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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not an aibu, please calm me down

115 replies

squiberoo27 · 31/08/2013 22:48

Brief background:

Mother is a functioning alcoholic but refuses to see any problem. Father has suffered ill health for many years, is treated like shit by my mother but remains completely loyal to her.

Mother phones me drunk today telling me what a wonderful day she's had with an old friend basically drinking. I enquire where my father was and she says last night they had an argument, he took an overdose, left the house and hasn't seen him since. I have phoned everywhere, everyone I can think of, hospitals, police, nothing.

I have never met anyone as selfish and self absorbed as my mother. I hate her. I am worried sick for my father.

OP posts:
Silverfoxballs · 31/08/2013 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 31/08/2013 22:51

Didn't want to read and run. So sorry to hear this Sad Hope you find your father and that he's ok. I'm guessing he doesn't have a mobile or anything? Do they live nearby, somewhere you can drive round to look for him?

pinktransit · 31/08/2013 22:51

I'm so sorry - it sounds like a terrible situation.

But, please, do take comfort from the fact that hospitals and police aren't aware of him.
This really does probably mean that he is fine and staying with a friend, and is just keeping out of her way.

I really hope that you find him soon.

I'm sorry that I can't be any more help than that. xx

Scrubber · 31/08/2013 22:51

Are the police looking? You must be frantic. [holds hand]

ArgyMargy · 31/08/2013 22:52

Why post in AIBU then? Go & find your father.

Original poster
squiberoo27 · 31/08/2013 22:53

Ive tried his mobile loads of times, just goes on to voicemail. I have four young children and my husband is overseas working, I wouldn't even know where to begin looking, he doesn't really have friends. I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
squiberoo27 · 31/08/2013 22:55

Argy ive got 4 young children to look after and no one to leave them with, two of them have been ill this week.

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 31/08/2013 22:56

Fuck. I'm sorry op. How bloody horrendous. Can you get back to your mother and find out where he may have gone?

Original poster
squiberoo27 · 31/08/2013 22:57

Well her words to me earlier when I said so where is he now after she told me about the overdose were 'I don't know and I don't give a fuck'. There's no point trying with her.

OP posts:
SeaSickSal · 31/08/2013 22:58

Poor you and poor your Dad. Is there any way you could get over there and see if he has left anything like a letter. Or if there is any indication of what medication he has taken and how much? If you can give that info to the police it might put a rocket up their arses.

mashpot · 31/08/2013 22:59

Really sorry OP, I agree that you would probably know if he ended up in hospital though, and it sounds as though what your mum says may not be entirely accurate?

Sorry I don't have anything helpful to suggest, do try and rest and hopefully he will call you tomorrow

BrianTheMole · 31/08/2013 23:01

Has he gone off in his car somewhere? What have the police said?

Buddhagirl · 31/08/2013 23:01

Call the police yourself? Call your mother and ask for more info? She might be lying.

You must be frantic, I've been there. Ask what he Od on.BVery useful info.

This may well turn out ok and your dad is fine x

Celadorhasacatandawaveequation · 31/08/2013 23:04

Argymargy I think the OP has come here for unbiased support, not criticism Hmm.

OP, please call friends and any family you have and ask them to help. I'd also call hotels and hostels and see if he's found somewhere to stay.

Good luck, I really hope you find him soon Flowers.

MissMuesli · 31/08/2013 23:05

Oh OP, I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing for your m

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 31/08/2013 23:06

Could you not tell the police he has taken an overdose so could they track where his phone is? If that's even possible..... Clutching at straws here.... Good luck x

MissMuesli · 31/08/2013 23:06

*mother to do and say, you must be worried sick. I have everything crossed that its a misunderstanding and your dad is ok x

LEMisdisappointed · 31/08/2013 23:08

please call the police, give them details of your dads car overdose can lead to delayed but serious organ damage, you need to find him. Of course this is assuming your mum is correct (hopefully she is mistaken and he has just left, that would explain why his phone is off)

ArgyMargy · 31/08/2013 23:11

Didn't mean to sound harsh, just wondered why post in AIBU, where sympathy & support are often in short supply!

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 31/08/2013 23:12

I'm so sorry, must be awful - surely the police would take this seriously??

I really hope you get some good news soon - is it possible your mum's drunkenly exaggerating things...?

Here to hand hold too.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 31/08/2013 23:13

Argy people do that because there's a LOT of traffic and help arrives instantly. OP I hope he's ok .xx

mummymeister · 31/08/2013 23:14

Horrible situation. speak to the police and also local a and es to see if he has been brought in. any known haunts? do you have family, neighbour or a friend that can help. get him back safe, keep him with you and then in the morning get him away from this destructive woman. you will find him OP and I am sure he will be alright. just hang in there. get the police to support you though they are usually good at this.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 31/08/2013 23:15

You didn't sound harsh.

You sounded like a total bitch.

You know why she posted in AIBU - it's the only place that gets any traffic - especially on a Saturday night.

Just because it doesn't often get a lot of 'Ah there there' posts, decent people will rally around on threads like this - but you always get one who just has to have a dig.

Just because it's AIBU it doesn't mean you HAVE to be a bitch.

TiredDog · 31/08/2013 23:16

Op - are the police conducting a search?

TiredDog · 31/08/2013 23:16

Keep on topic folks - OP needs it :)

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