To give dd2's present to dd1?

[JessicaWakefield1]

Dd2 is 2months old, along with being given numerous new clothes from well meaning friends and family she also has her older sister's hand me downs.
Dd1 is in desperate need of new autumn/winter type clothes. DH's aunty gave dd2 £100 in Next vouchers when she was born wibu to buy dd1 clothes with dd2's vouchers? It would help a lot tbh as we are struggling due to me being on maternity leave so couldn't really afford to use the vouchers on dd1 and just put the same value away for dd2.
We also need new bedding and some nice Next bed sheets would be lovely but that feels very wrong.

I'm quite surprised so many of you have mentioned that the giver of the voucher would be upset by me using it on dd1. I must say I hadn't really considered this, was more concerned that I would be "stealing" off dd2.
While I've no doubt dh's aunt probably imagined we would buy dd2 clothes with the voucher I really don't think she would mind if I used it on dd1. Maybe I'm being a bit naive though, especially after seeing some people's opinions. Dh keeps threatening to send her the link to the thread so he obviously thinks she wouldn't be at all bothered.

God I would spend it on dd1 in a heart beat.
Why on earth would you spend it on clothes for a 2 month old baby who already has more than enough clothes when you've got a toddler who is in need of clothes!!
They will be used by dd2 after anyway!!
I'd be perfectly happy with this had I given you the voucher!!

This is all getting a bit OTT. When a couple has a baby the gifts they receive are for the family. The gift usually consists of baby clothes as these are helpful to the family and/or the buyer enjoys buying cute little outfits. In this case the gift is a voucher. The OP can spend this voucher on her family as she pleases and if she decides that she wants new bedding as part of that then so be it! The voucher is for her too - she's just had a baby and deserves a treat FFS!

Sleep easy in your new bedding OP, I know I would!

Think of it as buying clothes for DD2 if you like. Just really big ones that won't fit her for ages, big enough, in fact, that DD1 could have some wear out of them first.

See, everyones happy.

Another point- with this being their second child maybe the aunt thought that they probably had more than enough clothing and decided to give them a voucher instead to spend on something nice as they please. This is exactly what the OP intends to do. I don't get what the problem is here?!

There is no problem, but some strange people are insisting it's "stealing" from the baby

Cantspel, i may start taking tags off too. Wouldnt mind them being swapped for a different size but not for somebody else.

If my child is given a gift, its his and nobody elses. I dont deem it as family money or family vouchers and am shocked at how many would spend another persons gift.

Using the vouchers and replacing if a short date on them is one thing but taking from a child to use on other things is awful.

They can't be swapped for a different size if you've taken the tags off. Seriously, just don't give gifts if you're going to be like that.

I actually took presents from one of my children to give to the other a few weeks ago. My two sons had a shared birthday party and invited several children each. Due to circumstances, my elder one had 7 guests and my younger only two. They all brought presents. Presumably the naysayers here would have been happy to let one child get many many more presents than the other? Some bizarre sense of fairness, no doubt.

Luckily my eight year old has a better sense of gift giving than some of you lot, and had no problem with it.

If I give a gift to one person then its for that person, not for that persons mother brother or anybody else.

If the person is old enough to chose then what they do with it is up to them.

Yanbu totaly agree with 5madthings

sell some of dd1's clothes that you were saving for dd2 & use the money to buy new second-hand clothes for dd2

^ this makes no sense. How are someone else's hand me downs better than a sister's?

Use the voucher to buy things dd1 needs, with a token new item for dd2 if it makes you feel better. There will come a time when dd2 wants her own new things, but as a baby no need at all

On what planet is a it unreasonable to assume that giving a gift to a baby or a child means THAT child will benefit from the gift.
How is it reasonable to say that people should not bother giving a gift if they are going to care about who actually gets it.

Equally, ref an earlier post, why is there an assumption that a gift to a baby is a gift to the entire family? Unless the giver so specifies?
If its a gift to "the family" it will say so on the gift-tag!

Or are we saying its fine for a silver christening tankard to be flogged off on ebay, because the baby can't use it for years and the parents could do with some cash? Really??

Don't misinterpret this - I couldn't give a tuppeny damn if I give a gift to an adult (or child old enough to make informed decision) and they choose to convert it to cash, give it away or burn the thing on a bonfire. I gave the gift so its their choice. That is not the case with children too young to judge.

