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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think Accidental Pregnancy Does Exist?

159 replies

TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 19:59

Just had a very bizarre conversation with mother collecting DDs friend.

I won't list of the exact details of the conversation, but on discussing a certain topic it came to light that she doesn't believe anyone accidentally gets pregnant.

I informed her it bloody well does, I've 3 of my 5 DC as evidence. She then scoffed at this and gave me a wink before walking off with her DD.

She used the sentence, "everyone knows accidents are bullshit, people never buy that excuse". Is this true? Or have I been bullshitting my way through the past 20 years without realising.

I feel quite annoyed that she implied I was lying. I'm a confrontational person but as this is DD's new friend I was trying to keep it under control.

AIBU to think its pretty fucking obvious, especially to those with a child or just basic sex education, how one might become pregnant by accident?

OP posts:
MrsZoidberg · 02/07/2013 17:24

Hmmm all you going on about "accidents" after DH's snip are scaring the hell out of me Shock

I have not had a period for 42 days, but put it down to menopause. I did not at any stage contemplate any other scenario. Shit, I knew I shouldn't had clicked on this thread, I'm now going to have to POAS.

internationallove985 · 02/07/2013 18:23

Of course accidental pregnancies can happen. Contraception can fail. The same may happen to her! She like right closed minded and judgemental bitch. xx

allbie · 02/07/2013 19:38

Just to be absolutely sure we would stop our accidents...as lovely as they are...I was sterilised after DH had his second vasectomy!! Ho!

Ruby1080 · 02/07/2013 22:05

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns about this post, so we've agreed to take it down.

dementedmumof6 · 02/07/2013 23:13

Accidents happen my 1st was unplanned condom split took morning after pill and still became pregnant 2nd and 3rd planned 4th a definite accident, had my tubes tied, waited the month the doctor told me to before having sex without condoms and fell pregnant the first time I did, it seems i'm the one in 200. then fell pregnant while on the pill and using condoms and unfortunately lost that baby, so baby 5 and 6 were then planned, and now have had my tubes removed completely so no chance of further accidents

TheDoctrineOfAllan · 02/07/2013 23:39

POAS, MrsZ, g'wan g'wan!

meboo · 03/07/2013 01:02

Of course there are no accidents, if you have sex, regardless of contraception you stand a chance of becoming pregnant - that is not an accident it is a deliberate act.

nooka · 03/07/2013 01:46

The sex was deliberate. The potential for getting pregnant is a risk that you run. People seem to be using the term 'accident' with regard to pregnancy in a completely different way to normal circumstances.

I had an accidental pregnancy due to a birth control cock up. I am totally responsible for dd coming along when she did, but it was completely unplanned and not my/our intention to get pregnant at that time. Fits the dictionary definition of accident as the pregnancy was to us 'unexpected and unintentional'. Perhaps it shouldn't have been unexpected, but most people I knew at the time spent months getting pregnant especially after recently breastfeeding (years in the case of both my sisters and my mother) so I really did not think we were running a very high risk.

nooka · 03/07/2013 01:47

Made me paranoid after dd was born though. I really was only able to relax after dh got the snip.

courgetteDOTcom · 03/07/2013 02:36

Eldest stepson was a condom failure. My first pregnancy was on the pill. My most recent we weren't even having sex Blush Confused which proves my theory we get pregnant by talking about it! I made the mistake of pointing out my period was two weeks before our wedding and we would have a honeymoon baby... 6 months later along comes our baby. By dates I was pregnant two days before the wedding. I was starving him because we're too fertile for him not to get the snip (thrombophiliac so limited options) he only has himself to blame that a year later he still hadn't been doneHmm when I've been trying to get him there 5 years.

Orangebirdonatable · 03/07/2013 06:41

I agree that many of these stories are not accidental pregnanies.

I had an unplanned pregnancy when using the withdrawal method. It was not an accident.

foreverondiet · 03/07/2013 06:57

A lot of accidents aren't really accidents - but sloppy use contraceptives but yes some extremely fertile couples do get pregnant by accident even when using contraception.

YummyYummyYum · 03/07/2013 12:13

Accidents happen. My MIL says she had 3 accidents. One regular pill, second coil, and 3rd mini pill. Only 1st one planned. She had a hysterectomy after the 4th. She did not want to take more risks.

peanutMD · 03/07/2013 12:19

I was a pill/condom failure.
My brother was a coil failure.
My sister was planned BUT her ID twin was not :o

ICBINEG · 03/07/2013 12:23

If you are using contraceptives as intended then a pregnancy is an accident in the same way that a car accident is an accident.

You cannot have a car accident without leaving you house, so you make a deliberate decision to do so....it is still an accident if something happens.

courgetteDOTcom · 03/07/2013 16:22

Can I just point out, we weren't having sex (yes he's his!) with my youngest, not even withdrawal. I'm convinced we get pregnant by discussing it. He's just way too fertile!

olidusUrsus · 03/07/2013 17:37

Courgette, are you seriously saying you didn't have sex but managed to conceive a child?

courgetteDOTcom · 03/07/2013 17:54

I'm not saying we were holding hands and kissing, but from my last period to when I got pregnant we hadn't had sex, I had enough scans to know dates were exactly right from my last period. You can get pregnant without PIV.

honeytea · 03/07/2013 18:27

Courgette that is amazing! I would have called him Jesus if that had happened to me!

ComposHat · 03/07/2013 18:28

Stupidest comment ever as a result of 'surprise' pregnancy: my husband was getting a vasectomy next week. A bit like driving a car with no brakes and saying 'I was going to get them fixed next week' when the inevitable crash happens.

This was from an intelligent woman too.

Gooeyhead · 03/07/2013 18:43

I'm in the "have sex you run the risk of getting pregnant" camp... I don't think "accidental pregnancy" is the right wording here; listening to your stories then I'd say "a shock/surprise pregnancy" rather than an accident!!

Solari · 03/07/2013 18:58

Accidental pregnancy without sex is indeed possible, although very rare. All it takes is for Ingredient A (sperm) to meet Ingredient B (egg), and the little swimmers can be quite lively. A drop or two transferred via finger to the vagina (or even in close proximity), can quite happily make their way all the way up into the womb given helpful (moist) conditions.

Rare though!

HeffalumpTheFlump · 03/07/2013 19:18

One of my DH's friends had to take the father of her baby to court because he did not believe he was the father. They had never had sex, but he was the only person she had had any sexual contact with. She paid for a private DNA and he accused her of faking it. Finally it was proven in court that he was the father. I have to admit I would be pretty dubious in that situation too!! Now that's definitely an accidental pregnancy!!

expatinscotland · 03/07/2013 19:18

There are many many accidents on MN.

gindrinker · 03/07/2013 20:52

I think there are accidents and 'accidents'.
If you get pregnant with the implant/IUD/ injection, then you've taken reasonable precautions and getting pregnant although possible isn't very likely. Classed as an accident.
Taking the pill irregularly, using condoms badly etc is taking your life in your own hands.
Not using contraception and chancing it is just irresponsible or trying to have a baby without actually discussing it. Laws of averages state that you'll loose the game at some point.

Then there are the loons who stop taking the pill/stab holes in condoms is play the 'accident card'

I'm 29 and I've never had a scare let alone take a pregnancy test to rule it out.