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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think Accidental Pregnancy Does Exist?

159 replies

TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 19:59

Just had a very bizarre conversation with mother collecting DDs friend.

I won't list of the exact details of the conversation, but on discussing a certain topic it came to light that she doesn't believe anyone accidentally gets pregnant.

I informed her it bloody well does, I've 3 of my 5 DC as evidence. She then scoffed at this and gave me a wink before walking off with her DD.

She used the sentence, "everyone knows accidents are bullshit, people never buy that excuse". Is this true? Or have I been bullshitting my way through the past 20 years without realising.

I feel quite annoyed that she implied I was lying. I'm a confrontational person but as this is DD's new friend I was trying to keep it under control.

AIBU to think its pretty fucking obvious, especially to those with a child or just basic sex education, how one might become pregnant by accident?

OP posts:
MamaChubbyLegs · 01/07/2013 21:02

Im petrified about getting pregnant again. High stroke risk, so no hormonal contraception for me. Condoms only.

Still, some people insinuate that I planned my surprise. What do they think I did? Stuck holes in the condoms? FGS

absentmindeddooooodles · 01/07/2013 21:02

Fell pg with ds on the pill. Had always worked for me before. Was on it years and years and no accidents. I took it religiously at the same time every day. Was not sick, no stomach upset. No drugs or copious amounts of alcohol or anything else that could affect it for that matter. Contraception does not work all the time. The evidence is now running round my front room covered in spag Bol chasing the dog :-)

WorraLiberty · 01/07/2013 21:03

Of course accidents happen.

But having said that, some people are just completely careless.

Not using any contraception or not using it properly and then saying you got pregnant by 'accident', is the equivalent of laying on your back in the middle of a busy motorway and saying you 'got run over by accident'.

Yes, technically it was an accident if you didn't plan either of those things

But also extremely careless.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 01/07/2013 21:03

Mama have you thuoght about sterilisation for either you or your partner?

My friend has just been sterilized after her 6th baby as she CN@T have anymore without major medical issues

Sparrowlegs248 · 01/07/2013 21:04

I have heard of two real accidents recently. One friend wondered why she couldn't lose her mummy tummy. She had been on depo provera 12 months and found out she was pregnant with only 8 weeks to go!!! Another tried for many years, eventually had ivf for first pregnancy. Child is nearly 4 and hey Presto she's preggrs !! No she wasn't using contraception but honestly didn't think she would need to. No such luck for me.

honeytea · 01/07/2013 21:05

I think people my mother often claim that unplanned pregnancies were accidents.

Original poster
TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 21:12

Neverknowinglyundersold, that's an interesting point about weight and if true should surely be more publicised considering how many overweight people there are. Don't think you need to don a hard hat to say something which could be quite useful to others

However I can say for myself that before my first pregnancy, and during the early stages, I was 'underweight'. Had lots of you must eat more talks from various medical people at the time, despite eating like a horse. The only period of my life where I've been overweight was after DS4, so I don't think it was a factor in my accidents.

I would class DS1 as an accident because whilst I've admitted drink and various substances were present at the time and mean I can't be certain, we generally did use contraception and didn't have much sex when drunk or on anything because he could never get it up. So to me it feels very much an accident.

I was pregnant when I was much younger, but thankfully had a mc, I would never say that was an accident because that was a total lack of contraception and just sheer stupidity. I can tell the difference,

OP posts:
reggiebean · 01/07/2013 21:22

I took the pill properly (exact same time every day, without fail) for years, and was actually only on it because it helps keep my skin clear, as I had been told I wouldn't be able to get pregnant very easily, if at all.

Suddenly, I start feeling queasy and faint and mainly took a pregnancy test so the doctors could rule that out, and viola. Pregnant by accident.

Not the best of accidents, but yes, it absolutely happens.

Arseface · 01/07/2013 21:29

Twins on the coil here.

DH has now been snipped and we're taking no chances (no shagging) till he's medically confirmed wriggler-free!

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 01/07/2013 21:38

Reindeer Thanks, and yes he does. :o I can't remember DS1 smelling like that but it's a lovely smell!

