Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

To Think Accidental Pregnancy Does Exist?

159 replies

TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 19:59

Just had a very bizarre conversation with mother collecting DDs friend.

I won't list of the exact details of the conversation, but on discussing a certain topic it came to light that she doesn't believe anyone accidentally gets pregnant.

I informed her it bloody well does, I've 3 of my 5 DC as evidence. She then scoffed at this and gave me a wink before walking off with her DD.

She used the sentence, "everyone knows accidents are bullshit, people never buy that excuse". Is this true? Or have I been bullshitting my way through the past 20 years without realising.

I feel quite annoyed that she implied I was lying. I'm a confrontational person but as this is DD's new friend I was trying to keep it under control.

AIBU to think its pretty fucking obvious, especially to those with a child or just basic sex education, how one might become pregnant by accident?

OP posts:

Sallystyle · 01/07/2013 22:37

Well, I fell pregnant on the pill and the bloody IUD.

IUD was still in place, they took it out and I was expected to miscarriage.. it was that or risk a late term miscarriage or stillbirth. She is five now

I took the pill religiously too.

Sallystyle · 01/07/2013 22:40

miscarry*

ShadowStorm · 01/07/2013 22:41

Given that no form of contraception - other than complete abstinence - is 100% effective, even when used properly, I agree that it's certainly possible to have an accidental pregnancy.

But I also think that the definition of "accidental" can get a bit blurred. And sometimes people say that the pregnancy was accidental rather than unplanned when they were being careless and not using contraception properly, or at all.

I'd guess there's probably a lot more pregnancies relating to careless (or non) use of contraception than there are relating to failure of properly used contraception.

YoniBottsBumgina · 01/07/2013 22:41

Or does it work like that? If you roll a dice you stand a 1 in 6 chance of rolling a 3. So if you roll the dice 6 times there's a high probability that there will be a 3 in there, but not 100%. (brain explodes) Maybe I need to read up more on probability?

EMUZ · 01/07/2013 22:44

So I've just had a copper coil in, I'm using that along with persona to track my cycle. Should be safe... But after reading this I'm tempted to throw condoms in the mix too

bimbabirba · 01/07/2013 22:46

But Samu, did you forget to take a pill? Or was the IUD not fitter properly?
Honestly I'm struggling to believe how that can happen to someone who takes the pill properly. Doesn't it thicken the lining of the womb and prevents implantation as well as most of the times inhibiting ovulation? If you combine these two with a barrier method or an IUD then I find it hard to believe!

chickenliversfortea · 01/07/2013 22:47

It would be hard to have 3 by accident though? If the pill didn't work for the first one or two one would assume you'd change contraception.

Think it is quite easy to have babies whilst using condoms as "proper" usage can be tricky.

Perhaps she is making the point that now with morning after pill and early pregnancy abortions pills having a baby is more of a choice than an inevitable outcome.

Sallystyle · 01/07/2013 22:50

I didn't forget to take the pill at all. Wasn't on antibiotics either.

The IUD was perfectly in place. I had a scan to check the placement when I got the positive pregnancy test. It was exactly where it was meant to be.

Ahh.. sorry, I wasn't on the IUD and the pill at the same time. They were two different pregnancies.

StuntGirl · 01/07/2013 22:50

I'm tempted to kick my partner out to the spare bedroom. Don't even want to risk sharing the bed now

I do agree sometimes people say accident when thats not what they mean. I remember my friend telling me how he was shocked and surprised that his wife was pregnant. Eventually turns out they had NEVER used contraception. I told him my only surprise was it took so long to happen!

Original poster

TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 22:50

Yoni I'm shit with anything maths or science related, maybe that's why I keep getting knocked up, but I just based those statistics on my own assumptions. I did have a feeling I'd be wrong.

I still don't think 3 in 2500 is a particularly high amount if you just say contraception snt 100% effective without taking into account the specific failure rates.

