.

We're very lucky on that score. I'm still having a moan though. Rant rant rant.

I'd be pissed off

I would take the mature approach and goad Dh into making a few PA snide remarks, causing bitterness and resentment til it explodes messily, publically and drunkenly.

If that helps at all

Different family (mine) and totally different set up.

If this was my family, I'd be driving my brother to work (and have done) for free.

DH's family are the one's who insist on keeping all finances above board, which is why this rankles. If they weren't so pernickerty about it to start with I'd have let it aaaaaalll slide.

Sal, see THAT'S how my lot woudl deal with it.

Much healthier.

Perhaps he drives in 3rd all the time .

I would have worked out the cost in the first place and not trusted BIL because I am a cynical fucker!

Piss in a bottle and give it to him as aftershave for Christmas.

I'm with Sal.

Id be annoyed but also leave it id dh is driving himself now

So that total was for a micra on a journey that takes 10 mins? That DOES seem a lot! I would be annoyed. Sounds more like he's calculated his total monthly fuel costs (ie including non-work journeys) to me, actually. Ignore all the people talking about you saving wear and tear costs on your dh's car - for a 10 min journey twice a day that would be minimal. It's not as if you're up and down the motorway a couple of hours a day.

Having said all that, if it were me I would say nothing. But I the subject ever came up again I would be honest and say "actually it has worked out cheaper for dh to drive his own car in so he'll stick with that, thanks. Also saves the hassle with changes to finishing times /days off etc."

Only you can know if your BIL is the type to take advantage or if it was a genuine mistake. Unless you know for sure I would probably keep quiet for now.

The real costs to BIL for driving there anyway were probably about £100. That includes wear & tear but not MOT-VED-insurance-depreciation. Now you'll spend £100 yourself each month, due to no car sharing If you want to work out that £100 < £40 then that's up to you.

Each day Costs me £12 to get to work & back.

not cheeky. Don't you realise that a car costs more to run than the cost of the petrol?

put it down to experience and drive yourself in future.

Sounds like he worked out what he spends to and from work and halved it. Not really factoring in the fact your dh is closer. To be honest you should have cracked open your calculator and Google maps at that point. Still £2 a day for a ten minute journey, return, sounds reasonable and cheaper than a bus whilst you benefit from the car being at home.