If parents want to manipulate what their child receives then fine - but don't argue that its the fault of the giver if they are unimpressed by your actions.
And have the arguments neatly lined up if and when the children grow up and ask "what happened to the gift 'so-and-so' told me she gave me when I was born/christened".

Well I'm just glad that I live in a cosy little bubble where people are nice, and give gifts out of love and/or kindness, and who trust me to spend money and vouchers on my children the way I see best, and who not dream of telling me what to do with said gifts.

I did get given a few items of baby clothes that had the tags cut off by mean people which were too small. I suppose I should have forced the child into to them anyway, rather then regift them to other new babies?

Onthebottom.

How on earth is it dictating to give a gift to someone and expect that person to receive the gift?

If I gave you a gift I would expect you to use it how you saw fit,if I give it to a child its not yours its the child's.

It comes.down.to who you think is the recipient of the gift.

In my opinion, the baby is the recipient

Had your elder dd been gifted £100 would you have taken that for bedsheets or something nice for the younger dd?

So was I wrong with presents at the party then? I gave gifts intended for one child to another. Opinions?

Well I wouldn't have planned such a unequal party so would never have to fret about that

They're siblings, sharing a joint party. Of course you weren't wrong.

It wasn't planned that way, little miss perfect.

So its ok to take from one sibling and give to another sometimes, but not other times. And its somehow less ok to do it with a newborn baby who would have no idea? I don't understand the reasoning.

On what planet is a it unreasonable to assume that giving a gift to a baby or a child means THAT child will benefit from the gift.
How is it reasonable to say that people should not bother giving a gift if they are going to care about who actually gets it.

Equally, ref an earlier post, why is there an assumption that a gift to a baby is a gift to the entire family? Unless the giver so specifies?
If its a gift to "the family" it will say so on the gift-tag!

Or are we saying its fine for a silver christening tankard to be flogged off on ebay, because the baby can't use it for years and the parents could do with some cash? Really??

Don't misinterpret this - I couldn't give a tuppeny damn if I give a gift to an adult (or child old enough to make informed decision) and they choose to convert it to cash, give it away or burn the thing on a bonfire. I gave the gift so its their choice. That is not the case with children too young to judge.

If parents want to manipulate what their child receives then fine - but don't argue that its the fault of the giver if they are unimpressed by your actions.
And have the arguments neatly lined up if and when the children grow up and ask "what happened to the gift 'so-and-so' told me she gave me when I was born/christened".

^ This ^. ^^^
I am stunned at the amount of people who think that it's ok to take a baby's present and give it to someone else. Would you do that to a teenager??? Of course you wouldn't!!

Is it that hard to broach the subject with Auntie? Ask if she minds - problem solved.

OnTheBottom
You said that your older child was involved in the decision to share gifts?
Which is a slightly different matter.

FWIW, no, it is not what I would have done because I agree with you that moral reasoning should not be muddled in that way. However the issue is one for another thread, really.

Totally agree with Miss, Mortified and cantspel and sock

The money was for your younger child. Not for you or your older child.

Why is that difficult for people to understand?

At what point would you not find it acceptable to take money from your children? (not speaking to the OP here) Would you take birthday money from a teenager? - I very much doubt it because the child would know and most likely object (especially if it was for their mum to buy themselves a hairdryer!) but baby doesn't know so its fine to take money from them...

If you are a bit short at the moment write an IOU to the child, pay it back when she is 18 or even older if that is the first time you can afford it.

"Luckily my eight year old has a better sense of gift giving than some of you lot, and had no problem with it"

Fair point - when the OP's baby can say it's fine for the OP to take her money and spend it on other people then the Op can do it.

At what point would you not find it acceptable to take money from your children?

I will probably get flamed for this, but I would say at the point this child is not in need of anything other than milk sleep comfort, warmth and love. And they have something of monetary value that will benefit themselves in the long run or anyone else in the family who is in greater need at that time.

I used all my dds monetary gifts from birth and baptism which amounted to a good few hundred pounds to meet bills and the cost of living and essentials for the household and did not repay this. Seeing as I was solely meeting all her needs and she required nothing that this money could buy other than a roof over her head and healthy and fed family.

We are talking about a baby who is not in need of anything and a child who needs a coat, the op isn't rubbing her hands together looking for ways to spend this money frivolously.