OP posts:

bimbabirba · 01/07/2013 22:50

Phew!

iamadoozermum · 01/07/2013 22:51

EMUZ I'm right now breastfeeding DC4 conceived with a copper coil in situ. Had it removed once pregnancy was confirmed and doctor said it was in exactly the right place and had been in for two years so she had no idea why it hadn't worked. Apparently, if the coil fails it usually happens in the first couple of months and is because it has moved out of position. DH has said we're never having sex again (not sure how long that is actually going to last for ).

Sallystyle · 01/07/2013 22:52

And dh is snipped now.

HeffalumpTheFlump · 01/07/2013 22:53

I would very much disagree with your friend as I am currently 25 weeks pregnant, and it was very much an accidental conception!!

I have PCOS and expected to have to ttc for years, so when we had one split condom I was not really concerned. I hadn't had a period for 4 months, due to the pcos so had no way to tell if I was ovulating or not. This baby was definitely meant to be as I fell pregnant from that one split condom. The chances of that happening in my situation still boggle my mind!

Very much an accident though!!

Original poster

TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 22:53

Oh and i did think this earlier but just made the same mistake again.

It's 2 in 2500 as Ds1 is with a different man.

I probably am quite fertile but I don't have any way of measuring this.

OP posts:

StuntGirl · 01/07/2013 22:57

I think your 4 kids are a good measure

reggiebean · 01/07/2013 22:57

bimbabirba Yes, in theory, that's what the pill does, but it clearly doesn't always work. I wasn't ill before I became pregnant so didn't throw up a pill, and I have an alarm that goes off on my phone, so I actually take it within a 5 minute window of the same time every single day. I was 22 or 23 when it happened, so it certainly wasn't because I had sex more than the probability allows for!

YoniMatopoeia · 01/07/2013 22:57

My dd was conceived while I had a merina coil - in the right place.

Accidents do happen.

quoteunquote · 01/07/2013 23:00

my happy accident is 22 working in london on his break from uni,

we were using lots of contraception, we were very very surprised, my friends took the mick as I was always the one making sure everyone was using several forms of contraception,

the smallest cell in the human body is a sperm, (the largest an egg), tricky little things, it is impressive that contraception works as well as it does.

tabulahrasa · 01/07/2013 23:04

I know someone who conceived a few years after her DH got the all clear from a vasectomy...that seems pretty accidental to me, lol.

Original poster

TigOldBitties · 01/07/2013 23:05

Stunt my 5 don't seem like that much. I'm one of 8, all but 2 of my siblings have at least 4 children, some have 6 or 7. DH is one of 11 and his siblings pop out kids like there is no contraception.

I would be intrigued to know if I was more fertile than the average, whatever that is. Then if so, if that has influenced my accidents or if it was just a couple of lucky shots.

OP posts:

Sallystyle · 01/07/2013 23:05

My daughter is actually 4 not 5

My mil did accuse me of taking my IUD out and putting it back in again which was stupid, if I had wanted another child I would have just had it removed properly. I suffered with hyperemesis with my 4th and feared getting pregnant again and dh was on the waiting list for the snip.

Weegiemum · 01/07/2013 23:17

I had an accident, mirena coil failure. I'd been advised the mirena as I'd been very unwell with kidney problems in my pg with ds, and was told it was more reliable than having my tubes tied, especially with he risked of anaesthetic at that point. Dh was on waiting list.

Once I found out I was pg with dc3, and my kidney problems came back (I was offered a 2nd trimester termination, and lucky to keep both kidneys), dh was bumped up the list and had the vasectomy "all clear" before dd2 was born (this isn't normal policy, but another pregnancy might have killed me).

Even with the vas all clear I had another mirena and used condoms until a year+ of dh's neg test.

Nicest accident of my life, but I wouldn't relish going through the pregnancy and 2.5 years of recovery again!

olgaga · 01/07/2013 23:18

An awful lot of the "accidents" described here sound rather inevitable!

quoteunquote · 01/07/2013 23:26

I was on pill, condom and cap(and jelly), turns out that pill does nothing to me, and DS1 father, has one ball and has never had another child since, they have given up now, we felt at the time it must be a determined sort of baby, one of the factors in not going through with an abortion.

one of my friends who is a midwife has seen so many coils in placentas, she has banned her daughters from rely on them.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread