Jeremy Forrest verdict - aibu to be confused?

[noddyboulder]

Yep, I don't think even his own parents could deny he's a massive, hideous scumbag with no impulse control - but how can he have been found guilty of abduction when the girl he had an affair with said it was her idea to go to France and she went willingly?

Can somebody legal shed some light?

[AnyFucker]

He smirked and preened on camera led out of court, but didn't take the stand

Says it all

Crapbag, I wasn't getting at you

[fabergeegg]

OP, the girl may have appeared to go willingly but she didn't really go willing. She was vulnerable to exploitation/coercion on two counts - being a pupil and being underage.

Don't you know that many victims of abuse appear to endure it 'willingly'? How can you even ask this question?

You're being desperately unreasonable.

[Idrinksquash]

The weirdest part is that her parents knew what was going on, to a degree. I mean the school had informed them of their enquiries as to what happened on that school trip and I believe he was only a supply teacher at the school.

I dunno, if a school told me this kind of stuff I don't think I'd be sending DD back as if nothing had happened.

[scottishmummy]

he abused role,position and he was predatory to a vulnerable adolescent
she's a vulnerable adolescent in turmoil
those in position of responsibility are not expected to prey upon vulnerable

[AnyFucker]

this young girl has been let down by several adults who were responsible for her well being

so sad

[fabergeegg]

Posters saying the teacher isn't guilty of abuse because they've known teenagers to marry - how would you like your teenager to come home from school and announce they're in a sexual relationship with someone in a position of trust? If you think this is fine, where on earth do you draw the line?

I'm speechless. How utterly and incredibly offensive.

[SomeDizzyWhore1804]

Glad some sensible people are coming out of the woodwork finally.

A very similar thing happened to me as a teenager with a teacher of a similar age to Forrest. His defence was that it was "love" but he had known me since I was 11 and he was 25. Yes I did have a massive crush on him- I thought he was amazing but I was a kid and my head was filled with the things kids heads are filled with. He should have kept it in check not groomed me and then told me he loved me. I think the love thing is almost worse than the sex thing because by telling her he loved her it almost justifies the sex to some people... "Oh but he loves her!" Bullshit. He wouldn't know what love was if it came and smacked him square in the jaw- all he knows about is how best to manipulate until he gets his own way.

I wouldn't want him near a teenage girl ever again and for what it's worth I hope that poor girl gets the support and help she needs because its going to be a fucking long road for her thanks to that bastard.

[AnyFucker]

somedizzy, I can't believe that these things need saying, tbh

[scottishmummy]

lets be clear vulnerable adolescent who self harms has impaired judgement
her impaired judgement and his posturing lead her to believe she needed him
he should have referred her to statutory services,camhs.he abused his power

[SacreBlue]

Even given the fact that it was legally and professionally wrong it was also totally morally wrong.

Many children and vulnerable adults may display behaviours that are provocative - physically even without any sexual nature. That doesn't make it right to assault them. It means they need care and protection in an appropriate way.

By all accounts it appears she was also deemed a 'vulnerable' child they all are of course but some more especially so by circumstance or additional mental/emotional stresses how many ways does this scumbag or anyone have to abuse another person before it becomes 'ok' to condemn the abuser's behaviour and choices and prosecute and punish the abuser?

It is as chilling to read how many don't understand this as it is heart warming to see so many do - I only hope that more people can see the utter immorality of this man using the term loosely soon so that we can step closer to eradicating the victim blaming and abuse excusing that is, unfortunately, still all too prevalent

[Startail]

Having been a bullied child befriended by a teacher, I'm not confused at all.

What he did was wrong, what my teacher did was wrong.

I don't know if said teacher intended to take it any further than 'friends' I didn't fancy him, had a very stable loving home and a pretty thick skin against being bullied. Yes I appreciated coffee and a bolt hole from my peers, but I wasn't looking for anything more.

In retrospect he became slightly less friends as I got older and this makes me wonder as to his motives. I think now he cooled it when he realised there would never be anything going.

[thebody]

Somedizzy how bloody awful. Bastard. Hope you are ok?

Beggars belief that anyone thinks this Is ok. Hope the bastard goes down for a very long time. Hope the police investigate all the other adults as well here.

[Catlike]

I wonder if the apologists on this thread caught the footage of him coming out of court this evening...smirking and making eye contact with the cameras

He probably knows that (unfortunately) there's widespread sympathy for and excusing of his actions. He knows he won't have to serve a long sentence and that he won't be given too hard a time when he gets out. His family and friends have stuck by him and defended and minimised his behaviour and his victim is still infatuated with him.

He's probably been promised a job when he's released, by a friend or relative and may well be making plans to move abroad with his victim as soon as she's 18. All the better to keep control and stop her m

[Catlike]

Stop her moving on when she outgrows the relationship.

[VinegarDrinker]

I'm sure someone has already picked up on this, but they did NOT "have an affair". He abused her.

[VinegarDrinker]

(In reference to the wording in the OP and widely in the media)

[flippinada]

Yeah I wouldn't be surprised at all Catlike.

Thinking about his parents. I know they defended him but I wonder what they really think, deep down - I remember his mother sobbing on the news, begging him to come home, father looking quietly livid. News reports also mentioned that his father collapsed outside the court today.

Somedizzy I know it;s not much but have some .

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

I think some people might be confusing abduction with kidnapping.
As others have said, taking a child out of the country/away from her parents without their consent is abduction - doesn't necessarily have to involve a sack over the head and bundling in to a car.

[Viviennemary]

I was quite shocked at them both mouthing the words I love you to each other. I think they should both have been held in contempt of court. A crime has been committed here and neither of them seems to be taking it very seriously. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets off with a suspended sentence.

[OxfordBags]

That there is any confusion as to why this was wrong is precisely why we live in a culture where this keeps happening. That women, that parents cannot fully understand the nature of consent, and that the power imbalance renders true, genuine consent possible in any case, astounds, angers and saddens me beyond belief. Women who unwittingly self-identify with misogyny and victim-blaming break my heart.

And Lijkk, those teen brides you mention - if they were legally allowed to marry, and were entering into marriage with a suitable peer with no position of power over her, then there can be no comparison to this case.

[scottishmummy]

she's a vulnerable self harmer,this wasn't romance it's an imbalanced relationship

[paperlantern]

It's the sorry that is so worrying. If she feels responsible for his sentence she may well also feel responsible for waiting for him until he is released. That in itself is going to give a massive power kick to him

[flippinada]

Ok, lets imagine for a moment that might be true.

If so, why didn't he spare her the stress and upset of giving evidence? Why did he not put his hands up and say yes, I did it, I'm sorry and I'll take the punishment? If she was genuinely suicidal - and he loved her - why didn't he seek help for her, insist she see a medical professional?

Oh and by the way, Romeo and Juliet isn't a romance; it's a tragedy. They both killed themselves.