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AIBU?

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Original poster

Jeremy Forrest verdict - aibu to be confused?

999 replies

noddyboulder · 20/06/2013 14:54

Yep, I don't think even his own parents could deny he's a massive, hideous scumbag with no impulse control - but how can he have been found guilty of abduction when the girl he had an affair with said it was her idea to go to France and she went willingly?

Can somebody legal shed some light?

OP posts:
OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 20/06/2013 14:59

Am not a legal bod, but I think it's because as she was under the age of 16 - the age of consent - she is not considered legally able to give consent to these circumstances. I could be wrong though!

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/06/2013 15:01

Because she wasn't old enough to make that judgement. If my 2 yo went off with someone who offered her sweets, we would rightly say she was abducted. The line has to be somewhere and we draw it at 16. Added to the fact that he was in a position of trust and her TEACHER.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 20/06/2013 15:01

She's a child. Therefore he was responsible.

MrsLyman · 20/06/2013 15:01

It's because of his actions leading up to this point, he was found to have groomed her to think that this was an appropriate course of action.

diabolo · 20/06/2013 15:02

I am also confused. Obviously he behaved totally inappropriately, but she was the one who wanted to "run away". I suppose the jury were instructed to follow the letter of the law, but it seems bizarre to me.

As soon as she is 16 and he is free, they will be together anyway.

LineRunner · 20/06/2013 15:02

He was her teacher.

Greythorne · 20/06/2013 15:05

I am confused that anyone is confused.

Grown ups cannot take children away to other countries with them and have sex with them.

How can you not see that is wrong?

The girl was a child.

He was her teacher.

He does not get to do what he wants even if she is OK with it.

FFS.

nethunsreject · 20/06/2013 15:09

What Greythorne said.

Ffs people. SHe was a child, he was in a position of authority,

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 20/06/2013 15:10

But we only have her word for it that it was his idea. How do we know he's not convinced her that it would be better for him that she says it's his idea?

But as Greythorne says above - it doesn't matter if she did "instigate" it, she was a child, and he was her teacher, he knew very well he should have not have been doing it, even if she did or didn't think it was a great idea.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/06/2013 15:16

she was the one who wanted to "run away"

The correct course of action would have been to inform the parents, inform your supervisor at work and inform the Police/SS if there was a real risk she was going. Not, amazingly, to run away with her while having sexual relations, AKA statutory rape, with a child in your care.

Also confused as to why people are confused.

sweetestcup · 20/06/2013 15:19

In the eyes of the law shes a child - regardless of whether she wanted to run away or not, by law she is judged not to have the emotional maturity to make that decision - whats so confusing about that!

petra27 · 20/06/2013 15:21

She wanted to run away because she thought this man was the love of her life and wanted to be with him.

She thought this because he deliberately groomed her to think so, over a long period of time, and when being paid to safeguard her welfare.

FeegleFion · 20/06/2013 15:23

I, too, am confused that anyone is confused!

Child - someone who thinks it's romantic to run away with the handsome teacher who says he loves her.

Adult who groomed and raped a child whom he had a legal and moral obligation to protect, as a teacher; a person trusted with the responsibility of keeping the children in their care safe.

LIZS · 20/06/2013 15:25

even if she had said "let's run away together" , he should have had the self control , professionalism and moral integrity to say no and neither encourage her feelings nor facilitate it.

RikeBider · 20/06/2013 15:26

It doesn't matter that she "wanted to run away". As others have said, a 2 year old might be tempted away with sweets, an 8 year old might be tempted away with puppies.

At 15 she is too young to decide to leave home and go and live in France. Especially with an authority figure who has been having an inappropriate and illegal relationship with her for some time.

TroublesomeEx · 20/06/2013 15:29

Frankly, I'm amazed anyone is confused!

He is an adult, she is a child.

Children are supposed to have daft crushes on their teachers, pop stars, actors and the like. It's all part of natural development.

Adults are supposed to behave responsibly.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/06/2013 15:33

I worked in SS and addictions/homelessness. Countless clients have had crushes on me. Countless. It is a normal part of the job. Things I do:

Talk to my boss
Make sure I am not ever in a compromising or vulnerable position
Have another worker with me
Try to gently help the person understand transference, normal relationships and what this means
Change the person to another worker if it is appropriate.

Things I don't do:

Have sex with them repeatedly then run away to France.

And, these are adults.

Concreteblonde · 20/06/2013 15:35

Also confused about the confusion. Scary that you and others think this way OP.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 20/06/2013 15:35

I'm also quite shocked anyone is confused about this.

She's a child, he's an adult who was in a position of huge trust and responsibility, he abused that in the most despicable way!

LilacPeony · 20/06/2013 15:35

She was threatening suicide. In that instance you contact parents/social services etc to get her the appropriate support. You don't go abroad with her and shag her, even if she says she wants this.

youmeatsix · 20/06/2013 15:37

i think the confusion here is, he has been found guilty, of abduction
abduction is taking someone against their will, no matter who's idea it was she went willingly, its what he has been found guilty OF that is wrong/confusing

Dackyduddles · 20/06/2013 15:37

Ah.... Not only was it the girls fault, she possibly asked for it.

She was a CHILD.

Am bemused at the odd position shown by some posters above. Do you really hold that view or just trying to provoke ?

BeauNidle · 20/06/2013 15:38

I don't know if I am confused or not confused!

I though abduction was taking against someone's will. Which in this case, she was a willing partner. Maybe a different term would be appropriate such as absconding with a minor or somesuch.

Bobyan · 20/06/2013 15:39

What Grey said.

Fuzzysnout · 20/06/2013 15:39

How is anyone confused?
Would you be equally confused if your own DD was taken abroad by their teacher who had sex with them?
Would it be OK if it was your DD's idea to go abroad?

Get a grip people. There is a very good reason why it is not OK for teachers to have sex with underage pupils and if you can't understand that reason then there is something very wrong with your thinking.