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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give dd2's present to dd1?

175 replies

JessicaWakefield1 · 09/09/2013 22:01

Dd2 is 2months old, along with being given numerous new clothes from well meaning friends and family she also has her older sister's hand me downs.
Dd1 is in desperate need of new autumn/winter type clothes. DH's aunty gave dd2 £100 in Next vouchers when she was born wibu to buy dd1 clothes with dd2's vouchers? It would help a lot tbh as we are struggling due to me being on maternity leave so couldn't really afford to use the vouchers on dd1 and just put the same value away for dd2.
We also need new bedding and some nice Next bed sheets would be lovely but that feels very wrong.

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 09/09/2013 22:04

YANBU at all. You've said yourself, DD2 gets DD1's hand-me-downs, so will get them eventually anyway. And Next stuff wears really well, so will last to be passed on! If you want to assuage your guilt buy DD2 a small gift or item of clothes from the vouchers to show the aunt, and enjoy your new bedding!

aturtlenamedmack · 09/09/2013 22:05

Erm I think if you replace them in the future it would be fine to buy the clothes with some of them.
I would make a point of buying them back though because your auntie intended them for your dd2 and so your dd2 should eventually benefit from them.

5madthings · 09/09/2013 22:08

Yanbu at all, dd2 will still get to wear them.

mumofweeboys · 09/09/2013 22:09

I spend vouchers on which of my boys need clothes. When my last bundle arrived we got we got a few different vouchers so brought each of the boys something. Its not like your baby will care. Next do good sale deals online to make the most of your vouchers

SavoyCabbage · 09/09/2013 22:11

I would use it without another thought. She needs a coat. The baby doesn't need anything.

I would also use the voucher to buy sheets if you need sheets. It makes more sense to use the voucher than cash even if you has oodles of cash.

Having two daughters myself I feel quite sure that you are going to be spending 100 pounds on clothes for her in the future!

OxfordBags · 09/09/2013 22:14

I think you're overthinking this. When we got some John Lewis vouchers for our DS when he was born, we bought a new kettle and hairdryer with them.

Famzilla · 09/09/2013 22:16

I see no problem with buying DD1 clothes if you're struggling. However buying expensive new bed sheets doesn't sit well with me. It's not something I would do with my child's money unless I didn't have any functioning bed sheets at all.

McNewPants2013 · 09/09/2013 22:18

I would, but replace the money when you could.

BrokenSunglasses · 09/09/2013 22:21

I don't think there's anything at all wrong with you spending them on clothes for dd1, presumably they'd get passed on to dd2 anyway. Bedding for one of your children is fine too. But I think spending vouchers given to you for your baby on bedding for yourself is not very nice.

Original poster
JessicaWakefield1 · 09/09/2013 22:24

Thanks, I'm sure you're all right. I think I've got a bit of a complex when it comes to dd2 as financially we are not at all in the same place as two years ago when dd1 was born. Dd1 had all brand new, best of everything wherras dd2 has literally nothing new aside from gifts from friends and family.

OP posts:
poocatcherchampion · 09/09/2013 22:24

I love the way you "need next bedding" Grin sounds urgent Grin

otherwise I'm in the same dilemma dd1 needs winter clothes; dd2 has vouchers but a wardrobe of clothes and toys. I can't decide what to do.

poocatcherchampion · 09/09/2013 22:25

cancel my dig re next bedding I've re read your post and you didn't say that. sorry op. its time I went to sleep.

DragonMamma · 09/09/2013 22:26

I would quite happily buy my other child some clothes with vouchers intended for the other one, if I was struggling.

I'd definitely not be wasting them on Next bedsheets if I was struggling though. You could easily get them cheaper elsewhere using your own money.

Necessities - yes. Unnecessarily expensive things - doesn't sit well with me, at all and it feels wrong because IMO, it is wrong.

CHJR · 09/09/2013 22:30

Presumably the point of giving vouchers/cash is to let the recipient choose. For the record, I consider baby gifts are always gifts to the parents. But if it bothers you,when you write to thank, describe the beyoootiful clothes you bought and don't go into who will wear them first! Anyway the baby won't object to hand-me-downs for a while yet.

McNewPants2013 · 09/09/2013 22:31

looking at the next site duvet covers start from £40 and sheets from £9 and i wouldn't be comfortable blowing 1/2 the budget when DD need clothes.

curlew · 09/09/2013 22:33

How can you need new bedding? Does it wear out?

littleblackno · 09/09/2013 22:39

DS had LOADS of stuff bought for him including some nice outfits from next, they were lovely but as he had so much stuff I took them back and bought myself some new tops. My reasoning was that he really didn;t need it, I really did, at the time and I bought breast feeding tops so he was benefiting from them. I really don't remember giving it that much thought or worrying about it, at the time though.

CakesAreNotTheAnswer · 09/09/2013 22:41

curlew... mine has. Our sheet has a hole in it. Am using it for Ad long as possible but one of these days it will be unusable.

op. Just buy the clothes that are needed. no drama. No guilt. dd2 won't give a flying fart will she? Grin

Original poster
JessicaWakefield1 · 09/09/2013 22:43

I know, I would never really spend it on bedding it was just wishful (and selfish) thinking of all the lovely things I could buy for myself from next.
Curlew - yes it does wear out, does yours not!? I have a duvet cover damaged by a dryer, another with a bad stain and they're all faded and old.

OP posts:
Ireallymustbemad · 09/09/2013 22:44

I'm surprised that so many people think this is fine. Can you not just buy dd1 some cheap Tesco/Asda clothes?

I think you should spend the vouchers on dd2 or wait until she needs things. If you're actually desperate then ok buy dd1 some stuff but it's definitely not on to buy yourself something. The voucher was given for the baby not for you.

Debs75 · 09/09/2013 22:44

Clothes for DD1 YES.
Bedding for you NO.

The clothes will be passed down and you could get a lot for £100 and they will be needed.

The sheets, well no one really desperately needs new expensive sheets do they

Ireallymustbemad · 09/09/2013 22:44

Sorry cross posted.

Floggingmolly · 09/09/2013 22:48

It's fine. Both your children benefit this way, so it's even better really.

5madthings · 09/09/2013 22:48

Of course bedding wears out, our old ones had holes in and the poppers broke and stains from a nose bleed.

The vouchers were given to you op, use them in the way that is best for your family.

Remember they will have an expirery date, I think its a year for next vouchers.

Your dd2 will be able to wear the clothes after dd1. Maybe get dd2 a nice outfit? What about bedroom stuff for dd2, they do nursery stuff don't they?

Seriously its fine

Does dd2 co-sleep...cos technically then the bedding is for her as well Grin

PeacockPlumage · 09/09/2013 22:49

I often do this as all dd1's stuff ends up as dd2's in the end anyway. Think no more about it.