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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think Accidental Pregnancy Does Exist?

159 replies

TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 19:59

Just had a very bizarre conversation with mother collecting DDs friend.

I won't list of the exact details of the conversation, but on discussing a certain topic it came to light that she doesn't believe anyone accidentally gets pregnant.

I informed her it bloody well does, I've 3 of my 5 DC as evidence. She then scoffed at this and gave me a wink before walking off with her DD.

She used the sentence, "everyone knows accidents are bullshit, people never buy that excuse". Is this true? Or have I been bullshitting my way through the past 20 years without realising.

I feel quite annoyed that she implied I was lying. I'm a confrontational person but as this is DD's new friend I was trying to keep it under control.

AIBU to think its pretty fucking obvious, especially to those with a child or just basic sex education, how one might become pregnant by accident?

OP posts:
allbie · 01/07/2013 20:09

Well, I have three accidental pregnancies out of four!! Ho! The last one was post vasectomy so there you go! And no, I did not have an affair!!

Original poster
TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 20:11

She's really fucked me off, its such an odd thing to say.

She only has one child, so maybe contraception is just extremely effective for her.

OP posts:
MamaChubbyLegs · 01/07/2013 20:12

Of course accidental pregnancy happens! If you didn't intend or expect it, it's an accident. Is ir not? Contraception has a failure rate, doesn't it?

My DS was an accident surprise. Best surprise of my life Smile

grobagsforever · 01/07/2013 20:13

I'm intrigued how you have three accidents though. Surely after one you are in pill plus condom plus timing terrotory? You can't be that motivated not to get PG???

chesterberry · 01/07/2013 20:13

YANBU. Ex-partner and I always used contraception, always, but even so I am pregnant. No contraception is 100% and accidents clearly do happen.

purplemurple1 · 01/07/2013 20:13

YANBU
I got preg while on the pill and using a condom and I'd class that as an accident.

Although I suppose it depends what you mean by 'accident' i.e. if you know sex can lead to pregnancy, if you really don't want to be preg you could not have sex.

snickersnacker · 01/07/2013 20:14

Perhaps she only has sex if she's TTC...

NumTumDeDum · 01/07/2013 20:14

Ds was another lovely accident!

grobagsforever · 01/07/2013 20:14

I really don't mean to offend but the only person.I know with three 'accidents' relies on.the withdrawal method.....

CalamityJ · 01/07/2013 20:16

My brother is a mini pill accident and I'm a post vasectomy accident!

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 01/07/2013 20:17

To look at it from another point of view, I can understand that some people who have struggled to conceive might find it hard to believe anyone can get pregnant by accident. Having spent 3 years TTC, and having finally got my BFP last week, I can see how someone could think that way.

To play devil's advocate, surely you have to consider pregnancy as a potential outcome every time you have sex, therefore unless you slip and fall on a cock, it's not really an accident Wink

ruledbyheart · 01/07/2013 20:17

3 out of 4 accidental pregnancies here, my 2nd I was on the injection so no user error, 3rd I was on the pill but had been ill and condom split and this pregnancy comes about after being told I am infertile by a specialist after many scans and hormone tests and being booked for a hysterectomy.

So YANBU!

whatsonyourplate · 01/07/2013 20:18

YANBU my third was -a huge shock- accident. But am being extra careful to make sure it doesn't happen again.

IndiansInTheLobby · 01/07/2013 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlepeas · 01/07/2013 20:20

My happy accident wasn't a proper accident as we knew there was a chance of getting pregnant - I fell pregnant before my first period after having dc1, I was bf and he was under 6 months so we figured we were fairly safe, although we knew there was a chance. I think if you knowingly take a risk, it isn't really an accident - do you think she means that? Playing devil's advocate, you could argue that having sex at all, even using contraception, is a knowing risk and the only way to prevent pregnancy is to abstain. Perhaps that is what she's getting at?

YANBU by the way - I agree with you, just trying to understand what she means.

Januarymadness · 01/07/2013 20:20

Hmm I am a bit torn here. Of COURSE her sweeping statement that there is no such thing as an accidental pregnancy is utter bullshit. However I think accidents are a bad definition. There are contraception failures, there are common sense failures, there are flat out thinking failures and there are situation manipulations. You cant really group them all together

Namechanger012345 · 01/07/2013 20:23

I got pregnant by accident as a lot of people do, of course it can happen. I did get a few Hmm faces from some of my friends though as well as a nurse who seemed to not believe me that this could have happened while using contraception!

mrsjay · 01/07/2013 20:23

ocht you see it on here all the time there is contraception for all there is no excuse for unplanned pregnancy blah blah, yes it happens whether people think it is true is up to them but they are wrong this woman was an obvious idiot who thought she knew better, It did happen to me too ,

Itsjustafleshwound · 01/07/2013 20:24

Does it really matter what she thinks - why are you so cross? It isn't odd it is a stupid and crass comment to make.

No contraception method is 100% accurate so there are accidents. But 3???

mrsjay · 01/07/2013 20:24

I got pregnant on depro ,

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 01/07/2013 20:26

I had an accidental pregnancy, so I would have to say they do exist.

Original poster
TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 20:26

Sorry I'm trying to post and rant to DH/DM about this!

I'd say you can have sex without expecting to get pregnant and so the slipping and falling on a cock analogy is a bit silly. Its not accidental sex its accidental pregnancy.

I also don't think contraception failure is the only reason for accidental pregnancy. If whatever reason you didn't think you would get pregnant, and you do its an accident.

DS1- Accident 1- I can't even say how this happened, I was 18, technically on the pill and we did generally use condoms, but as it was a rather drink and drug heavy relationship I'm not sure I was religious with all the pill taking or if certain things didn't interact with the pill.

DS3- Accident 2- I was on the pill and taking it properly, still got pregnant. It worked very well for a number of years, but for some reason he managed to appear

DS4- Accident 3- I had the implant, was told wait a month to stop using condoms, followed this advice, waited 6 weeks. Got pregnant week 7.

OP posts:
applepieinthesky · 01/07/2013 20:27

Yes contraception failures happen. However, most people I know who have 'accidental' pregnancies were using no contraception ie not actively trying for a baby. In my book this isn't accidental at all but they claim it is. That really annoys me.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 01/07/2013 20:28

DD2 born practically clutching the damn copper coil.

ShaggingZumbaStylee · 01/07/2013 20:29

of course it does!

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