To NOT book DD a pamper party? She's DESPERATE apparently.

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

She's about to turn 9. She was/is a very shy child but this year has seen something of a turnaround. In fact I hardly recognise her.

She's got some lovely friends old and new...she appears to be turning into a "pink and girly" girl and is asking for a pamper party....where they have a "makeover" etc.

I want her to have a pottery painting party.

AIBU not to do the pamper thing? It's going agin the grain!

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

Stunt I did offer her skating, bowling, horse riding, arts and crafts, pottery.....no....she doesn't want any of them. Our house is far too small for a gaggle of small girls to come to nevr mind sleepover. I can't host and there are no options other than this that she wants.

[StuntGirl]

Ah ok. I apologise. Your post read as if you had just just disregarded every option while fixating on this pottery thing.

Like I said, personally I wouldn't because I don't feel make up on a child is appropriate. I am aware others feel differently. How strongly do you feel about it?

[Twattybollocks]

Pamper parties start early round here, dd went to her first one last year aged 6. She came home with sparkly pink nail varnish, clear lip gloss, blue eyeshadow with lots of glitter and her hair done up in a pretty ribbon bow thing.
She had a whale of a time, and tea was a picnic on the carpet with the dolls and a small tea set with water in as well as party food. They were playing at being grown up. Totally age appropriate, and no different to playing at dressing up in princess clothes, or fireman outfits etc as role play.
As long as it doesn't involve fake tan, false eyelashes and gel nails i don't see a problem with it.
Dd is having a hot tub party this year, but rather than relaxing in the tub and chatting, I'm quite sure it will actually be a paddling pool/water party with the added bonus of the water being nice and warm and with bubbles and lights, no big deal in my book, and it beats sitting round a table in a sweaty soft play listening to 100 or so kids screaming and running around. At least I get to relax in the hot tub myself afterwards!

[Thisisaeuphemism]

I don't know what I'd do if I were you! Probably be bulldozed into it.

I hate parties where the girls sit around having things done to them - I want them to do things!

The idea of incorporating glitter/tshirt making etc is good.

[Eastpoint]

My oldest DD has helped at pamper/spa parties. She and a friend painted nails for an friend's daughters party. If you have any teenager babysitters you could see if they will help. There was a mini nail salon in one room, towels laid out on a bed so they could have facials in another, hair styling & temporary tattoos. The party attendees had little voucher books (a4 folded up) and could have each treatment once. They had grapes, fruit etc as you eat heathily at a spa. I think having it at home made it seem less commercial & more how to look after yourself now you are getting older.

[littlewhitebag]

My DD had a pamper party when she was about 7 I think. It was lovely and relaxing rather than the chaotic noisy usual parties. It was all very tame. Pale nail polish, child friendly products etc. The girls loved it.

[Branleuse]

just let her have a fucking pamper party ffs.

Have a pottery party for YOUR birthday instead. Shes telling you loud and clear what she wants. Let her get it out of her system

[BrandiBroke]

I really don't understand the view that it's her birthday so she should be allowed to do whatever the hell she wants. She is still a child and if her mum wants to veto something she can.

I know exactly what my mum would have said if I'd wanted a 'pamper party' aged 9. She would have said no. If I then said I didn't want any of the parties she then suggested she would have said 'that's ok, you don't have to have a party.' I am sure I would then have quickly chosen another option and had a great time. I'm sure the OP's daughter has lots of interests and would love doing something else if she is told she can't do the pamper party.

If the OP decides there's no harm in it then that's up to her and she should go ahead and let her do it. But just because a child wants something and it's her birthday is no reason to give in if you are against it.

[Hulababy]

Wouldn't be my first choice, but at 9y and if that was what they really wanted, I'd let her. Nail polish, hair braiding, bit of lip glass and glitter.

I'd check what they do in the in between bits whilst waiting, or finished though.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Branleuse

What happened to polite discussion on here

[Branleuse]

i dont know, ive never tried it fanjo ;)


seriously though, its not like shes asking for a stippers party. Its something that loads of little girls and probably boys would enjoy. Smellies, and glittery shit, they love it.
All 3 of my DCs would love it, and two of them are boys.

As long as youre not waxing and shaving, surely its just skincare and hair plaiting and colourful nails??

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

As it happens I agree with you. .and it will mean so much to her to be popular with her friends.

You were just a little err strident

[heronsfly]

My dd2 works a few hours on a saturday at a shop that offers childrens pamper parties, its all very tame as other posters have said, but one of the best bits is they all sit down to tea with proper tea pot, cups and saucers and are served tiny sandwiches and cakes that's probably how they fill up the time.
I think the op should look into what the pamper party venue is offering, she could be pleasantly surprised.

[theodorakisses]

Pottery painting party sounds like a punishment, a sort of community service. Apart from that, what reddaisy said early on.

[RhondaJean]

My dd2 had a pottery painting party for her 7th birthday and all the girls loved that too, they had a seperate room, got to paint and had music and then their food came in little boxes for them, it was really good. Don't slate it either!

[lljkk]

Sounds like a Pamper party is just the middle school version of a Princess Party. Can't see the problem.

[googietheegg]

My niece just turned 10 and she had a bath bomb making party - a kit bought off eBay for about 60 pounds, all girls sat round the kitchen table making bath bombs and then taking them home in a nice bag. Worked a treat!

[theodorakisses]

Ok, I should say enforced pottery paintings party. My first foray into expatdom was a hideous scrap booking baby shower where a shiny suited woman forced us to make crafty photo frames. I got home and was so traumatised that I had to get very, very drunk to remind me I was alive. I now avoid all ladies only events by saying I simply don't find that sort of thing comfortable. Sorry, didn't mean to slate something your child really enjoyed, that sounded horrid, please accept my apology. It is my own trauma of crafty Afrikaans women not a happy child that formed my opinion.

[theodorakisses]

It was a low blow, I really am sorry

[RhondaJean]

Oh don't apologise that sounds awful - perhaps we need to replace community payback orders with enforced crafting sessions!

[theodorakisses]

Seriously, if you let the Afrikaans ladies sewing group (my husband calls it the fascist sewing circle) run it, the would be no re offending!

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

Alright alright...no enforced pottery painting. I won't torture the kid.

I've double checked and the pamper preeny precious princess pinky puffle ploppy party is actually very reasonably priced. 2 hours, "hair up" nails done and "light makeup" in addition to a disco room, buffet and "cocktails" again She's happy. I'm less stressed.

[theodorakisses]

The thing is, things girls of that age want are often naff. In the late 70s I thought I would just die if I couldn't have a windy house. My parents had a beautiful one made for me, a lovely Georgian townhouse and I was gutted it wasn't Mae of plastic. Fast forward a few years and I can remember wanting a donkey jacket and a horrible cardigan off the market in the style of a baseball jacket. I sulked for weeks over that . I also got banned from a shoe shop aged 6 for throwing a huge strop because my mean mum wouldn't buy me a pair of adult ladies white stilettos.