To NOT book DD a pamper party? She's DESPERATE apparently.

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

She's about to turn 9. She was/is a very shy child but this year has seen something of a turnaround. In fact I hardly recognise her.

She's got some lovely friends old and new...she appears to be turning into a "pink and girly" girl and is asking for a pamper party....where they have a "makeover" etc.

I want her to have a pottery painting party.

AIBU not to do the pamper thing? It's going agin the grain!

YABU. It's her birthday.

Where did she even learn the word "pamper"?

YANBU, horrible idea, hate this sort of thing. But it is the sort of thing to help her confidence. Sits on fence

If she wants a pamper party, and that's what her and her friends have got in mind a pottery painting party is going to go down like a lead balloon!!

If you don't want to do the pamper party, (can't blame you, but I probably would - it is her birthday after all) do something else that's a bit more grown up as that is clearly what she is angling for. How about a pamper day with you... find a spa day where you could have a massage, a swim, lunch perhaps? or a cinema trip, or ice skating?? Pottery painting is for very young children or adults, not DC who are becoming preteens.

In a couple of years she'll want to be a goth and you will look back on this time with fond nostalgia.

I understand why some people might not want a pamper party for their DD, but why do you want her to do a pottery painting party?

YANBU (but paint your own pottery if you're that into it!)

I totally hate this sort of thing. But....

for a shy girl coming out of her shell I would go for the pamper thing. It's going to be pink nail varnish and glitter - what the hell.

Let her have a pamper party if that is what she wants! I am a feminist but feminism is about women having a choice and a pamper party is what she wants to choose!

A disco would be better than pottery
You could paint nails during it

Yabu.

I often feel as though the anti pink thing goes too far, whereby little girls are no longer allowed to enjoy being girly at all anymore.

If it's what she really wants and cost isn't an issue, I don't see the problem.

I think you are unreasonable yes, it is her birthday after all. I am not saying I agree with pamper parties but she is 9 and it is an impressionable age, not like 5 when one day she is into this and next day into that. It is easy to make an impression on other 9 year olds and this is what she wants to do. It will probably boost her confidence no end.

Give her the pamper party and go pottery painting with her on your own if you want her to do it that much

YABU. She's coming out of her shell finally. If "pampering" is what it takes to make her feel good both within herself and amongst her group then let her. She'll be a surly, black-wearing teen soon so you'll never have to see pink and glitter again!

9 years old and a pamper party? Fucking hell.

What's wrong with it Josephine?

She was bored? Even though she had other children for company?
I've never known my kids to be bored at any type of party when there are other kids to hang out with.

My Dd has been to one of these things....the one I looked at when coerced by her was an "older" girls one...so aimed at 10 year olds. It seems to be hair and nails, a little makeup and then "cocktails"

I dunno. Some friends in her class have had pottery parties this year...they're "young" 9s and 10s. Not a sophisticated bunch. I just don't know. She doesn't want bowling either. I won't do sleepovers. Not going there!

YAbu. I agree with waffle. My dd1 had a pamper party for her 9th birthday, she now lives in black and while I know this is a phase too I'm glad she ha the glittery phase.

Mind you, Im all for a bit of nail art and glitter eyeshadow, spray in hair colour etc, not the one I read about on here this week where children were getting ears pierced and fake tans!

I looked at the title of the thread and was going to come on here to say their minds can be changed if you sell them another idea smartly enough.

Then I read she was turning 9 and was coming out of her shell. I've got a 9 yo girl. It's a very funny age. Mine is becoming more image conscious in that her hair has to be just so for school, with a nice hairband. I think this helps her self esteem so I took her to get a good haircut in a slightly more grown up style and I'm loving the effect it's having on her confidence, even though deep down I want to lecture her that having nice hair is not the be all of everything.

I don't know your DD, but I'm guessing this sort of party would do wonders for her too, in terms of making her feel more grown up.

Over my cold dead body, will my dds have a fucking pamper party. Yeuck

Yabu she is your dd she is not you and maybe she doesn't like pottery.A couple of hours playing with make up at a party is no different to a three year old putting on mummy's heels it's just dress up.
If your dd actually wanted to wear make up the rest of the time that would be different.

I hear you Growlithe....it IS important that she's given room for self expression.;

My dd is as pink and glittery and ghettotastic as is possible. I have no doubt that her adult life will revolve around shoes and bags.

Fine

But a 9 year old shouldn't be encoraged to preempt and titivate as a birthday treat, or for confidence. They should be our having fun. Exercise is great for confidence. Do a roller skating party, iceskating, swimming, founders in the park, bike ride, cinema....there's loads of options

It wouldn't be my choice of party and I would try to encourage her to do something else (horseriding?) but if her heart was set on it, I'd let her do it - they wont go to hell in a handcart will they.