However, after reading on in this thread I am now bloody petrified to ever have sex again!

NotYoMomma · 01/07/2013 21:44

I would say your ds1 was more like playing Russian roulette with a sperm and egg tbf

course accidents happen, that woman is batshit.

I do however know two nudge wink accident women so maybe she has just met the wrong type of people previously? shrug

megsmouse · 01/07/2013 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

williaminajetfighter · 01/07/2013 22:06

So many of the accidents on this thread happen to women who seem to have a lot of children(in my books 4 is a lot!). So it sounds like there are a contingent of women who are very fertile and thus more 'accident prone'.

FavadiCacao · 01/07/2013 22:07

DD happened on pill plus condoms! I used to be so punctual, I knew she was coming (ah! ah!) within two hours of missing my period!!!!! The irony: it took years before ds came along (same dad!). Accidents do happen! I love my first 'accident' and not only do I love but I'm grateful of my second 'chance'. :)

babyhmummy01 · 01/07/2013 22:12

I am treatment, told by obs and gynae for 17 years that I was infertile and out of the blue I am pregnant, never been on pill cos it made me ill when I was a teenager and up to a brief incident with current dp where condoms failed always used them with new partners in early dayd. Few lustful encounters with dp and am apparently misguided faith in Dr's assurance and am up the duff to the tu.e of 33 week so very possible I can.assure you

Hassled · 01/07/2013 22:14

That's an interesting point, william. I'm probably one of those - 4 DCs, 2 of whom were completely unexpected.

And TigOldBitties statistics were interesting - I think (I may well have that wrong) that her 3/2500 failure rate is 0.12%, which has some sort of logic given the 99% success rate of condoms. Have I got that right?

Swallowing · 01/07/2013 22:14

I think that it does depend on individual interpretation of the term 'accidental' ultimately. I think 'accidental' means completely beyond your control. Already on this thread we have heard, amongst others, things like 'I didn't know that a gap of a week between coming off the pill and getting an injection would mean I could get pregnant' or 'I was very drunk, but it was still an accident'. I don't think these are accidents as they are not beyond a persons control. I think that although accidental pregnancies do indeed happen, they are much rarer than this thread would have people believe. I think many times accidental is used instead of unplanned. I think people prefer to use the term accidental as unplanned may imply carelessness or stupidity.

gettingeasiernow · 01/07/2013 22:22

I practised natural birth control all the way through an 8 year relationship, got pregnant 9 times intentionally (misscarried eight), each time on first month of trying, and never got pregnant when not trying, having very active sex life. So I think accidents don't need to happen if you are knowledgeably practising natural bc.

That's not quite the same thing as saying a different method doesn't sometimes fail, or that you fail to implement another method properly, but I suspect the latter happens more often than the former.

YoniBottsBumgina · 01/07/2013 22:28

Just to point out, your 3 out of 2500 isn't strictly "within the failure rate" because failure rates with contraception are based on the amount of couples who fall pregnant within a year. For most women if you are fertile and sexually active for approximately 25 years and use reliable contraception properly every single time you have sex, around 1 in 4 women will experience a contraception failure once in their life. Which is higher than you would think, and doesn't account for all the other reasons that accidental pregnancy could happen of course either.

StuntGirl · 01/07/2013 22:30

Jesus you lot are terrifying me Shock

YoniBottsBumgina · 01/07/2013 22:33

Within a year rather than being a 1% chance of failure every time you have sex. (sorry meant to say this)

Purple2012 · 01/07/2013 22:36

I have a friend who got pregnant using condoms, when she had th injection and with a coil.

fuckwittery · 01/07/2013 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bimbabirba · 01/07/2013 22:37

How can anyone get pregnant on the pill AND condom Shock
I'm never having sex again!

YoniBottsBumgina · 01/07/2013 22:37

Well what it basically means is that statistically on the pill you'd have to be having sex for 99 years to reliably conceive. Since this is unlikely, most women are well protected by the pill. But spread those 100 years between 4 women and statistically one of them will fall pregnant while using the pill.

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